I miss being up there. I used to date a woman there, her name was Tori. She was a vampire, sort of. I met her at a bar in Long Beach called Que Sera that was hosting their monthly goth night. She was a year younger than me and was a bit shy but her and I still danced at a few points. She wore cat ears, and this gigantic black dress with a petticoat under it. I fell in love with her that night.
We exchanged phone numbers and I vowed to come visit her up in Monrovia (right next to Pasadena) as soon as possible.
A week later we set up a meet time and I drove up to pick her up from her massive, empty house. She was a photographer, or at least she wanted to be. Darling child looked just like Anne Frank. We went for a hike up to the Monrovia waterfall but she had trouble due to her huge dress. I held her hand as we walked up the hill and eventually we reached there.
We sat next to each other on a rock.
“You know, I haven’t been this happy in a long time. You’re so wonderful to be around” I told her
“Yeah, I’m glad you feel that way. I’m just glad I can get someone to come up to see me. I live so far and I don’t drive. It, well, it gets lonely.”
“I know. I’m surrounded by others and yet, it still feels easy to be alone.”
I try to kiss her. She moves her face away and I only manage to kiss her cheek
“Is it too early for this?” I ask her
“No, Blakey, I’m sorry…” She trails off.
“What is it love?”
“Blake, I’m asexual. I don’t have these sort of feelings.”
I open my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. She cuts me off.
“It’s hard Blake. I don’t know, but, I’m ashamed.”
“Did something happen to you?”
“Well, this isn’t why I’m Ace, but the few times I’ve had sex, well…”
She looks away, a single tear rolls down her face. I put my arms around her and bring her into my chest.
“Blakey, I was raped. A lot.”
“What…what happened?” I stutter out. This wasn’t the first time a woman I dated had told me about her assault, but it usually was in private. There were people around. A few watched from afar.
“They tried to get me drunk. I’m never good with alcohol, that’s why I rarely drink. But in high school… These mean old boys got me drunk on vodka. It was at a park-”
“You don’t need to tell me more if you don’t want to. I’ll accept you for who you are.”
***
She was a photography student at one of the small art institutes around Pasadena, though I’m no longer sure of what one it was. Tori also had a peculiar habit of sleeping though the day and only coming out at night.
[Animals had a strange sense of calmness around her; nights we spent in Monrovia we’d see deer (which the poor thing walked into while on her phone, and the deer didn’t even seem to mind) and a mountain lion once. The mountain lion laid on its belly like a kitten once it saw her. She started to approach it but I held her back by her peter pan collared dress, least all I have to remember her by is a bloody dress.]
She had an assignment due though, soon, that had to be shot during the day.
“Blake, can you come by and help me with some photos? I need to cover you with flower, and possibly candle wax in my back yard. Are you ok with getting naked?”
Of course I was.
I came wearing a kilt and a black sweater wearing large boots and a pair of belts. I looked good that day. I knock on her door and she opens it up and grabs my hand and pulls me into the back yard.
“Alright, so I need to get some shots in of movement using particles, so I’m going to have you get undressed down to your underwear and throw flour on you, ok?”
“Yeah, but I don’t need to be wearing any underwear”
“Well, just keep them on. I don’t want to explain this to my mother”
*
The hot wax was never used, she got a little weird after touching my body and throwing flour onto it for an hour. We ended up cuddling in the grass for a while, while I read her poetry I wrote. Then one of her long sleeves caught the grass and pulled up.
“Your wrists… that’s why you always wear long sleeves huh dear?”
She pulled away and rolled from next to me, blushing.
“Darling its ok, scars make the body more interesting. I think you’re amazing still Tori”
She paused and looked at me, unsure of her response. “Blake, we’re just friends…” she trailed off. Her retort had guilt intertwined.
***
I don’t have any photos of this night, its a shame that these images are only pressed into my own personal memories but I’ll tell it in the best way I can remember it; the smile on her face and the scent of her hair disregarded.
