*Guilt and Pleasure: Volume 3*
**[It’s Not Cheating If You Get Caught](http://imgur.com/5ADcpp0)**
by Matthew Myen
————–
If this is the first of mine you have read, please read the [first part](https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/3shg5r/its_not_cheating_if_you_dont_touch_fm/) and [second part](https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/3y0gng/its_not_cheating_if_you_only_look_fm/) before continuing.
This final volume seems like a good place to put the full stop and I hope you agree with that decision. It’s about the same length as the second volume, if you’re wanting to know that before you get started.
All the best,
Matthew
————–
**Chapter 1**
The silhouette on the landing above shifted and coalesced into a shadowy Dan, a faint filter of light from downstairs throwing him only vaguely into relief as he came towards the top of the staircase. A small, bright bar of illumination marked his jeans from the crack under the bathroom door where Lily was still trying to catch her breath after having it violently fucked out of her. Dan’s eyes regarded me above a mouth that was set in a serious line.
“Dan¬—” I began, but cut myself off, not wanting to give away anything that he hadn’t already heard or guessed. How loud had we been? How long had he been up here looking for me?
*Matthew, you fucking idiot.*
“Jess was going to come up and check on you,” Dan said in a neutral tone. “I volunteered to do it instead.” My stomach did a flip and my vision swam a bit. Maybe Lily wasn’t the only one still catching her breath. My brain kicked into overdrive, adrenaline spiking me into alertness. I didn’t know what he knew, or thought he knew, but I had to operate on the premise that he knew nothing until he indicated otherwise.
“I— uhh… thanks?” I replied. “Lily needed help reaching something.”
*Smooth.*
“Aha…”
It was difficult to look Dan in the eye, but I did it anyway; carefully schooling my features to innocence. His flat expression hadn’t changed.
*I better get him back downstairs,* I thought, resisting the urge to glance at the closed bathroom door.
I turned away from him. “Is dinner ready yet?” I asked as nonchalantly as I could manage while taking a few steps down.
“Almost,” Dan said. I heard him follow me and breathed a sigh of relief. We descended into the well-lit living room, tiles cold on my bare feet. Jess and Emily were serving up plates of chicken cacciatore while Peter set the table.
“Were you giving birth up there, Matt?” Peter asked loudly. The others laughed briefly or smiled. I forced a smile. Peter has a way of speaking to you that makes you feel as if you are merely the means for him to impress bystanders, not the actual recipient of his communication.
I picked up some cutlery and started to set the table with Peter while Dan took a seat. Thankfully, no one else questioned my extended absence – I was feeling very exposed in the well lit room, almost naked, as if my every thought was being telegraphed to everyone around me.
As I took my seat next to Jessica at the table, Lily re-joined the party, looking unruffled and pretty in her black dress. Thankfully, the pleated skirt that hung around her thighs was unblemished by any damning evidence, probably thanks to my bunching it up around her waist earlier. Her cheeks were aglow with a light rose that could easily be explained by the exertion of walking down the stairs. Lily smiled around the room and almost skipped over to help Jessica and Emily carry plates of cacciatore.
The dinner was amicable for the most part. With no one having seen each other for a while there was plenty to talk about and Lily had cooked a delicious meal to share it over. The girls sipped cheap and sugary wine as they ate while the guys stuck to water. When everyone had full bellies and the conversation was starting to die down, Emily brought up the topic of the wedding.
“The big day’s coming, guys!” she said with a sly look at Jessica and I. She liked making us nervous. Peter laughed good-naturedly.
Jessica smiled at her. “4 months! We’re looking forward to it. Judging from the reviews, just the food at the reception will be worth the cost.”
“Arguable,” I muttered. This day was going to cost us more money than we had, but I read once that the biggest mistake you can make in a marriage is to skimp on the wedding. Little girls look forward to their wedding day, and big girls look back at their wedding day. It’s like their whole lives revolve around this one chance to be a princess – I wasn’t going to be the one to fuck that up for her. Or at least, I hadn’t intended to be.
*No, you’ll just fuck Lily instead.*
I avoided looking at Jess as she playfully hit my arm.
“It’s going to be such a good day,” Emily grinned and strongly resembled a short, milk skinned Natalie Dormer for a moment. She really was quite gorgeous, once you got passed her personality quirks.
“That reminds me,” Jessica said to Emily, holding my bicep with the small hand she had mock-hit me with. “We really need to find shoes.” I groaned inwardly. The bridesmaids were still doing their shopping, though I couldn’t really talk as I hadn—
“Never mind us, what about them!?” Emily looked significantly around the table at the boys as she punched Dan’s arm next to her, much harder than Jessica had hit me.
*Thanks, Em.*
As we spoke about the lack of wedding preparations the groomsmen and I had made, Lily’s ever present smile left her face slowly and her green eyes looked a bit sad. I wondered if she was jealous that she wasn’t in the wedding party. It had been awkward, but not unexpected, when Jess chose to have an unbalanced wedding party rather than include her. I had Dan as best man and Peter as groomsmen, while she only had Emily as maid of honor. The whole topic of the wedding was making me feel decidedly unwell, and it definitely wasn’t due to Lily’s cacciatore.
