Following my drama of moving out, I am now back living in the suburbs with my parents at 28 years old. I’m so grown up. Nethertheless, this creates huge logistical problems for hooking up. If things are going well, saying ‘Hey fancy coming back to mine? It’s only an hour train ride and youll have to be quiet so not to wake my mum?’ will make any girl dry up more than the Sahara desert in a flash. Worse still, all the girls I’m seeing also live with their parents. It’s time to get creative, or rather Google ‘Where are the best toilets in London to have sex in?’
So it happened, there are websites dedicated to this. Evidently I’m not the only one to have faced such problems. And there was one very good suggestion on there- the Shard. For the non European amongst us who may not know about the Shard, it’s the tallest building in the UK. Doing a girl from behind in the toilets whilst having a skyline view of London sounds right up my street.
One girl I’m seeing was insisting that I get us a room at the Hilton. I’m not going to shell out that much money for a shag, especially from someone I’m already getting with. Toilets probably aren’t for her. However there is the girl who I banged in the strip club toilets, she would definitely be game. I message her, and she is.
We go the shard. We do a courtesy glass of wine and I start whispering to her all the things I’m going to do to her. The wine finishes fast and we rush to the toilets like we’ve suddenly lost complete control of our bladders. We go into our respective genders toilets to see which ones are free. Great view of the London skyline by the urinals, so you can pretend you’re peeing on all the little ant sized people below. However the toilet itself is smelly and doesn’t have a window view, just your standard walls. I guess nobody below wants to see your anus hole pooping. Oh and yeah there were guys in there.
I walk out and she was just walking out of the girls toilets. She tells me to come in, I do so without hesitation before anybody sees. I expected it to look the same as the guys toilets, instead it’s so much more elaborate. Everything about it was nicer, although sadly the skyline view was also omitted from the toilet itself. What it did have though that the mens didn’t was mirrors. The entire celing and walls- it was all one big shiny mirror. So I fucked her from behind whilst I watched me in the mirror fucking her. It actually made me quite self conscious- my body is not much to look at. I’d rather have been having a view of London. We also had to be quiet because women kept walking into the toilets. Unlike the strip club, the fantasy wasn’t as good as the reality but it was still pretty damn good. An added bonus was that I came in her mouth- I’m not a big fan of blowjobs and haven’t come with one for years so she was feeling really pleased with herself at this achievement. She also loved the mirrors a lot more than me, I guess since she’s much prettier to look at than me.
We then went back to our table half an hour later as if nothing had happened, although staff were giving us dirty looks. We then finally did actually look at the London skyline and it was a good view. I said ‘let’s take over the world’ she replied ‘Yeah where shall we start?’ I quite like this one.
(tinderlifeblog.com)
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/4dldaf/sex_up_the_shard_mf