Pulling a girl in 30 seconds. First story ever! [M27, F~22]

Saturday was going to be a day of days. The plan was to get shit done: clean my apartment, visit a tattoo artist, go swoon over some adorable cuties. Guess what I accomplished?!

Jack shit.

That morning I spent the first 5 hours masturbating (not joking). My sex drive has been ludicrous the last two months. I even stopped taking Zinc.

Pro Tip #1: If you have low sex drive, take a Zinc supplement (or eat oysters). Zinc is used in sperm production, will make you shoot fatter loads, and makes you horny.

I was glued to the depravity on my screen and the moans emanating from my laptop speakers. In between the lurid scenes and ejaculations, I’d browse Instagram for tattoo inspiration as I was starting to reconsider my original idea.

My buddy tried getting me out to Oktoberfest, but I decided to not go. I did not want to spend half my day and then my entire night drinking and talking to drunkies. There’s only so much durr hurr hurr conversation I can handle without wanting to have something more interesting to discuss.

Anyway, my mind was stuck in an alternate dimension and I realized I haven’t eaten in 6 or 7 hours. I decided to grab dinner and watch a movie.

I decided to watch a psychological thriller. I hate psychological thrillers. Why the fuck did I make this decision? They put me in a bad mood. I can watch blood spout out of the neck, stomachs be disemboweled, and bones shatter without feeling squeamish; but psychological thrillers make shit real. No thanks homie, I’ll stick to Vincent Vega blowing Marvin’s brains out all over the back seat.

To make things worse, I then cracked the perc on my expensive bong while cleaning it. Now I have to replace the whole thing. Shortly after, my head began throbbing like crazy. I was not a happy camper.

What’s the quickest way to a man’s heart? Through his chest with a knife. Life had just shanked me in the chest and ripped my heart out.

I was ready to resign to my bed and wither away into the night. But I summoned enough energy to go for a walk. The cool, crisp evening air always energizes me. The walk lifted my spirits a tad. A final push from my buddy saying he was heading to the bars got me moving.

My mood was still shit, so I decided I would just go socialize and not game. My plan was to be normal and have normal conversations.

Pro Tip #2: If you ever feel like not going/doing something, just remember that you can always leave at any time! This one reminder has gotten me out of the house so many times!

I arrived close to midnight. All I wanted to do was socialize, make friends, and make people feel good. I remembered reading How to Win Friends and Influence People and other books on charisma and remembered that people will be drawn to you if you make them feel good. I just wanted to spread some positive emotions and go home.

I have been taking theanine, which combined with my already somber mood and the power of being extroverted to create a surprisingly chill demeanor in me. Everyone I spoke to, I left better off than when I found them. A few interaction highlights:

1) Approached a group of girls by locking eyes with one of them, walking up, giving a gentle squeeze on her arm to get her attention, pausing slightly then saying, “I love you, please don’t leave me. I promise I can change” and bringing her in her for a hug.
Pro Tip #3: Never invade a woman’s personal space when first meeting, always bring them into your space.
The mother duck, a gorgeous blonde with glowing skin and red lipstick on, says, “We all have boyfriends.” In one ear out the other. The brunette girl to my left mean mugs me and asks, “Who are you?”

I look right at her, “Hi, I’m the next asshole of the night. Who are you?” Mother duck chimes in with laughter and, “okay that’s a pretty good line.” Damn fucking straight it is, but it’s only good because I’m uber relaxed. The brunette stares at me with stars in her eyes.

My buddy comes in and we group hug everyone. The brunette is now asking me questions. I hunker down by moving over to the stool nearby. I do this mostly because I want to move around as little as possible.

Eventually my buddy disappears! What fuck dude?! He’s not the type to do that so I’m a little confused. Now the mother duck chimes in again, “we all have boyfriends.” Yes, you already told me that. I absolutely loathe when people repeat themselves, it’s my top pet peeve. Also, I’m not interested in taking the brunette home I legit just want to be friends.

I ignore and keep chatting. Eventually mother duck pulls the brunette over, so I stand up and leave. The brunette looks like her entire life has been torn away from her. Some girls just need to stop clam jamming their friends.

2) I’m standing next to a claw machine that has sex toys and other raunchy shit in it. I girl is walking by and I say, “Hey, what are you gonna win?” She responds, “The big black 12 inch dildo.” This thing looks like fucking Hulk’s arm. I say, “Sweet, I’ll win the butt plug and we’ll just DP you.” The vibe is totally normal and chill… did I really just get away with saying that?

