Fucking a Hot Goblin [MF]

Some readers from the UK may have heard of Chiselhurst Caves, an old cave tunnel system quite near London that dates back thousands of years. Had all sorts of uses in its time but nowadays is open mostly for tours and events, and its famous for being haunted.

Strange start to a sexy story, right? Well it gets stranger.

I work in the film industry in the UK and was working on an advert for a foreign brand. We spent an afternoon filming a short sequence in the caves. As we were packing up our kit outside the front entrance, we noticed a group of people dressed as elves, goblins, and medieval knights eating sandwiches out of Tupperware. An odd sight, certainly, but a large illuminated sign suggested that the caves hosted a thriving ‘LARPing’ scene. I’d heard of this hobby, but had never before seen a real one in the wild, as it were. One particular creature caught my eye – a poised and pointy-jawed blonde who was painted completely green and wearing a tunic that showed off some very appealing cleavage. The first tits I’d ever seen that were quite so brightly coloured. These were more avocados than melons.

The group were all chatting happily away, and it seemed their game had finished for the day. As often happens in my line of work, many of them were interested in us as though we were the interesting ones. I was smoking a celebratory cigarette and checking through paperwork as my colleagues packed up the van, when green girl approached me to ask for a lighter.

“You sure that paint isn’t flammable?” I’m not the wittiest man alive, but it’s not through lack of trying.

“Who says it’s paint?” She smirked as she lit up her own fag. I laughed. Of course I did.

We stood there side-eyeing each other for a minute before she started asking what we were doing there. I told her about the advert and we talked a bit about my job. She seemed to be impressed (she really shouldn’t be), and that gave me the confidence to ask her a bit about her LARPing. She told me she’d always been a nerd but this was mostly an excuse to dress up and hang out with nice people.

“How did you get into it?” I asked.

“My ex actually got me involved. Before he ran off with some basic witch.” She flicked her hair a little in a mock Kardashian/instagram/duck face style.

“Sorry to hear that. Maybe you should have cast a spell on her or something?”

“I’m a goblin, you twat, we don’t do spells.” She laughed and took another drag on her cig.

“Well, sorry, I don’t know much about…whatever it is you do.” I said, honestly enough.

“Here.” She fished into her tunic pocket and pulled out a small pair of dice from her pocket. “Maybe you should roll the dice and find out.”

I was a bit lost at this stage. Was pretty goblin lady coming on to me right now? The situation seemed a bit absurd, even for me. I threw the dice down on the ground. She studied them as she landed and looked up into my eyes with a wicked grin.

“Wow!” She said “That’s a winning roll. You’re definitely a warrior.”

“Good to know.” I chuckled.

“I guess the only thing left for you to find out is how far down this paint job goes.”

I stood there in silence like a mug, my eyes widened and I stammered in disbelief. She laughed at me again and leaned in for a whisper.

“They’ll all be gone in half an hour. Meet me back here. I know how to get in.” She flicked away the butt of her cigarette and turned away, showing off her bum which still managed to look nice even covered by her canvas outfit.

Now, I’m a professional and the only thing more powerful than my libido is my career goals. So I had to make sure I didn’t end up being ‘that guy’ on the film shoot. I had a plan – the whole crew were staying in a nearby hotel. I jumped in my car and met the rest of my crew at the hotel for a quick pint.

“Right then,” I said as I poured the last sodden dregs down my gut, “off to bed for me I think. 2 scenes tomorrow and we’re done boys.” I left them there to drink until they collapsed. Instead of going up to my room, I hopped straight back in my car and headed back to the caves. All the staff had gone and the illuminated signs were dimmed. The halfling hottie was there waiting, puffing on another cigarette, as gracefully as one can when looking like a slutty cabbage.

“Do you come here often?” I joked as I got out of the car and locked up.

“Did you bring one of those cool cameras?” She asked. I shook my head. “Shame.” She said. “I suppose the light down there is terrible anyway.”

She gestured down a rocky set of steps to the dedicated “LARPer” entrance to the caves.

She finished her fag and led me down the steps. She opened a wooden door with a heavy metal key that looked like it was older than her. I was back in the dingy caves, dimly lit with grimy electric bulbs, but this room had a big wooden table in it with some kind of gameboard etched into it.

“So this is where the magic happens?” I said.

“If you’re lucky.” She smirked. “We have to be quick. The night tours start in 20 minutes. They walk through the parallel caves.”

“Quick?” I said. “I don’t even know what we’re doing yet.” Now it was my turn to smirk. I wanted the goblin to work for it.

“Oh really? Well, I’m showing you how to play aren’t I? We already know you’re a warrior. We just need to find out what kind of weapon you’ve got.”

DING DING DING, as a typical British boy, cheesy innuendos are my weakness.

She pulled me towards her and shared our first kiss. The dim light and the fact I was going to fuck a fictional creature made this the most bizarre sexual experience I’ve had in my life.

I started to feel up her legs, her hips and her ass through the tunic. Every visible part of her was the same green colour, and to my intense surprise, when she seductively pulled the tunic up and over her head, I discovered that she really was green all over. She only had a small red pair of panties and a white bra which framed her ample assets beautifully. We made out some more and she rubbed at my crotch before tugging down my jeans and boxers and diving head first onto my cock.

The feeling was amazing, especially watching her pretty green nose push up against my decidedly human appendage.

The goblin kept gobbling until my involuntary moans started echoing in the dark underground chamber. She got back to her feet and unclasped her bra as I pushed down her panties.

She turned and leaned over the table, knocking wooden playing pieces over as she did so. I saw her full, luscious and luminescent butt waiting for me to sheath my throbbing sword.

I lined up behind her and pushed inside her sopping pagan pussy. We began thrusting into each other, and soon both of us were grunting and groaning like animals in the cold cavern. Her free-flowing slit and our sweat was making things a bit runny down there, and as I pounded I noticed her ass paint was rubbing off onto my crotch.

“I…give…myself to…you…sure. Fuck me, you brute.” She moaned between thrusts. That was an unexpectedly sexy turn of events and I felt that familiar tingle in my balls.

“Take it you goblin whore.” I pounded even harder and faster into her, and feeling her legs start to quake in pleasure, I pulled out and spewed a thick load over her green bum.

We had to clean the two green tit-prints off the table before making out some more and feeling each other up. It wasn’t until we heard the rumblings of a nearby night-tour than we pulled our clothes back on and left. I drove her home and shared a last kiss before never seeing her, or any other goblin, again.

The next day me and the crew returned to the caves for some pick-up shots. I heard rumours in the cafe that one of the night tours last night had to be cancelled after guests heard what they could only imagine was ghosts, and one lady fainted.

If you guys ever get the chance to fuck a goblin, I’d recommend it.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/789sui/fucking_a_hot_goblin_mf