I’m A Devout Christian, But Into BDSM [MF] [Kink]

I’m Christian, and I’m pretty involved with my local church. I attend worship ever Sunday, and I help organise community events and fundraise. I’m also very submissive, and always have been. Even just in day to day life I hate having to take the lead on anything. I like it when a man takes control. And the idea of being spanked and told what to do turns me on. It also really, really makes me wet to think about being hurt while being fucked. Like being fucked so hard it hurts, or in the ass, because that’s quite painful for me. Other fetish stuff I’m not so keen on. I’ve never wanted to get dressed up in leather or go to an orgy or anything.

Sometimes I feel really dirty and low, because I’m standing there with the congregation singing or in prayer and I’m still hurting because last night a guy I met on the internet fucked me in the ass. I’m probably one of the most sinful people at the church I go to, and so sometimes it does make me feel kind of dirty by comparison. The way I make sense of it to myself is that God gave me this body. By enjoying it I’m enjoying and embracing the gift he gave me. It’s hard to remember that sometimes.

I only want one guy in my life, and so it needs to be someone who I can take home to my family and think about getting married to one day – and who will go to church and support me in church stuff – but who also will fuck me really hard and hurt me and call me names, or force me sometimes. That’s a difficult thing to find, because most of the guys I go on dates with are just too nice. I want them to take control, but they’re so intent on respecting my boundaries that they would never dream of it… and it’s not the same if you have to ask them to do it.

Sometimes when I’m tied up and being fucked and a guy is calling me a slut and a whore I get this deep, dark feeling of arousal because it’s so bad, so wrong, but I’m liking it. I can feel my body responding to it, and it makes me feel slutty and deeply submissive. But any time that I’m not turned on I’m not usually too proud of what I enjoy.

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*This is extracted from an interview I did with one of my friends for my blog. If you want to read the full thing, you can (find it here)[http://www.lascivity.co.uk/devout-christian-bdsm/].*

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/6icyny/im_a_devout_christian_but_into_bdsm_mf_kink