Two year anniversary without sex – avoided!! [m/f]

Originally posted on /r/sexover30 — someone suggested that it would fit nicely in this sub too =) I hope ya’ll enjoy:

So, as all of the regulars from /r/sexover30 will know, I left my ex of 15 years in April of 2015. For those that don’t know: Dead bedroom. Little empathy from the ex and very little effort on his part to please me in or out of bed. Long story. Suffice to say, the last time we had sex was for my birthday in the beginning of Sept of 2014.

My 2 year anniversary for not having had sex (with anyone but myself) was looming. I’ll be honest and say it was freaking depressing as hell. I honestly didn’t think I could catch a person’s attention. I didn’t think anyone would want me. The ex didn’t – and he wasn’t exactly a paragon of a man. He made sure, in a ton of subtle ways (and not so subtle), that I knew exactly where I stood with him. Far, far less than his ideal.

When I joined reddit, and subbed to SO30, 3-4 months ago, my main goal was to see how other relationships worked. How sex between others worked. How people interacted – outside of my ex-induced isolation bubble. To learn as much as possible before I decided to step out into the dating pool or try to find a FWB.

Learning what I have from the sub has been invaluable. In learning how it was for others I was able to pinpoint more of what I DID want. And, from there, I have gained so many awesome friends. I can’t say enough about that. It’s been beyond awesome to have friendship connections again.

So, I’ve been encouraged, on the sub, and from my friends, that I just need to get out there. DL Tinder and start looking. Just, pick someone nice and interesting and go for it.

The thought of putting myself out there was terrifying. What if I learned the ex was right all along?

Even the thought of DLing Tinder gave me fits of anxiety, but incessant yearning for sex and at least a semi-connection with someone pushed me into doing so. Plus, I don’t think it was fair to myself to NOT do it, just because I was scared of rejection.

So, through the terror, I managed to work myself up to it and I finally took the plunge. And… I got matches. Which… you know, surprised me. And then I got a few messages even. From … not even just one person.
Color me shocked…

So, I texted back and forth a bit and settled on two guys as my most likely prospects. One eventually proved to be far more interested than the other in pursing me (or at least quicker) so a phone number was given… and some time on the phone was spent just talking normal topics.

He was very sweet. And I felt comfortable taking the chance on meeting him and maybe seeing if I could get him in my bed should the chemistry be there. So we set a date and met up on Tuesday evening. :blushes:

I totally had my way with him. Or he had his way with me. Either way… there was sex. And quite a bit of it. So, like 3 hours of naked time.

It was fucking AWESOME.

I’m not normally one to move so quickly, really. But gawd, I just had so much need built up. He was cute, sweet, interested, and available. So, yeah. I showed him my apartment, which took like 30 seconds cuz it’s just a one bedroom. And I’m standing there all awkward like and he sits on my bed and I sit next to him and then he’s in my space and he’s kissing me… and I’m like shit, shit, shit, omg *grooooan* sooooo good.

Then he’s on top of me and grinding into me I’m groaning and gasping just from that. It was so fucking glorious to have another person on top of me, pinning me to the bed, kissing me with want and intent. I could feel his hardness against me. I was just so worked up. I did have a small orgasm just from this. Which… I don’t think has ever happened. But, to be fair… I was fucking primed for it, you know? Just guh. So good.

Then he executes like the smoothest move ever and rolls over and I’m on top of him. You have to understand, I’m like 315 lbs (recently lost 58! Go me!) so… that’s like never happened before, *ever*.

So, I’m on top and kissing him and lean back and take off my shirt and then ask him if he wants my bra on or off. He kind of looks at me like I’m a bit insane and is like “Off.” In the tone of “duh!” (LOL!) So, off it goes. Then his hands are on my breasts and then my breasts are in his mouth and… I’m not sure what happens next, but then I’m on my back and tugging at my pants like zomg get these OFF.

And then he’s standing and taking off his clothes, and boxers still on, is on top of me again. There’s more groping and kissing and awesome stuff. My hips practically fly off the bed when his hand covers my pussy. He kind of laughs a bit, surprised at my reaction, I think. But he doesn’t give me time to say it’s been so long (too long) before his fingers are finding me and I’m groaning. I know I have at least one orgasm, maybe two. I really can’t recall, I’m in a fog of just…pleasure and satisfaction and want and need and fuck me, fuck me, fuck me! Then I recall he’s in between my legs again and we’re kissing. I’m holding his hardness in my hand, through his boxers, impatient to have him, see him, taste him.

I kind of don’t remember what happens next, but then he’s standing again and teasing me about whether I want his boxers off or not and I’m like, YES! So, I crawl off the bed and get on my knees in front of him and tug them off. My hands are everywhere, thighs, ass, belly, while my mouth takes him in. I savor it because it’s been a very long time since I’ve given oral and I LOVE do to it. He smells like clean skin and man and arousal. I’ve missed it. Feeling his hardness glide along my tongue into the back of my throat. Hearing him groan and sigh as I lavish attention on his cock. *Jesus*. His hands on my head – a bit more insistent than I’d have liked, but I only had to tug on them once to get him to be gentle with them.