“Let’s talk about something else,” Lily suggested, eyeing my expression.
There was a frosty silence, Jessica staring disbelievingly at Lily while Peter, Dan, Emily and I looked anywhere else. Dan toyed with his food.
“Damn right,” Peter agreed readily. “We’ll get it done, Jess – don’t stress about it.”
“We can go suit shopping this weekend,” I added hastily. “Right, Dan?”
“Sure, I should be free,” he glanced at Emily, who pouted before nodding her approval.
Jessica slowly broke away from her staring match with Lily, nodding at me with a terse smile. The rest of the dinner passed uneventfully, the conversation sticking to safe waters. Dan and Emily stayed for a while afterwards, but soon enough Jessica’s yawns caught around the table like a plague.
“Time for bed,” Emily declared. My sleepy thoughts noted how bossiness seemed to be inversely proportional to height within our friendship. As I considered the wider societal implications of this observation, Dan and Emily gathered their things and said their goodbyes; Emily bestowing hugs all around. She was nice to hug, blonde hair like silk beneath my hands and smelling faintly of perfume. Her head only came up to my chest. As was custom, Dan gave Peter and I our mockingly formal hand shake, but he awkwardly waved to the girls instead of hugging them. The door closed behind them, and Peter disappeared to have a shower while we cleaned up.
As we rinsed dishes and stacked the dishwasher, I secretly prayed that the girls wouldn’t say a word to each other.
“Why did you change the subject at dinner?” Jessica asked, her voice too casual.
*Fuck.*
Lily rinsed another dish before turning to face Jessica. “The boys looked like they felt picked on, that’s all.”
Jessica’s eyes widened and her nostrils flared. I wanted to be somewhere else. Six feet underground maybe.
“Look, just because you’re jealous you’re not in the wed¬—”
Lily cut her off sounding loudly incredulous *“Jealous!?”*
I had to head this one off. “Uh, guys? Let’s not fight.”
Lily ignored me, glaring daggers at Jessica. “As if I’d be jealous of your shitty wedding,” she said.
*Oh fuck.*
Jessica had been smiling smugly at making Lily lose her cool, but went red at Lily’s words. I quickly moved between the two as she actually took a step towards Lily.
“You fucking bitch!” Jessica yelled, trying to push past my outstretched hand against her chest.
Lily’s green eyes narrowed and she smiled tauntingly. My free hand was ready to control her, but at the moment it wasn’t necessary.
I was freaking out inside. In all the time I had known them, the girls had never openly fought before. I mean, there had been insults both implied and heard, but nothing out in the open. We didn’t have much longer on the lease, and I didn’t want live even a few months with housemates that hate us.
I tried to project some firmness into my voice. “Jess, calm down. We’re all tired. We can talk tom—”
“Don’t tell me to fucking calm down! Get *off* me!” She hit my hand away from her, and I almost put it back before I realised she wasn’t trying to get to Lily. Now she was focused on me.
“Why are you taking her side? She called your fucking wedding shitty!”
I resisted the insane urge to laugh at her phrasing. “I’m not taking her side, I—”
“You’ve done *nothing* for the wedding, leaving it all to me like the fucking dick you are!”
“Hey, come on. I’ve done plenty.”
And I had, too – but Jessica has selective memory when she’s emotional and tired, and it seemed that tonight she was both. Early in our relationship I had tried to rationally present evidence when she attacked me rather attempt to resolve than the disagreement – but I had long since learned my lesson. When Jessica felt like this, she needed to be left alone until she could think rationally. If this conversation continued much longer it could do irreparable damage to *several* relationships.
“I did see him working on the invites,” Lily put in helpfully.
“Shut the *FUCK UP!*” Jessica screeched, and I had to employ my blocking hand again.
“Lily, please let me talk to her,” I pleaded over my shoulder, trying desperately to continue my restraint on Jessica as she hit and clawed my hand trying to get past me.
“I don’t want to talk to you!” Jessica snapped. “You’re obviously on Lily’s side, you fucking asshole. Why don’t you marry her?!”
“I am less insane,” Lily agreed nastily.
Jessica positively screamed in fury, and despite my best efforts she slipped past my hands. She seemed to fly at Lily who looked both shocked and scared. Jessica crashed into Lily and they hit the tiled floor hard, Lily’s head bumping into the tiles, Jessica’s fingers seizing at her chestnut hair. I was a second later. I’m not a big guy, but it wasn’t hard to get an arm between the two and desperately heave. Jessica sailed a few feet and tumbled, sliding away from me.
*Shit, I overdid it.*
I hurried over to her, but the expression on her face froze me in my tracks: eyes wide and full of fear. She backed away from me as if I was going to follow up with a kick.
“Jess, I’m sorry – I had to stop you.”
