DISCLAIMER: this story did not end in any sexual activities. It is just a funny/embarrassing story that happened to me years ago. I’m sure some of you will be able to fantasize it and take it wherever you want (I do), but most will probably not get off from reading it. Skip to the line to avoid background info.
You know how you can just suppress embarrassing shit that happens to you to the point where you forget it even happened? Well, this is one of those times. I recently remembered this while high as beans and figured I’d share it with you strangers.
This happened about 7 years ago while I was in high school (freshman or sophomore), so some of the details are hazy. I’ll try to retell it with as much accuracy as possible.
Being the hormone-filled young teen that I was, my mind was constantly on sex. I was/am a frequent masturbator (holla), and continually satisfied my urges with imaginative scenes that I had created in my head like a perverted Spielberg. I’m sure many of us can relate to these type of fantasies: knocking on your friend’s door and being led into an empty house by his/her mother, your girlfriend getting drunk and initiating a threesome with her best friend, etc. You know..guy stuff! One of my fantasies revolved around getting a physical from a hot doctor, leading to her stuffing cotton balls up my ass and..just kidding..leading to sex on the doctors table. I also found older women attractive from a young age. I fantasized about all my friend’s moms and teachers. I never cared about looks either- sex is sex to me. Short, tall, small, large.. doesn’t matter. I see beauty in everyone, and usually the older the better.
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In homeroom, I was given a slip which told me I needed to go to the nurse’s office at a certain time. I figured it was just the ole height, weight, eyesight ordeal that happened every year. I was happy to miss out on class, so when the time came I just about ran to the nurse. The thought of being there made my dick stir mildly, but since I figured it was just the typical examination, I didn’t think much of it. However, when I arrived at the office, I noticed that the nurses were not performing any examinations. Instead, a couple students were sitting in chairs next to a room that had a closed door.
A woman told me to take a seat and wait for my name to be called. At this point I was getting suspicious, and this only grew when a student opened the door that had been closed and left the room. Behind him was a older nurse, easily 65-75 years old, probably older. She wore a stethoscope, which told me that she was not a school nurse, but probably a doctor affiliated with the school? Still, I did not think I would be getting a full physical at school. Did they even do that? I had never received or heard of someone getting a physical at school.. besides, I knew I had one on record because I played sports, so there was no need to get one now. She called the next student in and shut the door behind her. I sat in the chair with my mind racing about the situation. Ya boy was getting the tinglez. I tried to keep my thoughts elsewhere, telling myself that I wouldn’t be getting a full physical just to keep my boner from tearing through my pants.
I tried to relax, but then I heard a cough come from behind the closed door. Then another..
Yeaaaah my balls are definitely about to get touched.
The door opens and my name is called. I get up and look down to make sure my halfy isn’t wagging like a dogs tail. The nurse gives me a smile and closes the door behind me. I sat on the bed in the room usually reserved for kids who fake an illness to catch some z’s and miss class.
“I think I remember you from when you were little,” she says to me as she looks through a folder. I give her a smile as she shows me a picture of an elementary school me in my file. “Look how cute!”
God dammit. Any innocence that she still sees in me is about to be torn to fucking shreds.
The angel on my shoulder is telling me to chill the fuck out and be normal. The devil on the other is telling me to rev my engines a bit and sport a semi hard cock to impress this old goat when it’s time to drop the trousers. Dumb teenage logic followed by dumb teenage decision-making as I try to maintain a slightly engorged penis. ?Bounce on the devil rub my wiener till it’s sore ?
She checks my heartbeat, moving the scope along my chest and back. She then asks me to stand on the scale to check my height and weight. My eyes probably widened, but thankfully I had on a pair of small shorts under my jeans (which I never do) that hid my semi. At this point is when I realized that I could not let the devil win. How could I possibly think that something sexual would happen? Plus, in case you haven’t gotten the point by now, she is fucking OLD. Like the fact that she got out of bed that morning, got ready, drove to the school, and stood on her feet all day touching wet nuts is impressive. Was I really about this life? Maybe..but this wasn’t the ideal time and place. I tried to subdue my horniness, but it just would not stop. The anticipation of this white-haired, wrinkly, older woman seeing and touching my package would not let my dick quit. I’m a sick fuck.
I step off the scale and move away to the center of the room. She tries to make small talk, but I am probably acting stand-offish as I’m embarrassed by the thoughts in my head and actions in my pants. She then stands behind me and asks me to bend over and get ready for the prostate examination I mean scoliosis test. After, she walks in front of me to a table and, with her back turned, says nonchalantly, “Now drop your pants.”
This is it. I’m about to show this lovely senior citizen my angry half chub. She is putting on a pair of latex gloves with her back still turned as I drop my pants to the floor. I did not, however, pull down the shorts that were under my jeans. I was not ready to show my dick, and I thought that this would buy me some time? She half turns, still trying to get her gloves on, and says, “those too.” I lower them as she faces away again, and I immediately grab my Johnson to hide the embarrassment.
My robo-cock is booted to 75% and sirens in my head are going off WARNING: INCOMING LIVER SPOTTED HANDS as she turns and walks towards me. I’m sure she noticed my dick, which my hands were having a hard time covering. “You didn’t have to drop your pants all the way,” she says, but like, what the fuck does that matter, I thought. Looking back, she probably just tried to say anything to make this situation less awkward for me.
She tells me to look to the side and cough as she grabs my sack. My hands stay on my dick the entire time, pinning it to the side against my pelvic area. When she finished, I immediately pulled my pants up and waited until she told me the exam was over. She never mentioned or acknowledged my issue because she’s a god damn professional.
I left the office and texted all of my friends, asking if they got physicals too. All of them said no. The whole situation was weird (I made it weirder!), and I never got another physical in school again. For all I know, I might’ve given that poor old woman a heart attack with my ill-timed boner.
Best believe I beat my meat to this situation. Some consideration for those who wish to do the same: make it into one of those fun “choose your own ending” stories!!!!!!!! My favorite: she moves my hand away and says something like “wow you’re not a little boy anymore” before giving a sloppy bj. I like to imagine I have to help get her on and off her knees too since she’s old as dirt. Maybe she even puts the latex glove on my dick, rationalizing it as ‘I’m a doctor’ and not to question her.
TLDR; two fantasies collide as an old lady gives me a full physical.. except it just ends with me getting an embarrassing boner and sweating profusely.
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/6ck3bd/mf_lets_all_laugh_about_the_time_i_got_a_boner
This was fucking hilarious man. Thanks for sharing!