Sexy glade, sexy sexy

Lady: “Mister, what are you doing alone in my wood on this dark night?”
Lahdy: “Oh, hello! What are we doing in this glade?”
Lady: “This is my grandpoppy, Dicki’s.”
Lady: “Look at my vagine!”
Lady: “Wow! I’ve never smelled an egg in a glass vagine.”
Lady: “Well, let’s play a movie.”
Lady: “On Netflix?”
Lady: “No, in the vagine.”
Lady: “Can we not handcuff me to the gopher?”
Lady: “But whips are not painful for this soft mommy! ;) “
Lady: “Ok, let’s play a dominating game.”
Lady: “How?”
Lady: “Well, first strip me from these burdens. Next, lather me in coconut oil. Then, pull out a deck of cards. Finally, nibble and exfoliate me.”
Lady: “How soft your skin is, m’lady!”
Lady: “That’s because I play this game alllllllll the time.”
Lady: “Can I invite my walrus?”
Lady: “Where will he put his tusks?”
Lady: “Obviously, they both can be used as decoration on the cake for my party later.”
Lady: “Fantastic! Where should flap his tail?”
Lady: “HE should flap his tail alllllllllll over me.”
Lady: “Great! But, what should I do with my snow leopard? Can HE come too?”
Lady: “No, his nails are too sharp. They would cut my vagine.”
Lady: “Waaaaait a minute. I thought you liked that.”
Lady: “Yes, people often assume that the trail of cuts running from my inner thigh through my vagine are from sexual scratches. However, that’s just because I too own a snow leopard.”
Lady: “Wow, how fast does he ride you up the mountain?”
Lady: “He rides me sooooooooo fast.”
Lady: “Cool. Cool cool cool. I recently was thinking about whether bestiality or incest would be more likely to be accepted in mainstream sex. Glad we on same page, betch!””

Source: reddit.com/r/Erotica/comments/6n6ytc/sexy_glade_sexy_sexy