She was really into goth music obviously, though she was deathly afraid of spiders. Tori never drove, which meant her experience with the outside world was limited though she was 21 years of age. Her favorite band was playing at Bar Sinister soon though, a BDSM club near Hollywood and Highland.
She mentioned how she wanted to go. Naturally I told her I’d take her.
*
The night of the show she told me to pick her up from a party she was at over near Alhambra. It was in the suburbs, only a few blocks from where I had to take Cindy’s Acrua TL just a half year prior when I wrecked its transmission replacing a CV joint when we were together.
I pull up to the end of the cul-de-sac where the house was and send her a text.
“Alright kitty I’m here, come out to the old white mustang.”
“I’ll be out in a sec can you finish my drink?”
“Yeah of course. See you in a sec”
I was excited to see her after she drank a few. She loosened up quite a bit after a glass or two of pink wine. Her black clothes deceived how feminine her nature was.
She came out holding an orange solo cup filled with some kind of teenage liquor and wearing a black band shirt with a huge black lace tutu. Some emoish plastic bracelets adorned her arms.
“Hey Blakey, thanks for coming all the way out to pick me up. Try some of this, but watch out, its strong!”
“Oh its not a problem at all Tori.” I said as I gave her a side hug and grabbed the drink from her. As I took a sip I realized there was hardly any liquor at all in it.
“Do you want to grab a bottle of wine for the ride over there?”
“Sure, as long as I get to pick.” She had a child like giddiness.
*
She sat in the passenger seat contently sipping out of a red cup filled with cheap sugary pink wine while occasionally putting her hand on the rapidly vibrating stick shift. She kept talking about how excited she was to see this band and how cool I was for letting her drink in the car, though she would hide it every time a large car or truck passed, thinking it may be a cop. I had become long since too jaded to care and just enjoyed feeling young again with someone who still had the sensibility to see the world as a novel experience.
“Oh and Blakey, I brought you something to wear with me.”
“What is it?” I asked without taking my eyes off of the 10 westbound.
“Its this. You’re going to wear it cause you’re mine tonight!” She said with a devilish smirk. She held a leather collar in her hand.
We were dressed in all black for the show at Bar Sinister- a coupon cut the cover down to five dollars if you dressed the dress. Of course, everyone already was dressed to the 9’s in bullet belts, pvc corsets and whatever other fetishwear they copped from that weird scene in the matrix where that industrial remix of dragula played in the background… or really, any of the matrix’s getups.
She wore her band tee and a short black skirt. I wore a pair of black 510’s and a black turtleneck stolen from a 1950’s beatnik. And a leather collar that Tori grabbed me by.
*
“Come on, just wear it!” She begged me as I parked the mustang next to a school and in front of a couple of mexicans in an astrovan smoking a joint.
“Tori, I mean, its kind of strange…” I protested.
“Yeah, but this place is kind of weird, and I want them to know that you’re mine to protect me!”
“Tori, come on. I already bought you that bottle of wine. We’ll have a good night.” I grab the bottle of cheap moscato and take a swig. She takes it back and finishes the bottle, coughing a bit after a large chug. I take the bottle back from her and after us exiting the car, deposited it over a fence into the elementary school. The bottle shattered, probably a common occurrence at that school.
“Blakey, I brought it for you. Look, just try it on, I know you’ll look good with it on.” She said with a wry smile.
“Look, if only Micheal and Maria weren’t coming I wouldn’t be so opposed. But seriously-” She cuts me off.
“Ok, fine.”
After walking a ways closer to the club, I take it from her and put it on. Her eyes lit up, and she giggled a bit but didn’t say a word.
*
The rest of the night was more or less uneventful, at least when you ignore the background weirdness of being in a hypersexed goth club. Micheal, who is my room mate, and Maria, his then girlfriend and also my ex friend with benefit(s?), were up in the bondage room beating each other as that was what got them both off, stayed away from the band area.