Jessica managed to stand up, holding her wrist gingerly.
“Get out of here,” she sobbed at me, and climbed the stairs as quickly as she could. I stood still, shocked. I could hear Peter singing discordantly in the shower.
Lily was still on the ground, hair messy and partly obscuring her face. She tentatively poked with a hand to check her head for blood. There were a few tears on her cheeks, but they did nothing to stop my anger. I don’t anger easily, and I instinctively suppress extremes of emotion, but I was having a tough time doing that at the moment. I was actually shaking, and when I spoke, it was with cold fury lacing every syllable.
“Why the fuck did you provoke her like that?” I asked slowly and quietly. Inside, I was on the edge of panicked wall punching.
I expected apologies. Some kind of remorse. Instead, Lily looked at me defiantly with her tear-filled eyes.
“Because she is a fucking bitch, and deserves everything she gets,” she spat. “I *enjoyed* that.”
My anger went out like a snuffed candle, replaced for the moment by the cold shock of surprise, and of revelation. Suddenly I saw recent events in a new light of understanding. A chance collision on the stairs. Lily actively seeking to spend time alone with me.
*“How often do you… touch yourself?” Lily asked, bending over as she stacked dishes under the counter.*
*Oh fuck,* I thought leadenly. *She can’t have.*
It wasn’t difficult to keep my voice quiet. I felt numb. “Is that what I am to you? Is that what *we* are? A knife?” I already knew the answer.
She just looked up at me, green eyes glistening. My chest felt painfully empty and yet somehow stretched passed capacity. My eyes burned, and I was breathing too fast. Lily’s green eyes seemed sad, not betraying her cruelty at all, and it was the same sadness they had shown during dinner. I wanted to ask her why. I wanted her to tell me she felt nothing for me. I wanted her to say that she loved me.
I left the house, shutting the door quietly behind me.
~
[Link to part 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/4ci44x/its_not_cheating_if_you_get_caught_fm/d1ides7)
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/4ci44x/its_not_cheating_if_you_get_caught_fm
**Chapter 2**
I don’t know how long I walked barefoot through the night before I called Dan. It must have been hours, because the number of cars rushing by dwindled almost to nothing. Everyone sensible was asleep. I was getting cold, but not dangerously so. While I hadn’t dressed for being outside, the movement was keeping me warm enough. My numbness retreated and my pace quickened as the feelings grew. I heard myself begin a hyperventilated sob as the pain of betrayal and guilt rent my chest.
When I could finally breathe again, I still couldn’t decide what mistakes I had made and what I needed to do from here. I was confused and angry, but most of all I just felt tired; a bone deep weariness that made me want nothing more than to lie down on the footpath and pass out.
One of my favourite things about Dan is how technologically connected he is. You can call him at any time of the day or night – it doesn’t matter if he’s working or asleep – he might tell you he can’t talk right now, but he *always* picks up.
“Matt?” Dan queried. Oddly enough, he sounded quite alert.
“Hey Dan,” I said woodenly.
“Where you at?”
“Passing the park, near Joe’s.”
“On my way,” Dan hung up. I sat on the sidewalk, and I had only just started to shiver when he pulled up in his faded red sedan, headlights spraying a pool of light over the road. At any other time the sight of his car would have made me grin. I had been absurdly happy when he chose to keep the shit-heap of a vehicle instead of accepting a car from Emily. To me, the vehicle was very *Dan*, whatever that meant.
I sat down, and Dan shifted gears and accelerated. He didn’t say anything. He hit play on his after-market stereo, and I closed my eyes in exhaustion as I let Howard Shore’s masterful music tweak and soothe my raw nerves.
Dan knew me better than anyone.
~
It was late when I awoke the next day. The noon-day sun had managed to pierce the heavy curtains enough to light the large, high-ceilinged bedroom I lay in. I vaguely remembered Dan bringing me back to Emily’s house (mansion, by my estimation) but I didn’t remember falling asleep. My head sunk deep into the impossibly soft duck feather pillow and I tried to will myself back into unconsciousness.
I was eventually forced to give up on sleep due to boredom. The high ceiling was bordered with plaster scrollwork that was interesting for a time, but hardly engaging for any long period. I groaned as I sat up, pulling off my socks from the night before.
*Jess.*
The thought of my fiancée was like a punch to the gut. Recalling the previous night’s events with new perspective, something became very clear to me. I was *an absolute moron*. Sure, Lily had used me to hurt Jessica – and might even be revealing everything to her right now, but if I was half the person I had always pretended to be, it never would have worked. I’d have acknowledged my attraction to Lily, then let it pass me by without acting on it. The only thing left to do now was find new living arrangements and think of the least awkward way retrieve my belongings from that hellhole.
Emily’s guest bedroom could have housed two regular master bedrooms, yet it didn’t feel empty, courtesy of the many wardrobes, armchairs, lamps and lounges populating the empty space. An empty fireplace blocked one corner of the room, and a single huge window that spanned one entire wall was covered up almost completely by ivory curtains. I walked to the window and drew back the curtains some, squinting against the sudden invasion of brightness.
