It was a long, disgusting day. You know the usual shit married people get into. In this case it was the wife looking to corner the husband. Turned out he was giving blowjobs at a glory hole somewhere in East L.A.
My apartment building has no fucking parking lot. And they sweep the street on Tuesdays so if your car ain’t outta there by 8 am, you get a fat ticket and a fatter fine slapped on your windshield by a fat, greasy parking cop, with a stupid ego the size of Montana and a brain to match the size of a pinhead.
The car gets parked 3 blocks away at a parking lot where you get charged up to 30 bucks a day to stash your beater. Worse part is, you have to load all your crap into a rollerboard and shlepp it on down to your crib, cuz the freakazoids hanging out near the lot will smash your windshield for the pocket change in the ashtray.
As I’m hauling my crap on to that wreck we call a home, likely to my own cheating wife, a phone rings nearby. “Lo and behold! Do I hear a pay phone?” A once ubiquitous object, scurrilously close to the curb, and within earshot of a bus stop any bus stop, this phone happened to be farther back.
Its probably the only fucking payphone in L.A. that actually sits inside a real phone booth. Like the kind you get into and close the door and have a real private convo with whoever you’re speaking with.
It kept ringing and ringing. So being the happy-go-lucky moron just passing by, I walked in and answered.
It was a woman’s voice. Not to sound cliche’, but hey, she sounded like sex dripping with more sex, like she was wet all over the phone. “Hello there? May I assist you somehow?”
“I’ve been watching you. I can see you from my apartment. Why don’t you come up and fuck the living shit out of me. 3C. You’ve got 5 minutes.”
Well I was thinking with my dick not my brain, which was about 3/4ths Swiss cheese by now anyway. “What could possibly go wrong?” I asked myself. Then the response was, “Who the fuck cares!” I was tired of begging for sex from that slut I married. I shoulda known strippers make shitty wives. But hey, it was Vegas and I was drunk, she was drunk, only what happened there moved to L.A. with me.
A guy never moved so swiftly, jay-walking across a busy street, 7 lanes wide, to get to the other side and get laid. I mean come on! This only happens in the movies, right?
So to get to the meat rather than the mashed potatoes, I dragged my shit up three flights of stairs to get to this honeypot caller and satisfy my dick and my curiosity. I mean a guy with blue balls is definitely hurting for a good bang-fest.
The door was ajar. I knock, and a sultry voice beckoned me in. Like what the fuck does the word “beckon” really mean? To me at that moment, “beckon” meant “cum all over that bitch’s insides.”
I slowly enter the apartment, and its fucking dark. Real dark, except for the lamp at the end of the hall with the cliche red doily over it. You got to ask, “Who the fuck uses doilies in this day and age?” No matter, she sounded like sex ala carte. You pick, she satisfies your dick. In other words, I didn’t care at that very moment.
“Shut the door big boy. I’ve got a surprise for you.” Yeah. Right. I always get these “surprises”, like dog shit on my shoes, or some drunk pissing on me through some bushes near the sidewalk at the parking lot.
Cautiously, a thumbed the lock button off my holster, and hand at the ready. Who knows what’s waiting. I wanna get laid, not dead. Dead I got already … like in a dead bedroom with a stripper wife who looks like a million bucks and’ll fuck anybody but me.
So I walked into the bedroom, expecting an army, and all I got was a sex kitten wearing see through black panties and bra, and some kinda neglige’ over it. The most striking part of this pose laying there on the bed with her hand over her pussy was the red leather blindfold she was wearing, hot looking red lipstick, and hot, red high heeled shoes. Gee they didn’t even look like they’d been worn. Their soles were nice and clean, shiny, like new.
She moaned, “Tie me up and fuck me! The ropes are in the dresser.”
I walked over to the dresser, opened the drawer, and sure as shit, there was rope in there. Yeah, I got it out.
I grabbed her hands and tied each one to the bedposts. Then I tied her knees under the bed and spread her nice and wide, and then tied her ankles down too.
“Aren’t you going to fuck me? Tear my clothes off. I don’t need them. Go ahead. Just do it and fuck my brains out! No kissing, no cuddling, fuck me raw and hard you bastard!”
What’s a guy to do? I mean here I got a chickee tied down, five ways to sundown, and I’m ripping delicates off of her like peeling a frail onion, only these ain’t tears from onion juice, they’re tears of utter, fucking joy!
I went to work fast. I had my clothes on the floor might quick. For a fleeting second I thought “Why take my shoes and socks off?” Nah I got naked as a guy can get short of turning himself inside out through his asshole.
So I get to work. She had the wettest warmest, tightest pussy I’d fucked in a decade. I mean I surprised myself. My cock was so fucking hard I don’t even remember it getting this hard this fast since I was 13.
She could squeeze down on a guy’s dick like a pair of vice grips. This woman had some muscles and she knew how to use them.
I came after about 5 minutes of shafting her, and I was still hard and going for seconds. She just about stopped me mid fuck and told me to fuck her ass. I pulled out with my cum and her pussy juice all over it, and rammed it into her asshole while playing with her clit. After 10 minutes of shooting spit down there to keep it lubed and squeegieing some out of her pussy, she started to buck like a bronco. She tightened down on my cock so hard I thought she was gonna break it off!
I came in her ass like the stupid, happy mutherfucker I was. We both shrieked in pain and joy at the same time.
I almost went flaccid, but for all the sexual denial I’d gotten in the past year, I was like I said hornier than when I was 13.
After she calmed down she begged me to go down on her. Now for most guys, going down on a chick after you’ve spooged her pussy and ass, would be a downer. But hell I was horny!
Call it cumlingus. I went down on her and got her jiz, my jiz and our jiz all over my piggie little face. I ate her out like she was wholeseome apple pie. She came three times while I was eating her, and fingering her pussy, 2 or 3 digits at a time. More juice came out of her. I was surprised she wasn’t thirsty at that point.
She told me to go over to the sink and wash my dick off so I could fuck her good one last time. So I went over, grabbed a towel, some soap and water and washed Johnson off real good. Nice and clean. Then went over and fucked her pussy which by now was hot, swollen and throbbing. After about 2 minutes she came and squeezed down on me, draining the last drop of semen I had in me.
After all was said and done I untied her, and went to go get dressed.
She takes her blindfold off and says, “You’re not Harry. What kinda fucking creep walks into a woman’s apartment and fucks her like that?”
I laughed, “Hey sugar, they call her my 2nd wife.”
Sure as shit she dumped Harry, I dumped my piece of shit stripper wife, and now I got a hot date every night. Oh, by the way, she’s got free parking at her apartment building. I like that too. I still answer that phone every night, just the way she likes it. Only now she doesn’t wear a blindfold until after she confirms its me coming in the door.
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/5jobfw/mf_true_private_detective