“An Ode to You” Poem [Written for a Female Audience][Rom][Bd?](Seeking Criticism)

I wrote this for a user in Dirty Pen Pals who wanted a poem in order to “evaluate” potential candidates. The user wanted something “cute, sexy, and erotic,” and I tried to hit all three bases (yes, pun intended). Would you mind having a look and telling me what you think?

Narrator is male, writing for a female audience. I used the code formatting so the spacing would work as intended.

I’d appreciate any thoughts or comments. Thanks.

From there we came,
Whence we came,
Thus we came, together,
I came to get you,
For now and to come,
Never was forever better.

Here is a preposition:
To come, on you, in you, with you,
Twisting words in the hope
We’ll read and write about how
We’ll wreathe and writhe about.
A passionate oath binds us both
And you will be bound,
Arms, wrists, feet, tied: rope
Wrapped around the bedposts,
Wrapped around you,
Wrapped around me.

You are mine and I am you — I forgot where you end and I begin.

In our kinked, kinky math,
One and one make one,
Two bodies wrapped together in carnality,
Three eternities pass in a moment,
For every moment, an eternity
I kiss your lips, and, I kiss your lips.

I love the way you look tonight.
A sight for worn eyes,
Your naked body a vision yet more elegant
Making coarse and cliche Coco’s pedigree.
You are the only channel I want to watch.
The ‘or’ is always better, option D or
E from a choice of A, B, and C.
Better to put an ‘other’ in your box,
Instead of standard self-reporting.
Better to make our own canvas
Than draw in the lines.
We’ll forge something new to hold together,
Our hands interlaced, twined like leaves in a book.
My red imprint on your back page tells a history of us.

Do I make you my mistress or my Lady?
Am I your King or your serf?
Perhaps, we’re both:
I your knight to command tonight
You my lady, mine to have.
I kneel even as you kneel before me,
Every inch of me burning,
Aching,
For you.

I stand ready at your gate, arms wide.
Lower your guard, O beauty, and let me come inside.
Let me tear asunder your garments and tatter them to shreds
Let me wander over your body with my lips and tongue,
I need to touch, to feel, to douse this towering inferno in your embrace
(let’s stop, drop, and roll around the bed
I shall give you my heart. will you give me your head?)
Let’s while away for a while this late hour,
And while the silence tries to conquer,
Shatter it with the music of orgasmic bliss.
We’ll blaspheme,
Shout vanities to the ceiling,
Like my name echoing off your lips.
Your body, my rite,
Your pleasure, my right.

I lay claim to you,
And thrusting my pole deep,
I claim you laid.

Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/5ge5n4/an_ode_to_you_poem_written_for_a_female