It really was as close to a mansion as you could get this close to the city. As I looked down from my second story vantage point, I saw a white stone driveway winding like a snake through a flourishing collection of flower dotted gardens and perfectly manicured lawns. Well-trimmed hedges bordered the property alongside a tall security fence which was broken only by a motorized gate what must have been 150 feet from the front of the house. I shook my head. I couldn’t imagine the cost of maintaining such a property, but with Emily’s dad being a high-paid executive they could obviously afford to splurge.
A glimmer of reflected sunlight drew my attention from the grounds. The crystal clear pool was large enough for doing laps and lay alongside a separate spa that our group of friends had spent a few nights in. On one of the many plastic recliners surrounding the pool lay Emily. I reflexively stepped to the side slightly, hiding a bit better from her line of sight. It probably wasn’t necessary to do so; she was stretched out under an umbrella, and though she was wearing sunglasses, her continued stillness seemed to suggest that she might be napping. It was a good thing her paleness was shielded from the sun by that umbrella, because she was wearing a shockingly skimpy red bikini that did little for UV protection. She was lying on her back and I could see the curves of her rising breasts. I’ve already said that I’m an ass man, but Emily does a great job of advocating the other camp. The hour-glass curvature of her figure was accentuated at this distance, allowing me to see broad shapes and patterns rather than become distracted by detail. Emily was far from fit, but neither was she overweight. Lying there so exposed, I was struck by how attractive she was in a curvy, confident way that made Jessica’s workout habits look to be a complete waste of time.
I stepped away from the window and went to brush my teeth in the ornate bathroom. I didn’t want Emily to look up at me, and I wasn’t in the mood to perve anyway. I find it fucking weird when people brush their teeth before eating breakfast but my mouth felt furry from previous night’s dinner, so I made an exception.
I left the room wishing I had a change of clothes and closed the door behind me. Flowered plants that had to have been either fake or well-maintained gave colour to the hallway from my room and flanked the top of the stained mahogany staircase that descended to the foyer and the front entry. Thick carpet that smelled like new car gave way to my bare toes as I trod quietly to the top of the stairs.
I wondered where Dan was, but assumed Emily would know, so I ran one hand along the balustrade as I took the steps down to the front door. The house seemed abnormally empty to me, coming from a relatively cramped townhouse, and I wondered whether Emily ever felt the same. I exited through the front door, opting to avoid putting my shoes on for the moment and walked on the rough sandstone path that edged the house until I reached the pool.
Emily was still lying on her plastic recliner, though she was now positioned with one knee pulled up to point at the sky, her foot resting on the chair. The position caused the beginnings of a stomach fold to show, but it was only the plumpness of a young girl with a healthy body fat percentage; it did nothing to detract from her looks. Her blonde hair was tied up and the dimples in her cheeks were just visible under her shades.
Honestly, I wouldn’t have noticed flaws in her body if they existed. My attention was supremely distracted by the flawless valley between her breasts. Being as well-endowed as she is, it’s always a surprise to see how pert her breasts are – had she been standing, the red bikini would have barely needed to support them. The tinting of the wide oval sunglasses Emily wore completely blocked her eyes from my view, so I had no idea if they were open. At least, I had no idea until she turned her head towards me and smiled.
[Link to part 3](https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/4ci44x/its_not_cheating_if_you_get_caught_fm/d1idflg)
“Hey, you,” Emily smiled at me lazily.
*I like dimples.* Stupid thoughts. Tired brain.
“Morning Em,” I replied. I hesitated. “Listen, thanks for letting me stay. I’m sorry if I bothered you so late at night.”
She laughed, resting her head back on the recliner. “I didn’t even know you were here til now. No one was using that bedroom anyway.”
“Where’s Dan?” I asked.
“At college,” Emily replied without looking at me. Dan studied law – and I don’t mean studied in the usual sense, as in he was enrolled in a school but spends all his time partying. Dan was and still is an extremely diligent student.
I stood there for a while, still feeling like a fog of tiredness was clouding my mind from the previous night. Emily and I never spent time together alone, and the atmosphere would have been a bit awkward if not for her apparent lack of interest in my presence. She continued to sunbathe in silence, looking for all the world like she was sleeping. I passed the time listening to the birds and absent-mindedly drinking in the sight of Emily. I realised what I was doing and immediately felt angry with myself. Don’t get me wrong, I believe men are biologically predisposed to notice beautiful girls and that fighting those desires is stupid – but sometimes I feel like my entire self is defined by my desires, and it isn’t what I want to be.
I took two steps and walked right into the pool.
Cold shocked me awake in an instant and I felt my hair lift as I sank like a stone to the bottom of the clear water. Bubbles tickled my nose and I kept my eyes shut against the chlorine. The silence pressed in on my ears and I felt wonderfully isolated.