I’ll be honest, I really craved to just get him off that way. I miss it. Cum on my tongue. The satisfying feeling of knowing my skills took someone from zero to ohmyfuckinggod-I’m-cumming! There’s really nothing else like it. But, tests, and safety – so I didn’t … and really oral without a condom is already risky because of precum. But, he smelled great and he tasted great and visually there were no warning signs of any issues. Anyway, I think I got him pretty close to the edge. And he did say “omg that felt so good” and of course, there was a lot of moaning. Also I remembered to include that all important eye contact thing that was discussed in the BJ thread last month? 3 weeks ago? I can’t remember.

Then he asked if I wanted to put the condom on and I’m like — shit I haven’t done that in like 15 years… but okay! So I take it out of the package and put it on without too much of a virginesque vibe (I hope).

Then he’s back on top of me and in me and it’s so good. So damn good to have someone seeking their pleasure within my body. So good to have him on top, pinning me, and thrusting against me. I can tell he’s near and I say: yes yes, get it!

I don’t cum from the penetration – at least I don’t think I did. It felt really fucking good though. If I didn’t cum, I really don’t care. He finds his release and is careful with the condom on withdraw. Asks for the trash and disposes of it, then comes back and crawls between my thighs, looking up at me.

I have issues w/ receiving oral – I’ve told him about it (it’s due to my past). But, he’s visually asking: “this okay?” and I’m like yes. And he does. And it’s good! I don’t feel a ton anxiety or too vulnerable (past what’s normal I don’t think)… and this is when I realize that I’ve never ONCE felt insecure about my body this whole time. He never once made me think he didn’t want this with me – or that he wasn’t willing to make me feel just as good as I wanted to make him feel.

And I haven’t had that since BEFORE the ex. 16-17 years maybe. I was a teenager and had no idea that it was a rare thing to be treasured.

And then he does something awesome down there … and I’m crying out for him to “eat me, eat me, yes!” and then I’m cumming and it’s *so fucking good*! Then he’s back up my body and kissing me – and I’m tingling everywhere.
Then there’s naked cuddle and talk time. He lets me stroke all over his body, just reveling in being able to touch him. I explore his tattoos. Maybe kiss a few ;) and he’s hard again.

There’s another condom and I’m on top. Now I’ll admit I struggled. Nothing quite worked the way I remembered it did. My belly after giving birth is a completely different shape than before the kid. The lower part is bigger and gets in the way more. And he wasn’t the same overall shape as my ex either. He had his own slight belly. It made mounting him feel unstable – like on a teeter-totter, and thus maneuverability was pretty difficult.

I ended up having to do an “Asian” cowgirl – like so: http://badgirlsbible.com/asian-cowgirl-sex-position. It’s fucking killer on the thighs, but yeah, I could do that. Hot fucking damn!! Sometimes I had to modify it and put one knee down, but otherwise… yeah. Eventually, it got to be too much burning in my thighs and I switched to a sidesaddle reverse cowgirl, which was MUCH easier. In retrospect, I should have just gone for that at the first – once realizing my tummy was an issue with his. In any case, all was well – :D

When my legs tired out, (half hour? Maybe longer? I’m not sure I didn’t keep track), I rolled off him and caught my breath, cuz dayum that was a work out. Also, orgasms. So. Win/win really.

We switch to doggy (and I think there was a condom change in here – because my dismount pulled it off). Anyway… yeah, this went pretty well. He made me cum – but I made him work for it, he said so. (LOL)

Then, we back off that and my face and hands are right by his hard cock – so I start stroking him with the condom on, which he requests off – so I quickly dispose of it. Then, he just lets me play with him. I’m not sure how long he let me. A *long* lovely time. There was lube. And me stroking him, then sucking him, and more lube, and then more of the same. Three or four times he’s crying out that he’s so close, so close. The first two times I back off, tease him. And he’s like “oh god, oh god”. Then, I try to take him all the way, but he doesn’t ever quite get there, despite me actively not backing off. It’s okay, though. It sure was fucking fun. Plus, he squirmed soooo nicely. He said I made his hands tingle.
I’m totally counting that as a win.

After I backed off, I grab his hand and tell him it’s his turn. And he does, he fingers me and honestly, my ex must have been a bumbling buffoon down there, cuz his touch is so light, yet I’m squirming and going nuts. He backs off and I beg him. He starts again and backs off and more begging. God, it was glorious! Eventually, he has me cumming again, gushing all over the light touch of his fingers. A couple times, I think.

I’m in such a pleased-hormone euphoria, that I’m content to back off the sex a bit and just naked cuddle for the last bit until I have to go pick up my kid from her dad’s. He never once tells me to quit petting and stoking all over him. And I don’t think my hands left his body at all, except when I had to support myself in cowgirl.

It was good. He was so sweet and accepting and just… I think really perfect for my first foray back into having sex again.

It was a good day.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/4waxsx/two_year_anniversary_without_sex_avoided_mf