This happened 7 years ago. I was in deep depression before it happened. My wife left me. My PhD research was going nowhere, stuck in the same place for years. No plan B. Nothing to live for. Not good.
My escape was going into online anonymous chat rooms and chatting up girls. On rare occasions, they were actually girls. On rarer occasions, I got to meet up and hook up. Even got some FWBs. Setting my standards very low helped. My only rule was unmarried and has a uterus. My other only rule was no falling in love and no getting into serious relationships.
One fateful night, I met a girl there. I thought she could be the one – the elusive hookup after just one convo. But she turned on me in the last minute and said she wanted more than one night. So one conversation turned into two, which turned into two months of online chatting, every night, all night.
I should have stopped when she told me she had a boyfriend, but something drew me in. We were just talking, right? What harm can be done? When she told me her life story, my carer instincts flared up and drew me even closer. I’m a sucker for damsels in distress. She had left our country and lived in the US for a while and got engaged to an American soldier. After he got killed in action, she flew back home to wallow in sadness and sleeplessness. Her return wasn’t going well and she wasn’t finding herself here. The boyfriend was just a rebound, a space filler. No replacement to the lost love of her life.
I’ve felt she was a kindred spirit. A lost soul in search of herself, mourning her lost love. Just like me. I’ve felt that I was healing her, and that she was healing me. We were totally different, yet so much alike. She was a temperamental waitress and I was a dorky aspiring scientist, but we had the same evil sense of humor tinged with bitterness, many shared interests, and even had the same favorite book. She also shared my wish for me to tie her up and rape her in the butt. I fell in love, Against my wishes, and so did she.
We agreed to skip one night of chatting, on account of me being busy the next day. However, that night, I couldn’t sleep, so I ended up staying up all night, waiting for her to maybe log on. She didn’t, so while waiting I thought about my research, and got my EUREKA moment. I solved my entire PhD question that night. Years of depression and self-loathing have come to an end. I was reborn.
We finally met up a few weeks later, after two months of chatting. We had a whole month to ourselves, while her boyfriend was away. I didn’t feel any guilt. I told myself that I was the one healing her.
She was beautiful in her pictures, but way more beautiful in real life. I could get high just by cupping her face in my hands and staring into her eyes. I literally had an out of body experience one time, just standing next to her in our secluded spot and being overwhelmed with love. She too had a couple of bursts of tears after being flooded with too much emotion. It was raw, unadulterated love in its purest form. I also tied her up and raped her in the butt, mind you. Good stuff. I’ve had more sex with her in one month than I’ve had in my entire 4 years of marriage. I didn’t know a woman could have so many orgasms in a single night, every night. Hell, prior to that point in time, I didn’t know a woman could have an orgasm at all.
When we were still chatting, and discovered all of our mutual kinks, she used to joke that with all that planning, we’d end up having boring vanilla sex. Well, we did have some adventures, such as sex in public, light BDSM, enacting rape fantasies, taking her anal virginity and more. However, our most memorable encounter was different.
We were in my apartment, getting ready to go out on a date, but couldn’t get our hands off each other. We entered my room, turned off the lights and started having sex, missionary style. My roommate was supposed to enter the flat at any moment, so we had to keep quiet. I plowed into her, in long, deep, slow strokes. We kept in eye contact throughout the entire experience. In the dark, I could see her eyes growing moist, pupils widening. Her gaze was holding onto my own, as if grabbing for dear life, begging me. I don’t know what for, but she was definitely begging me for something she had to have. As I plowed into her, I could feel everything she was feeling, through her eyes and her body. We were almost becoming one. It was as if I was reaching for her heart through her vagina. We tried to hold it, but it didn’t take long before it exploded – she suddenly grabbed onto me, powerfully, and started having the most intense orgasmic spasms. I absorbed all of her quakes deep inside me until she tearfully subsided. That was our boring vanilla sex, and it was the most intense sexual experience I’ve ever had.
This was the happiest I’ve ever been. The combination of years of stress being lifted from my shoulders, such an intense love and so much ego-affirming mid-blowing sex was explosive. However, I knew from the start that it wasn’t meant to be a long term relationship, seeing as she was cheating on her boyfriend with me and wasn’t very stable (meaning – crazy insane and obssessive). That’s why I wasn’t so upset when I learned that the reason her boyfriend was away was because he was moving to the US, and that she was moving there with him, attempting a fresh start.
Still, the relationship lasted an extra year, long distance, with one more, month-long, date. I tried to cut the cord after that but it took me years to get her off my mind, and I admit I have contacted her a few times during those years, and foolishly allowed her to emotionally torture me for my crime of ending our relationship.
If you followed the plot up to here, you may have noticed some holes in her story. It took me a few years to admit to that and guess the real details. Googling her US phone number confirmed my suspicions. It revealed the name she was using there, and that her fiance was never killed in action, but was alive and well and married to her all these years. The sleepless nightly chats were probably simply due to time difference, since they were living in the US, and our miraculous god-sent random meeting in a seedy chat room was simply her looking for a summer fling for her homecoming vacation.
Still, I got so much from meeting her. I don’t regret it at all. I Just feel a little bit guilty.
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/6zquxw/deus_ex_machina_mf