When I surfaced, Emily was sitting up with one hand holding her shades. She was looking at me with an eyebrow raised, but I ignored her as I pulled myself through the water and up onto a floating pink inflatable pool chair.
“You should take your shirt off,” Emily suggested, though she sounded as if it would be stupid not to follow her advice.
*That’s not flirting. It can’t be.*
In the two years Dan and Emily had dated, I had always got on well with Emily, but it wasn’t thanks to any synergy of our personalities. At times, the only reason I could resist slapping the little princess was because to do so would be to risk losing Dan. I’d like to think that if it came to it, Dan would choose me over her – but honestly, I didn’t want to find out. Lately, it seemed that his every motivation was to please her and his friendship with me (and his car) were the last bastions of the old, independent boy I had grown up with.
Emily smiled lazily at me from behind her re-equipped Prada sunglasses at the other side of the pool. “Do you have any plans for the rest of the day?”
*Please don’t be flirting.* Yeah, yeah, I know. She was just being friendly, but you really can’t blame me for being hyper-sensitive to infidelity by this stage.
“Not really, I’m on holidays at the moment,” I answered. Floating on my back on the inflatable raft, I closed my eyes and enjoyed the drifting sensation and coolness surrounding my feet.
“Good, I could use the company.” I heard a splash and opened my eyes. The searing hot noon-day sun shimmered blindingly on the surface of the pool and I found myself wishing for my own pair of shades. Short as she was, Emily’s chest only just cleared the water, the curves of her pale breasts on display. She had to be aware that the bikini was revealing, but I supposed it wasn’t outrageous enough to conclude she was trying to seduce me. Regardless, nothing she could do would be anything like the temptation Lily had put me through – and nothing in the world could make me do anything to hurt Dan. Even a brief thought of Lily stung like lemon juice squeezed in a fresh wound, so I tried to change the subject of my thoughts by engaging Emily in conversation.
“What do you want for lunch?” I asked.
“Oh, I don’t mind,” she said languidly as she floated on her back, hair splayed out above her. “You can cook whatever you like, though.” Emily’s house had a pristine kitchen, all silver panels and white marble. If the huge pantries were fully stocked, I truly would be able to eat anything I desired.
“Or we could cook? You know, divide the labour.” I felt a bit ungrateful in saying it given the circumstances of my visit, but you have to understand that Emily pulled the same attitude with Dan *every day.* As far as I knew, *she* hadn’t cooked for him a single time in their relationship, despite not having a job to speak of.
She looked at me askance and I couldn’t read her expression properly. *Annoyance?* “Alright, Matt.” There was no way I was letting Emily treat me like she did her boyfriend.
*Someone has to stand up to her,* I resolved. *And it might as well be me.*
The battle for Dan had begun.
~
[Link to part 4](https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/4ci44x/its_not_cheating_if_you_get_caught_fm/d1idgho)
**Chapter 3**
Despite my assertion that we both prepare lunch, Emily disappeared into her bedroom after the swim for an inordinate amount of time and my hunger got the best of me, so I gave in and put some pasta on to boil. I had already chopped vegetables and started frying up some mince by the time Emily joined me, wearing an all-white lacey long sleeved top and a matching skirt that looked like something a model would wear to the beach. Her bikini was still quite visible through the lace, I noticed with some degree of irritation, though I was probably just pissed that I’d ended up cooking lunch without her.
“Oh, you’re almost done!” Emily said with a perfect tone of surprise and a complete lack of apology.
“No problem,” I said, looking up at her. I made sure to meet her blue eyes as I replied. “You can do the washing up!” I gave her my best grin as something like shock played across her face, then I went to stir the mince and add some seasoning. I was expecting some sort of response: outright refusal, or maybe some cheeky counter-offer, but I heard nothing. I noticed I was standing straighter at the stove and laughed inwardly at myself; it just felt so good to get one up on her.
“Where’s your Mom today?” I asked while serving up spaghetti bolognaise for both of us onto the expensive plates I’d found in the cupboard.
Emily wrinkled her nose. “Not so much for me, please. I don’t really like bolognaise.”
I resisted the urge to flick a dollop the mince at her.
“She’s out shopping,” Emily replied, oblivious to any offense she might have caused. “And she won’t be back ‘til tonight.” As she said this, she looked from the mince up to my face. Just looked, but I felt the bottom of my stomach drop out.
*Now that was fucking flirting.*
I’m proud to say I was more pissed off than anything. Given my recent track record, I didn’t have the most steadfast belief in my willpower, but I felt a new determination to master my dick. Looking back, I realise how hypocritical my thoughts were: how *dare* this chit flirt with someone other than Dan? Still, that was my reaction – I may be a cheater, but Dan sure as hell isn’t and he deserves better.
Somewhat to the Emily’s astonishment, I think, I followed through with my expectation that she would do the washing up by the simple expedient of handing her my plate when I was finished. I don’t know who was more stunned by the whole thing: Emily, with her sulky pout as she rinsed plates and put them in the washer, or me, that she actually did it.