I held her the entire time her favorite band played- at first I didn’t try to hold onto her but she grabbed my arms and made me grasp her hips.
The lead singer also liked to spit on the audience. I didn’t mind.
I did try to kiss her though, by flipping her around; I stood behind her with my arms around her petite body which I guarded like a soldier from drunken partiers and mosh pits that formed. At first she ignored this but then made some subtle comments about my advances.
“Blakey, that’s not why I brought you here.” She sternly told me.
***
We had never been very intimate before other than a kiss on her cheek due to her asexuality, which I never quite believed in but thats well besides the point. She was hurt, and she cut.
***
“Darling, come on, please leave them with me.” I tell her in the car in front of her house after a hike and a show at pherspace. This was the first time I saw her since I met her at Que Sera.
“I promise not to use them anymore Blakey. I pinky promise!” She holds out her fist with a pinky erect.
“Yes, but why even be reminded of them?”
She looked out the window at a full moon.
“I just… I dont know. They make me feel safe.”
I reached in to hug her. Her head collapsed into my arms.
“I care about you Tori. You don’t need those. I…”
She started to tear up.
“Darling child I don’t want you to have those.”
She stayed still for a minute or more and then asks me to wait out in the car for a moment.
“Take good care of them, ok?” She spoke softly as she hands me a set of x-acto knives.
“I will. Can I please kiss you before you go?”
“You know I can’t…” She sounded a bit upset.
“Just your cheek I mean.” I say as I grab her thin hand.
“Alright, just this once.”
She winced a smile when I did. It was adorable.
***
I had a client with my room mate Micheal one day only about a mile south of her house. He was an older man who needed some viruses and such removed; it was a one man job honestly.
“Hey darling, guess where I am?” I texted her, with photos of myself taken in the huge mirrors of the house.
“Looks like Monrovia to me!” She messaged back, with a photo of her in her black pajamas.
“Want to hang out afterwards? We can go back to my apartment.”
We do.
***
Micheal drove and so her and I sat together in the back of the Rav4. She was acting a bit different that day; she wasn’t trying to keep my hands off of her as much. She was ok holding my hand from the start.
“Hey, I haven’t seen Colin in a while, lets hit him up and grab a drink.” She told me. Colin was a mutual friend of ours.
“Yeah, sounds like fun. I’ll give him a call.”
We set up a meet time to grab a drink at the House of Haden near my apartment.
***
We walked down there and met up with Colin. Colin was a tall fellow, who was really into new wave. He kind of looked like a Persian version of Robert Smith of The Cure fame.
“Hello hello dear friends, what have you two been doing?” Colin welcomed us as we entered the bar.
“Taking pictures, watchin anime, the usual ya know. How about you?” She responded.
“Oh you know, Ive been writing more songs, working on philosophy books again. I have some new album art I did in photoshop.”
He showed her and I the artwork he made on his phone. It was of greek statues in a cave with bats. It looked alright.
The bartender took our orders. I had a pabst and Colin just ordered water. Tori, on the other hand, ordered an LA water.
“Those are strong sweetheart, you sure?” I asked her. Each drink had about 3 shots worth of alcohol in them.
“Yeah, I’m just feelin like it today. Ive seen you drink them all the time anyways!” She sounded quite giddy.
“Alright, its your choice.” I told her, the I said “I’ll cover whatever she has.” to the bartender.
She sucked the drink down in under 5 minutes while Colin and I discussed some low level political events. Without us noticing she ordered a second round.
“I’m going to go to the bathroom real quick.” She mentioned to us looking a bit pale.
“Is she going to be alright? You guys just got here!” The bartender asked us.
“Hey Colin, I’m sorry to cut this short, I don’t know why she drank so much. I think I need to take her back to my place”
“Yeah, I’ve seen her do this. She’s in good hands at least.”
“Help me finish her drink, will ya?” I ask him.
I chugged my beer and we left her with less than a quarter of a glass left. She finished the glass and then collapsed into me.
