How I fixed myself by destroying myself [MF] [cheating] [new beginning]

I posted this on a pervious account but I wanted to rewrite it. It has been on my mind. A recent post made me think about what happened in a different light. Names have been changed.

Some history: I started having sex at a young age. As a guy it was a dream come true. But I had never been able to cum from sex. Gigantic hit to my self-esteem and confidence. It was great for whoever I was having sex with because I could last forever. It just sucked for me because I would always just be left still hard as a rock needing to explode.

This story takes place 5 years ago. I was in my school working on my degree. At the time I was really lonely. I had been single for a while. I tried real hard to find someone to be with. All the wrong reasons; just wanted to hold a girls hand, sex would be nice, someone to talk to. Totally looking for the physical needs never really the true emotional needs.

After a while of playing the field and striking out all over the place my friends girlfriend at the time sets me up with her friend. Things went well. We started dating, later finding out that she felt I pressured into the whole thing, but at the time I was happy.

We started having sex almost right away. Sort of happened. It was good. Sadly, my same problem still existed. We would have sex, she would get off but I would never. It annoyed her a lot. The whole issue had created major problems within the relationship. We would argue about it a lot. So we came up with a plan to fix it. No sex or beating off for 2 weeks. Now at the time I was a 20 year old guy who has been beating off almost daily for years. So it was a tall order.

Well I lasted a week…..

A little bit before starting the 2 weeks of no sex and no beating off I started talking to an old friend, Jane. Jane and I had some history. We had gone to the same high school and she was a year younger than I was. I wouldn’t say we were good friends. But we talked once in a while. We shared some friends outside of school as well. At point point during high school we did hook up but it was just a silly make-out session so nothing major.

When we started talking again, just before the no sex, no beating off plan. She was going through a similar thing with her boyfriend. She told me that her boyfriend would withhold sex from her for weeks and months on end. It was driving her crazy. She would masturbate herself but it just wasn’t the same as someone else doing it or sex. I told Jane that my gf and I were having issues. Told her about my problem and how much it bothered me. We sort of supported each other in a sense.

But quickly the support turned to flirting and teasing. We would text all the time. Telling the other what we wanted someone, it was implied it was the other, to do to us. It was an extremely slippery slope.

One morning it boiled over. At this point I had not cummed in a week. At the time the longest I had gone without cumming. Not only were my balls aching I felt like an animal that just needed to release. I was hornier than I had ever been in my life.

I can’t remember who initiated it. I think it was Jane who texted saying she was wet and needed to cum. She was going through the same thing I was going through. This is when I stopped thinking with my head and started only thinking with my dick.

We both agreed we needed to get off. But we knew we couldn’t just take care of ourselves. She couldn’t be in control of her cumming, she needed someone else to take control. Same thing for me. I had only ever been able to make myself cum, no one has ever been able to make me cum. We hatched a plan where the other person would get the other person to cum but we wouldn’t have sex. Just get the other person off to help them out, no fucking. In our minds that wouldn’t be cheating. Jane would give me a handjob and I would just finger her. No biggie, right?

So I get up and put on some gym shorts and hop in my car. Jane texted me her address. Before getting there I texted her telling her to be in her underwear in a rob when she answers the door. Jane was a model, still is actually, she was in pretty good shape. She is about 5’8″, 19 at the time, with dark brown hair that went past her shoulders, about 110 pounds. She was slim but not a rail. She had an A cup at the time, she has since had a boob job. She also had a very faint tan like she hadn’t been to the beach in a few months.

I parked and walk up to her door. The door opens ajar while I’m walking up to it. Jane pops here head out. I can see she did exactly as I had requested, she was in a long silk robe wearing only her underwear. I open the outside storm door and just look at her. She is smoking hot. I say “I want to slip your thong off.”

She bashfully replies “No not here, get inside.” I refuse, I lean in slip my two thumbs under the thin fabric of her thong and slide it down her long smooth legs. She didn’t stop me at all. Once at her feet she gracefully steps of it. I pick it up and hand it to her. She quickly stuffs it into the pocket of her robe. I get a nice view of her nearly completely naked body for a second.

Jane grabs my hand and leads me inside. She leads me through her house up to her room. I am in tow with raging hard on sticking through my shorts. Once in her room she drops her robe and takes off her bra. I see her fully naked now. I am just floored. Jane’s body it amazing. I take my shirt off and while it’s over my head she is pulling my shorts and boxers off.

I am 5’11”, 20 at the time, short brown hair, skinny with a little bit of muscle. Honestly I can’t gain weight even if I try. My dick is 6.5″ with above average girth. I am not trying to be modest when I say I am not impressed with it. I blame porn for that.

I get fully naked. My hand goes to my dick. I had to stroke it. I am just leaking pre-cum from all the excitement. Jane does the same with her hand on her clit. We get into her bed. We lay next to each other head to feet, her head at the top of the bed and mine at the bottom.

Slowly like we begin to touch each other. My fingers make there way up her thigh. I can see her wetness on her inner thighs. She is completely shaved with two nice tiny puffy lips. I slip a finger effortless into her. She softly moans, her legs spreading a little wider.

