The absolutely stupidest way I ever got a boyfriend [FM]

Miscreants littered the hallway into the basement that smelled of liquor and sweat. I can’t explain why I was at that party when I was 25, I’d graduated three years ago and I was still hanging out with college friends. Mostly everyone I went to class with moved back, but I still had a job and didn’t want to go home. But the music scene was good.

I won’t name names, but there’s a couple bands that played in my circle that are big enough to still be around. My favorite, well, I kind of miss the way she sang with that heavy voice. She was the closest person to ever make me contemplate my sexuality… But I’m getting too far away from why we’re here.

The cement floor meant one wrong move in that mosh pit would be pretty brutal. I got a bruise on my ribcage from standing too close to a guy doing roundhouse kicks. Not fun. I drank from a clear cup (I think) — and leaned against a wall talking to my friend who was still a Sophomore. It was a good show and later into the night when my ears had taken enough abuse I stepped back outside and onto the lawn. Three or four guys were drinking and laughing. Their bombastic and alcoholic grabbed my attention while I smoked my cigarette. They were all kind of cute in their own way, if I remember, but the one sitting on the bench had flawless, pale skin and these intense eyes that completely ignored me.

I really don’t know what prompted them to do it, but given how absolutely smashed they were, I at least know their excuse. One of them pulled his cock out. If it were any other situation, a more appropriate time and place, I probably would have been pretty pissed. But it was a hardcore show and everyone was wasted and it was between them really.

But like, see, I hate reliving this part because I feel so stupid for it. I only glanced towards his direction but it was enough to tell that his dick was huge. I glanced a couple more times but tried to keep my eyes elsewhere. Still, I couldn’t like, get that out of my head. He was huge. Even when it was soft he was big.

They caught me glancing and I looked away and kept smoking. It stuck out in my mind every once in a while. It wasn’t until around a few weeks later that I was at another show at the same house. Most of that party was pretty hazy because I was kinda drunk, but oh well. I saw him outside again and he was alone this time. He was kind of lost in something, probably just high, so I sat next to him. He glanced at me and I pulled out a cigarette and offered it to him. He refused it so I smoked alone. It was weird sitting next to him without either of us talking. I honestly thought he was going to stand up and leave, but he just sort of stared into a swath of trees not too far out from the driveway.

“You’re cute,” I said. It was around now I felt some intense anxiety. Like, I wanted to delete myself from existence for a second. Have you ever felt that? It’s super awful.

“Thanks, you too,” Ben said.

I can’t really remember the rest of the conversation too well, it meandered a lot. He gave me his name, Ben, before we mostly discussed stupid stuff about the band playing (I hated the one that was up, lead singer always gave me weird looks.

Thiiiiis was around when I just started looking at him and seeing nice things. That first impression sort of blindness where who you’re looking at is kind of flawless. I really can’t explain why I liked him that much at the time, he was, in retrospect, a little goofy looking. But he was slender and definitely looked like he was barely of legal drinking age. My head was kind of someplace else, and I don’t remember the exact words I used but they were pretty… targeted. Again, it was pretty stupid to do this, but to my knowledge, I asked this.

“Do you want head?” I asked.

He gave me a slow nod in response. I put my hand on his hand and leaned up and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. I’m pretty sure I was smiling.

We walked not too far and he leaned against a tree while I lifted my shirt off and I probably would have taken my bra off too but his pants were already down and.

Yeah…

I won’t sugarcoat it. He had a fat cock.

Out of any blowjob I’ve given, this was the one I remember most intensely, that’s kind of why I’m talking about it now.

With my fingers and only my fingers, I lifted his cock. It was handsome and pale and his pubic hair was dark, but no the same black as his hair. I had guessed he had dyed it, but that confirmed my suspicions.

With parted lips I sucked him hard. I like the way it felt in my mouth. The way it swelled to the point where it was troublesome to fit inside anymore. I still could, but it was… tough. I looked up at him and saw how thankful he was, it’s a really hard to describe look, when you’re not just seen as a means to an end, but instead someone appreciated. I think that’s why I liked him the most.

Feeling his cock in my hands was nice, it was really… heavy, as far as cocks go. Not weighty, but big enough that I could tell that it had weight at all.

I got a little too into it, I think. I remember tracing my fingertip along his length and counting softly to myself to just shy of eight. I’m not sure if that’s how many inches it was, but I’d like to say it was eight (I later discovered it was eight).

After that I sucked him. I kept my cheeks tight and pushed my lips out a little. I held the base of his cock in one hand and cupped his balls with my other and gave them the slightest little tug downward. It couldn’t have been more than three minutes before his knees buckled and he rolled his hips a couple of times. I felt him throb in my mouth. I kept sucking until finally he let off this really loud, almost squeaky, moan. It was really hard to forget.

It was kind of cute how he practically whimpered as he came on my tongue.

I pulled away and opened my mouth and showed him. Then I swallowed his bitter reward and smiled. He pat me on the head and I leaned up and tried to kiss him on the cheek, but he squirmed away from me. I don’t blame him, but still.

“You have a big cock,” I said.

He smiled awkwardly in response.

I reached out and grabbed his wrist and leaned in close to him. We stood there shoulder to shoulder against that tree with hits pants down and my shirt in the dirt. After a minute, I realized someone was looking into the trees and could barely see us. I put my shirt back on while he tugged his pants up.

“Thanks,” Ben said. He said my name too, but that’s not something I want to give away here. I liked the way he said my name, though.

We made small talk for a minute, I gave him my number and he gave me his. Finally, I walked back to my car where a little bottle of mouthwash was waiting for me in my purse. I gargled it it and spit it out onto the sidewalk curb.

And that’s the absolutely stupidest way I ever got a boyfriend.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/7txq2h/the_absolutely_stupidest_way_i_ever_got_a