“Tori, are you ok?”
“Yeah, I’m totally fine…” She slured to me.
“Hey Tori, I have to go. It was great seeing you though! Why don’t you have Blake take you back to his place and rest real quick?”
“But Colin I barely got to see you!” She held out her arms to hug him. I paid for our drinks and then grabbed onto Tori.
“We gotta go love. We’ll see him again soon don’t you worry!”
***
I had her arm over my shoulder and helped her walk back to my apartment about 3 blocks as the sun started to set into the December night.
“Blakey, you’re not mad at me right?”
“No, of course not. Why’d you get so drunk though? We wern’t there longer than 15 minutes. In fact I’m amazed it hit you that fast.”
“I don’t know, I just wanted to have fun I guess.”
“We all make mistakes, its ok.”
“Have I told you how much I love yu yu hakusho? We need to watch it together!”
She rambled about that until she started to have even more trouble walking, a few apartments away from mine. At that point I lifted her 90 pound body with my 120 pound body and carried her.
And then I carried her up my flight of stairs.
***
“What the hell happened to her?” Micheal asked as I came up the stairs.
“I don’t really know. I need to take care of her though.”
“Alright. Oh, Maria is coming over tonight by the way.”
“Fun fun.” I said sarcastically as I opened the door to my bedroom. The lights were off and the room was clean. I gently set her onto my bed.
“Are you alright sweetheart?” I asked her gently. She simply nodded.
“Do you want any pillows?”
“No… thats ok.”
“Water?”
“No…”
“Alright, well if there’s anything you need-”
“Come here” She held her arms outstretched.
“Lay next to me Blakey”
“Are you sure?” I asked as I grabbed her hand. She pulled me in next to her on my twin sized bed.
“Lay your head where I can see yours eyes Blakey…”
We locked eyes in the near darkness; she ran her hand through my hair while I placed one hand on her waist and placed my other arm under her neck. She moved closer to me.
“Thanks for being so wonderful.” Tori said quietly.
She closed her eyes gently and turned her head ever so slightly, and opened her mouth just enough for her teeth to catch her lower lip. I slowly moved my mouth towards her, letting each of our breaths catch each other. Each time I got closer I paused, to make sure she was ok with it, and also to savor the sweet smell of her breath~
Our lips touched, slowly at first, taking 5 seconds just to move after the first contact of the tips of our kiss. Tori then opened her mouth, and I grabbed her lower lips with mine. She let out a gasp in shock and desire; I pushed her over and got on top of her body, placing my hands on her shoulders, placing a deal of pressure on them.
Her arms grasped my torso, and she pulled me into her. I could feel her tight breasts against my chest as she motioned with her mouth to place my tongue in hers. She wrapped her legs around my hips and motioned to rub my erect penis against her lightly clothed crouch.
***
“Blakey,” She said after 20 mins. “This is weird.” Followed by her pushing me off of her.
At first I didn’t respond. I didn’t want this to end.
“Well, its kind of new for you…” I said sheepishly.
“I know. This is, well, the first time I’ve done something like this without being… forced.”
“You don’t think its wrong that you’re drunk?”
“To be honest, I wanted to try it, with you. Its easier when I feel a bit looser.”
“I see darling. Do we need to stop?”
“Hmm…”
“I see…”
Suddenly she had a deep smile on her face.
“Not for tonight.”
She grabbed me again and started kissing on me. I decided to take a risk.
I placed my hand on the inside of her leg, close to the bottom of her short shorts. They had large leg openings.
“Watch your hands there Blakey…” She said as she blushed.
We laid next to each other at this point, facing each other with my hand on the bottom leg. We looked at each other.
“What are you worried about?”
“I don’t know if you’ll want to see down there…”
I moved my hand up more, and placed a few fingers up her shorts…
She looked down at my face with fear in her eyes as I motioned my hands up her shorts. She was wearing tights as well as shorts so I knew I wasn’t going to be able to feel much; however, I wanted her so bad I would take what I could get.