While I am doing this her hand wraps around my dick. She slowly starts to stroke me starting at the tip going down to the base. She twists her wrists as she goes down. Jane definitely knew what she was doing. I was in heaven.

With waves of pleasure flowing over me I get bolds. I ask “Could you suck on it?” Jane just slyly smiles at me and takes the tip in her mouth. She sucks on it for a second, just to get it more wet, then goes all the way down. I am going crazy. My gf would never give me head. I had never experienced anything like what Jane as doing right then.

I slip a second finger in her. Her juices are flowing down my hand. Her hips are moving with my hand. I start doing the come hither motion to hit her g-spot. She starts to moan more while my dick is in her mouth. The vibrations feel amazing. We get more into it as we go getting a little bit more rough with each other. I am nearly picking her up with my hand while she is drooling all over my dick.

Without warning a switch flips off in my head. Some animal has been awakened. I get up pulling my dick and hand out of her. I grab her by her hips and throw her to the other side of the bed. Her eyes were wide with shock. She is stunned. She didn’t know what I was doing, neither did I to be honest. I have no idea what came over me.

I grab her legs and get on top of her placing a leg over my shoulders. She is still stunned. I grab my dick and line it up with her soaking pussy. Then I just plunge into her, all the way down the hilt. She was not expecting that at all. Breathlessly she explains “Oh my god! You are so big! No one has been this deep in me! Please slow down!!”

Hearing a girl say that to you, especially after you have for years thought you sucked at sex and didn’t have a great dick, is a incredible confidence booster.

I slow down. Just doing slow and steady strokes. I am looking down at my dick sliding in and out out of her and glancing up at her face. Her eyes are closed with her mouth slightly open, when I would go in all the way she would wince just ever so slightly. Never pushing away. She was loving it. I was loving it. I just kept going.

I would like to think it lasted for a good amount of time. But I know it was only minutes. Her pussy was so tight and warm. It was something I had never felt before. Slowly something stir inside of me. Down in my loins. It was a tingle that originated deep inside me and would radiate up to my tip. I started to get stronger.

This was a new sensation that I had never felt before. I knew what it must mean though. I went as long as I dared, I had not even thought about bringing a condom, yet alone putting it on. I pulled out at the last possible second. Jane opened her legs wind know what was happening. I put my hand on my dick, stroke one time, then ropes of cum onto her stomach.

I was ecstatic! I had finally cummed from sex! I’m not broken anymore!

But the euphoria only last a second. My brain switched back on. My blood ran cold. FUCK! I really fucked up. I was in shock for a second. Jane brought me out of it. She asked “Could you hand me that towel?” She was still on her back with her legs spread and still in the air. She did not want the cum dripping off of her onto her bed. I grabbed it and handed it over to her. She cleaned herself up. She was quiet.

After a minute of us sitting there she asks “That was really good. It felt amazing. I have never had anyone that big before.”

I mumbled a response “Yeah.” I felt like shit. I had never thought I would ever cheat on anyone but here I am sitting naked next to a naked girl, her still sticky from my cum.

She sheepishly asks me “Could you finish me off? I feel bad for asking…you got me so close! It you kept going for another few seconds I would have cummed with you. But I am glad you didn’t cum in me. I’m not on birth control.”

I mumble “Yeah sure.” She scoots herself back to where she was before I threw her around. Spread her legs open. I slip a finger in her freshly fucked pussy, then a second one. Within a minute she is moaning. Another minute she finally cums.

I get up and ask to use the bathroom. Still naked I look at myself in the mirror. My mind is racing a mile a minute. Is she going to get pregnant? Can I keep this a secret? Can my gf and I survive this?

I get dressed while she dresses for work. Someone is coming to pick her up soon. She tells me to wait until the car goes down the street before I leave and lock the door behind me. I do so and get in my car. I knew there was no way to keep this a secret from my gf. Deep down I knew that it meant we were over too but I wasn’t admitting it then.

I texted my gf while I was leaving. I was a coward though and made up a lie. Said that Jane jumped on me and it was over before I could react. We broke up a few months later. Our relationship was on the rocks before it happened anyway. She told me about all the bad things I had done within the relationship. It was for the best that it ended. The whole time I wanted her back. I had it in my mind that I could make it up to her and that I owed it to her to fix it. Thinking back on it I should have ended before I had even gone over there.

I consider this the lowest point of my life. But from there everything turned around. There is a happy ending I guess. Never heard from that gf ever again. I check her Facebook every once in a while. I spent a lot of time focusing on myself. My life has done turned around since then.

My little cumming problem is not an issue anymore. After the time with Jane I would cum regularly from sex. My gf at the time credits herself for fixing it, I later told her she didn’t.

I still hate myself for cheating. I do not think it is ever the answer. If I had a chance to go back and change anything would I? Would I stop myself? No. It happened for a reason. I feel awful that I hurt someone in the process. But I would not have stopped myself. In my life it had to happen. I may hate cheating but this instance it was what was needed for me to get where I am today.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/5klm6v/how_i_fixed_myself_by_destroying_myself_mf