Yes I did because I was chill and calibrated! She brought up a sexual topic first so I adjusted to her personality. Pro Tip #3: Be normal and let the girl show you how to interact with her.

We play claw machine then pinball and I try to figure out logistics. Not good. I’m also not super attracted to her so I just leave without getting a number. I was content with spreading some fun vibes.

Bars start closing, but I decide to stay out as late as possible and see what happens. Eventually, I’m ready to head home but want to make a quick stop at an afterhours gay bar flying solo.
As I’m crossing the street, I spot a girl I noticed earlier in the bar (but was talking to other people at the time). She was short, had delicious milky white skin that looked perfect for a bite mark, pinkish hair, and an interesting style. She was wearing a flowery romper, which I fucking love on girls.

She’s walking down the street from my side drinking as she walks. I’m already halfway through the crosswalk but look back and say, “Drinking in the middle of the street? I like your style” and then follow up with, “Where’s mine? You didn’t bring me one?”
She holds out her drink for me. I flip around, walk back, lean my head back and she pours it in my mouth.

I stand back up and notice the group of people she was with has already crossed. I realize they were randoms and not friends.
I grab her hand immediately, she grabs back, and we start crossing the street, “Come on, let’s go to the gay bar.” She replies she’d rather go to another place. It’s been about 30 seconds. Cool, we take about 10 steps towards the place and it’s closed.

“Adventure, let’s go chill in the park!” “Sounds fun!” she says. We’re still holding hands, but now I interlace the fingers. Walking to the park, we stop in a dark corner and make out. On the walk, we talk about normal stuff and build a connection.

We sit down in the park and talk and make out. Things start moving forward and she gets cute and anxious. It’s adorable, she’s adorable. She says she wants to head home, I agree and tell her she should go. She doesn’t budge, but makes out with me more heavily instead.

I pull down her romper and bra a little and start licking and sucking on her nipples. She moans harder. They aren’t super erect, but have a nice peach color to them. Then, I grab her hand and press it up against the bulging cock in my jeans. She lets out a sigh of pleasure.

She says she wants to go home again… there’s some dude not too far away smoking a cigarette. I say okay. She doesn’t move. I pull her up and we start walking back. I see a secluded area behind some bushes and pull her over. We start making out again with bushes on one side and a cement wall on the other. I tell her to stop turning me on and that she’s evil. She giggles. Cute giggle.

I start dirty talking in Russian into her ear as she’s rubbing my veiny cock, which I’ve already pulled out of my pants. Her breathing gets heavier, she presses harder into my body.
I tell her I want to taste her. I ask, “Do you want me to taste you?” She says yes very excitedly. “Tell me you want me to taste you.” She says, “I want you to taste me.” Now she’s getting way more aggressive with me. I fear for my safety.

I flip her up against the cold cement wall and we start pulling her tights down. There’s a problem, the fucking romper is keeping us from pulling the tights all the way down. Rompers… double edged swords.

She has additional layers of panties and other pieces of clothing. I get annoyed, this shit is more difficult than doing a rubiks cube underwater. Eventually, she sits down in the dirt and pulls everything off herself while I take a moment to calm my tits. Then she just lays down in the dirt. Hahaha wtf? Like I said before, I like your style ;) I try to lay out her denim jacket under her so that she gets a little coverage from the ground.

I go down on her and start gently gliding my tongue along the upper slit of her pussy, hitting the clit as I go. She has a slight taste, but not too much. I shove my long index and middle fingers inside her warm, silky pussy. I slide my fingers up and down along her drenched inside wall. I notice her glasses have fogged up.

I grab a condom, rip it open with my teeth, and roll it down my pulsating hungry cock. I crawl up so we’re face to face, tell her to get ready, then thrust my third leg inside her. Most of her clean, smooth naked body is in the dirt.

I oblige her desire to be dirty and pound her harder into the brown earth below us. Her tits are massive and I watch them shake as I drag her back and forth across the ground with my sword. We hear voices as a group of people walk by a few feet away from us, on the other side of the bushes. We quiet down but don’t stop.

…as we’re getting dressed and she puts on her straight jacket outfit, I pull some of the leaves out of her hair that she collected from the ground. As we stand up, I notice an unoccupied mattress two feet above her head. A homeless guy must sleep there. I think how funny it would be if he was there the hole time! We exchange hugs and kisses and part ways.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/55ecxa/pulling_a_girl_in_30_seconds_first_story_ever_m27