To start, I may be self-conscious, or not the most confident girl. However, there is no shortage of men (and some women) that have chased after me. Although I can’t particularly see why that is, it must mean I’m at least somewhat attractive, right?
I’m 20, 5’5″, dirty blonde hair, 115 lbs, 32C, was told I had the best ass in my high school days before I had a boyfriend. I’ve been compared to Christie Brinkley in her younger years, even told that it’s creepy how much we look alike (although I can’t see it).
Anyway, my last relationship lasted about 2 years. In the beginning, the sex was crazy. He was my second (and last, so far) sexual partner and he showed me what I thought “good sex” would be. However, after our first year, his interest in me seemed to slowly decline.
He wanted to spend more time with a particular male friend of his, who he openly thought was gay but was apparently too afraid to ask him.
I noticed that on the nights he would hang out with this friend, his phone would miraculously die and he wouldn’t want to have sex for several days after. I thought I could be paranoid, but the signs got worse and worse.
No person wants to question their s/o’s attraction to them, but I stuck it out and took care of myself as often as I could. I wanted it to work with him, and cheating is completely out of the question for me. I invested in my first vibrator and dildo.
The vibrator was small, discreet, but extremely powerful. My clit is really sensitive, so I did (and do) tend to keep it on the lowest setting to prolong pleasure.
The dildo was another story… I have a smaller pussy, I don’t really know how to explain it other than this: it takes a few minutes for me to get wet enough to even allow two fingers in. I could be dripping wet, and even if you were using the most gentle touch you might feel like you’re hurting me, but it doesn’t hurt. It feels incredible, every sensation, stretch, everything…
My only problem with dildos is the lack of human touch… The warmth, that sort of “throbbing” desire, feeling full and squeezing tightly around him.. I just cannot get wet when I know some rubber thing is about to be forced inside of me.
So, I became stuck with my vibrator and my fingers. Let me tell you, masturbation isn’t the right word for what I began to do when I felt alone, unwanted, and denied. It was the closest thing to making love to myself as I could get…
The very specific feeling of my fingers being squeezed by my pussy as my juices released around them became an immediate addiction.
Knowing I could choose to gently place a vibrator on my clit and fill myself with two fingers whenever I wanted was empowering, I didn’t need my ex. He didn’t deserve to be craved by me.
I know that whoever my next partner is will need to have a healthy sex drive as I do. I tried incorporating watching porn during sex, or making my ex look at beautiful naked women while we fucked (a weird turn-on of mine), but none of my kinks seemed to mesh with what he wanted.
I guess I just chose this place to vent, because I’m proud of myself for realizing I deserve better, even if it means just being alone.
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/4vg9li/being_denied_sex_by_my_ex_helped_me_perfect