I escaped to the lounge room and turned on the TV. Sometime later Emily followed me, sitting on a couch off to my right with her legs tucked up underneath her. She supported her head with one hand and twirled a lock of her blonde hair around a small finger as she watched the shitty daytime game show I had on. The way she lounged showed most of her legs and her ass was poking out beneath the lace of her short skirt.
You have to understand at this point that I legitimately like Emily. I’m not saying I could ever have the patience to date her, but as a friend – she’s generally very friendly and pleasant to pass the time with. That being said, she never flirted with me. This was the first time I had seen so much as a peak of her ass, so the last thing I wanted to do was ignore it. But here I was, new day: new man.
I completely ignored her and watched the presenter on TV make a big deal out of a coffee machine prize. With my eyes safely locked to the screen, my thoughts roiled. Why was Emily acting like this? What had Dan told her? I didn’t even know if Dan realised I had been fucking Lily in the bathroom last night.
*But,* I thought slowly. *If Dan does know, and he did tell Emily, she might think she has a shot with me now.* It would be just like Dan to tell Emily everything, and unfair of me to expect him to keep secrets from her. I felt cold. If Emily came onto me now, I had no way of proving to Dan that she had started it. Who would he believe – his long term girlfriend or his best friend who he had caught cheating the night before? I felt around in my pocket for my mobile and pulled it out. *No messages or missed calls,* I observed with both relief and anxiety. I tapped a few times and started and audio recording, then put the phone back in my pocket.
The cushion hitting me in the face forced my attention back to Emily, who wore a devilish smile.
“This show is boring,” she stated. “Change the channel.”
I picked up the TV remote, then turned up the volume a couple of points while grinning at her. Her face was priceless. She stood up, pulling down the bottom of her lace skirt to ensure it covered her properly and fixing her top, then she began to stalk closer to my couch, an expression of determination on her petite form. I quickly moved the remote behind me.
Emily launched herself at me, already laughing, and I threw up my hands to stop her ploughing straight into my face. I caught her by a shoulder and a wrist and suddenly I was confronted by her D cup breasts brushing the tip of my nose. Her bikini was just visible through the lace, though really it was just the red that I could see. I laughed with her. She was delightfully easy to hold at bay. To show her how pointless her assault was, I rolled her off me to the side and gathered both her wrists above her head. Initially I had her pinned with both my hands, but it ended up feeling too intimate, so I switched to a one-handed hold and turned my body slightly away.
She struggled fruitlessly for a moment, then stopped. All amusement had left her face and she was glaring at me. The change was startlingly different from the girl I had been wrestling with a few seconds ago.
“Let me go,” Emily demanded. “Right now.” Her blue eyes were narrowed dangerously.
[Link to part 5](https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/4ci44x/its_not_cheating_if_you_get_caught_fm/d1idgzf)
“You going to leave me alone?” I enquired calmly.
A pause. “Yes,” she said sulkily.
“Promise,” I insisted.
“Fine,” she snarled.
Being ever the chivalrous type, I did as she requested and released her. She immediately flailed her legs at me and ended up connecting – right in the unmentionables. Some girls don’t know where to draw the line with physical violence on men, and Emily is irrefutably one of them. My stomach felt like it was eating my testicular cords as they retracted painfully and I fell away groaning. Emily’s gleeful shout rang in my ears as she tried to force an arm underneath my back to get at the remote I had fallen on. She got it out just as I was feeling the heat from her blow rush to my head and she immediately turned away from me, frantically pressing the buttons on the remote to change the channel.
I didn’t really care what we were watching, but I *was* pissed off at that cheap blow she had hit, so I grabbed her from behind. We were both kneeling on the couch, so reaching over her shoulder to get a hand on the remote wasn’t difficult, but it did require grazing her boobs. She screamed and frantically tried to pull the remote from my grip. When that didn’t work, she tried to flick her feet backwards at my junk again at the same time as she attempted to bite me. I instinctively grabbed a fistful of her hair and pushed the side of her head into the couch, using my other hand to put my entire body weight into holding her hips into the couch which effectively ended her kicking attempts.
I panted from the exertion of holding her down like that, then abruptly realised she had stopped struggling. Her eyes were closed, the slight part of her lips was painted a deep rosy red that rivalled the flush suffusing her cheeks. I let up a bit on her hips and slackened my grip on her hair, worried I was hurting her. Emily moaned and her eyes opened a bit, before she swallowed audibly. Okay, this was getting weird.
I rose to kneel astride her, letting go entirely. She twisted a bit to look up at me, resulting in excessive side boob poking out of her top. I noticed she had a freckle right where the lower curve of her left breast began. I started to get up, but she immediately restarted her flailing attack at me every time I did. We ended up with her on her back, both her hands pinned above her head by my own. I kneeled astride her hips until she attempted to knee me in the balls, which meant I needed to reposition my legs. I wormed first one foot, then the next until they were between her legs, then used my hips to push her legs up, rendering them useless for kicking.