“You’re not going to touch me there, are you?” She asked, though offering no resistance.
“I don’t know, I want to pretty bad…” I said in a breathy voice. I was rapidly losing the ability to control myself.
“Bite my neck then.” She threw her head back in anticipation.
I sank my teeth into her neck as I traversed the last inch up to where her vagina would be if it wasn’t guarded by her tights and panties. I started to rub the soft flesh as she started to shake.
“Blake, I…”
“What is it?”
“I…”
“Are you ok?”
She didn’t respond, instead grabbing a hold of my hair and gently pulling on it. I moved from her neck to kiss her face, and as I did I pulled my hand out of the bottom of her shorts and undid the button on her shorts. She then bit my bottom lip, harder than she had before.
After undoing the single button and unzipping her pants I placed my hand down on her nude flesh. Feeling around she had a full but maintained and soft bush and smelled of lavender. I worked hand down her mound of venus slowly, rubbing all the unloved skin on the way to her sensual parts.
“Oh my god Blake…”
“Should I stop?”
“I would have asked you to stop.”
She grabbed my wrist and pushed it down farther. My middle finger reached her clit, which I instinctively started to rub.
“Eeeyyyykk!” Tori immediately called out.
“That feels nice, huh?” I ask as I rub her soaking wet clit in circles.
“Yes yes… but what if Micheal hears?” She asked as she grabbed my hand to stop me. Next door to my bedroom we could hear Micheal’s girlfriend Maria moaning.
“I don’t think they’ll mind love.” I said to her as I move my hand down farther.
“I just dont want to- Oh my god! Ahhhh!” She exclaimed as I placed a single finger inside of her body.
***
This went on for a few minutes longer.
“Hold- hold on a sec. I want to try something.” She said as she pulled my hand out of her shorts.
“What is it Tori?” I asked as I licked her sweet tasting fluids off of my fingers
“You do that? I-” She then pushed me over and started kissing all over me. My head laid up against the headboard.
“I want to know how you taste too Blakey!” She moved down next to my hips and undid the button of my jeans.
“I… Ive never done this before, don’t judge me.” She said as she pulled my penis from my red boxer briefs.
“Trust me Tori, I won’t. I still can hardly believe this is happening.” I said with a smile. She smiled back and licked the shaft of my penis.
“The trick is to get it covered in spit first darling. It also might be a bit… uhh… much for you.”
“I think I got it Blakey!” She said proudly.
She fit the tip of my penis in her mouth, using more teeth than most guys would like, but I tend to enjoy a bit of pain.
“Ahh..” I laid my head back and let her experiment. She reminded me of my high school girlfriend, who was a lesbian.
***
The blowjob got an A for effort but she got tired quickly. She laid back down next to me.
“Do you… want to finish?” Tori asked me.
“Only if you want to lover..”
“Yes… lets do it. But it has to be pitch black.”
“Ok.” I got out of bed, put on a robe and turned off the hall lights so no light could get in. I drew the blinds all the way and closed and locked the door. I then took off the remaining clothing of mine.
“Blakey, don’t judge me.”
“I won’t darling.”
I helped her out of her shorts, tights and panties and then moved to remove her shirt.
“I want to leave this on.”
“But its dark, you don;t have anything to hide here.”
“Yes but… I don’t know.”
“Tori, this is it. We’re doing it all… please?”
“Alright, but don’t touch too much.”
She undid her bra herself, and then removed her long sleeve black shirt. I brought myself on top of her and licked her cute little jewish nose.
“Blakey…”
“Yes lover?”
“I’m a little scared”
“You can tell me to stop whenever.”
“Promise?”
“Of course my love.”
I grabbed a condom off of my nightstand and put it on. I moved back over her and put my arms back on her shoulders. There were clear scars there I could feel. I could here her whimper very slightly; she tried to hide it.
“Just… put it in.”