*Hah! I’ve got her,* I thought triumphantly. Then I saw the position I had her in. *Wait, what the fuck?*
Emily’s hands were intertwined under mine, the pale lengths of her arms stretched above her. The position thrust her chest forward and her breasts were heaving as she regained her breath. To hold her as I was, I was completely on top of her, and her legs were pushed up so she was effectively in an elevated hip missionary position. Her lace skirt had ridden up and her bikini covered mound was mere inches from my crotch. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, but the sultry upward curve of Emily’s lips told me that she at least, had what she wanted.
I opened my mouth to apologise and perhaps to extract another ceasefire from her, but she interrupted me.
“You like holding me down, don’t you?” Her tone, almost angry, was at odds with the arousal painting her face.
“Er… No?”
Emily was still panting, and she managed to hook one leg behind my butt, trying to pull me in. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing, not changing the channel when I tell you to? This is *my house.*” She was still struggling against my hands, pulling at my waist, lifting her own waist to try and touch her still covered pussy to my pants. It was hard to stamp down arousal, but sheer confusion was helping.
“I’ll let go and leave, if you like?” I offered. “Just quit attacking me.”
Emily ignored me. “You think you’re the fucking boss around here, don’t you? Telling me to wash up! I’ll fucking bite you.” She underscored the last by crunching up enough to have a good go at nipping my forearm. “You’re not my fucking Dad, you sick fuck.” This was getting really, really weird. Emily was getting herself worked up. As she continued to struggle and curse at me her breathing became more ragged and her words more obscene. I just gaped at her.
“I bet you want to fuck me, don’t you? Don’t you, Daddy? You want to fuck your girl, you sick fuck,” Emily moaned, actually managing to thrust up enough to make contact with my traitorously hardening dick. I always knew Emily had some sort of repressed Daddy issues – just the shit Dan let her get away with in front of me was evidence enough – but this was actually alarming.
“Emily,” I began. “Dan— “
“Rape my fucking cunt,” Emily spat at me.
She was trying to provoke me, and perhaps several months ago it would have worked. I’d like to think it wouldn’t have, but what happened with Lily made me realise I was not the protagonist of my life, but rather a flawed character with very real weaknesses. I could feel the warmth of her pussy through the thin bikini as it pressed against the head of my erection. My body wanted to react, to thrust, tear and slap this girl until she knew she was my bitch. I struggled to think of Dan, and it was the memory of our end-of-school road trip that came back to me: the two of us on the hood of his car, eating pizza and talking about what we were going to do with our lives. I was going to marry my girlfriend, have two kids and a nine-til-five, and be the fucking happiest cliché on Earth. Dan spoke quietly his dreams of studying as many things as he could, working only to finance his passion for learning.
Yeah, I’m a cheater. But not this time. Not when it would hurt Dan. I let go of Emily and rolled off her, scrambling away from the couch and almost slipping over. Then I sprinted as fast as I could, out of the room and out of the house, before I could even think about what I was passing up.
~
[Link to part 6](https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/4ci44x/its_not_cheating_if_you_get_caught_fm/d1idi24)
**Chapter 4**
When Dan came home I was on the front stairs waiting for him. I had spent the hours between walking the grounds, though I did take the time to send Dan a text to let him know what had happened.
*Listen man, I don’t know how to put this so I’ll just say it straight out. Emily tried to fuck me. I said no. Come home ASAP.*
As he got out of his car I walked to him quickly, but Emily burst from the house behind me and beat me to it, flinging her arms around him and crying loudly.
“Dan, I’ve been so scared!”
Dan looked over Emily’s head at me with a decidedly neutral expression.
“I take it she’s already texted you a different story,” I said.
“I told him the truth,” Emily said into Dan’s chest. “You tried to come on to me!”
Boy was I glad I had that audio recording. This could have been a real shit show if I hadn’t thought ahead for once in my life, but I decided to see what Dan would do before pulling my trump card. Dan looked up at me, his hand stroking the back of Emily’s head.
“Can you give us a minute, Matt?”
I hesitated. “Yeah, sure.”
I went and sat on the same couch I had been watching TV on earlier, but I wasn’t waiting for long before Dan and Emily came in together. Emily looked like she had been legitimately crying. I actually admired her acting skills.
“Emily tells me you came on to her,” Dan prompted. He didn’t look remotely angry, but Dan and I both shared a temper of the worst kind – the quiet sort, so it was impossible to be sure.
Okay, this was going too far. “Yeah, didn’t happen,” I said flatly. I pulled out my phone. “I have a recording of everything she said, man.” I softened my expression. “I’m sorry Dan.” I could only guess at how bad he was about to feel – he was head over heels for this manipulative bitch.
Emily gaped at me. “You— you *bastard,*” she breathed.
“Should I play it?” I asked, still meeting Dan’s eyes.
Dan looked at Emily. “Em?”