I rubbed the tip of my penis against her soaking wet vagina. She smelled wonderful, like lilac groves with a hint of sorrow. I could smell her missing father, the boys who abused her, the failure her mom thought she was and the confusion she faced when she looked in the mirror. I slid myself in and she moaned like a prayer to a lost loved one in hopes that they’ll find peace and maybe even forgiveness that they didn’t quite deserve.
“Go slowly, its my first real time.” Referencing the fact that this was the first time she’s had sex without it being rape.
“Of course.”
“Kiss me like you love me.”
“Thats what I’ve been doing all night.” and at that, her whole body convoluted in a fit of ecstasy that felt like a vice grip on my penis.
I slid myself in and out of her; her head fell back against my pillow. Her defenses fell, and so I ran my hands up and down her body.
Her breasts were scarred. Her arms were scarred, her chest and stomach and legs and thighs and even her back, all covered with deep, thin and perfectly straight reminders of the lacerations that have occurred on her pristine thin body.
“I love you, all of you.” I told her.
“I don’t know…” She said between moaning.”
“Stay with me. We can be happy…”
“Don’t ruin this. Use me.” Our tears mixed as our bodies did.
***
I came after about 15 minutes. She never did; I tried going down on her but she pushed my face away.
“I don’t want you to see me up close like that.” She told me when I tried.
***
We laid next to each other naked for about ten minutes after we finished.
“What did you think of that Tori?”
“It was… interesting.”
She didn’t speak much. She just rested her head on my chest.
“I need to use the bathroom though. Can I use your robe?”
“Of course.”
***
10 minuets go by and I start to worry about her. I knock on the bathroom door and ask how shes doing.
“I’ll be out in a minute!”
“Ok, just want to see if you’re ok.”
I come back 5 minutes later. She was crying in the bathroom.
“Tori, open up, let me help you.”
“No! I need to be alone!”
I grab the spare key for the bathroom mortise lock and open it up. She layed there on the floor, naked and covered in blood.
“Oh god, Tori! What the hell?”
“I couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t handle it Blake! I’m sorry! But just let me die…”
“I’m not going to let you die god damn it. Let me get you some clothes.”
I grabbed some paper towels and her underwear, shorts and her shirt. The panties were black with little red bats on them, of course. She didn’t cut herself very deep, just superficial with a razor blade of Micheal’s she tore apart. She was beautiful naked on my floor… her body was so soft and yet her skin looked like old tree bark with its lines and scars up and down all of it. I hated to even redress her but I knew I had to.
I used the paper towels to stop most of the bleeding on her arms and put her in clothes, pulling up the sleeves of her shirt. I grabbed her boots and put them on her and drug her over to walgreens. We bought neo sporin and gauze wrap. I patched her up.
***
We cuddled for a bit afterwards but she hardly spoke. The car ride was an hour long but she stayed quiet again.
“Blake, I’m sorry.” She said as I pulled up to her house.
“Its fine, I know its hard being a cutter.”
“No, I mean, we can’t be together.”
“Are you sure? I mean, we can work on it…”
“No, this just isn’t for me.” She got out of the car.
“Wait!” I turned off the car and ran to her.
“Think on it, at least?” I asked her
We walked to her front door.
“I mean, lover, this is the only real “date” you’ve been on. I took you out for drinks, and then we pretended to be adults.” I said with a smile.
“And I’d love to meet your mom after this!” I joked.
“I don’t know Blake. Its hard. I’m not sure how I feel.”
“Its ok.” We got to the front door. I grabbed both of her hands.
“I love you Tori.” I said, moving in to kiss her. She kissed me.
“I know… but, I don’t love you. I don’t know if I can love anyone.”
“Ok…”
“Don’t cry for me Blake. Almost any girl is better for you than me…”
She opened the door and went inside. That was the last time I ever saw my little vampire Tori.
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/62yo0h/monrovia_darling_child_vampire_asexual_girl_who_i
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