Emily looked at Dan, then at my phone, then back at Dan. Finally, she looked away from both of us. “I might have— I may have, I mean—” Emily stammered. “It was *his* fault,” she pointed at me. “He seduced me!”
“What?!” I squawked. “By telling you to do the washing up? By protecting myself when you attacked me?”
Emily just glared at me, her lips pouting cutely. There was a very long silence in which Dan looked at the both of us. Then he said something, and I couldn’t have heard it right. Slowly, Emily began to smile.
“Pardon?” I said.
“I said, I don’t mind if you want to… you know,” he repeated, not looking at me directly. “Come onto her.”
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” I replied, completely flabbergasted.
“Yeah,” he said, almost defiantly. “It’s just sex, and I guess I kind of—,” he stopped, unsure how to go on and looking at me with a mixture of shame and pleading on his face. He took a deep breath. “Look, haven’t you heard of cuckolding?” Emily continued to look at me with a coy smile on her face.
Of course I’d fucking heard of cuckolding. Did you think I’d spent the last several years in a sex-starved relationship without trying some unusual tastes in porn? It sure as hell wasn’t my thing, but I knew what involved.
“I have heard of it,” I said slowly.
Dan continued in a rush. “We haven’t done anything yet but— I mean we talked about you but— ah fuck, this is awkward.” He looked away again.
Emily stood up and we both looked at her. She put one hand on her hip and one leg bent slightly. “What it means, Matt, is that you get to fuck me,” she stated it as if there was no greater prize. I was still in absolute shock, and I think that was helping me think rationally.
“Dan, look man, it’d make things really fucking weird,” I said.
[Link to part 7](https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/4ci44x/its_not_cheating_if_you_get_caught_fm/d1idirc)
Emily pursed her lips at me, then took off her white lace top to release her bikini encased tits. Then she hooked two thumbs under the waistband of her skirt and shimmied it down over her hips until it fell around her feet. She knew exactly how fuckable she was. I tried not to look at her and instead focused on Dan.
“I don’t mind,” he insisted. “I’d probably enjoy it more than you.”
You have to keep in mind, reader, that this is my best friend telling me to fuck his girlfriend – it was completely surreal, unexpected, and honestly – not very sexy at the time, despite Emily running her hands over her hips. I couldn’t accept, not when it might damage the only friendship I had left in my life, not when Dan might regret it later – but I also had to be careful not to offend anyone.
I shook my head slowly. “Look, I’m not saying not ever,” I explained. “Emily, you are really hot,” I directed to her, and she preened at the compliment. “But it’s just too soon after what’s been happening, and it feels too rushed. I need to sort my own life out first.” I hesitated, but I needed to say it – to admit it. “I have to sort things out with Jess.”
“You’re right, Matt – I’m sorry,” Dan replied after thinking for a while.
“Baby!” Emily protested to Dan, but I had made my mind up.
So I gathered what few things I had brought with me to Emily’s house and borrowed Dan’s car key. Emily had disappeared in a huff as soon as it became clear I wouldn’t be fucking her, but it wasn’t the last I saw of her that day.
“Good luck,” Dan said, standing in the threshold of the front door to see me off.
I nodded, grim-faced.
“Good luck,” came the girlish echo from inside the house. Dan turned around and we both goggled at Emily, who stood at the top of the mahogany stairs in nothing but a fluffy white bath towel. As we watched, she untucked the corner of the towel and dropped it to the floor. “You can stay here as long as you like if you get kicked out,” she called.
Her tits were absolutely perfect, large areolas and small pointy nipples standing tall on their own, curvaceous hips and a small smattering of fluffy blonde hair barely covering her cute mound. She smirked at us, then walked out of sight.
~
It took about twenty minutes to drive home, but I spent the time composing what I would say to Jessica when I got there. I parked the car out the front of the townhouse complex, and nearly passed out with anxious recognition when I saw Lily sitting in the park nearby, her back pressed against a tree. She was facing the opposite direction though, so I managed to close the car door quietly and pass her by undisturbed.
Just as quietly did I unlock the front door to our townhouse and slip inside. I slowly ascended the stairs, one foot at a time, not even sure why I was attempting stealth any longer but doing so anyway. I guess I didn’t want to engage in any sort of conversation with Peter at this stage: his brash personality was definitely not what I wanted as a warm up to the coming conversation.
[Link to part 8](https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/4ci44x/its_not_cheating_if_you_get_caught_fm/d1idjed)
I heard it before I reached the upstairs landing: a soft *thump,* followed by a short pause, then another *thump*. The sound pattern was repeated, a perfect rhythm and with every beat there was a synchronous increase to the butterflies in my stomach, the weakness in my legs. I tried to reach the door handle to my room, to Jessica’s room, but I almost blacked out in doing it. I sat down, breathing hard, squeezing my eyes shut, but I couldn’t block out the terrible sounds pervading my ears. Moans, heavy breathing, the thump of something pressing again and again into a bed. I was on the verge on panic before I realised that, for all I knew, it wasn’t Jessica being fucked. It might even be Jessica, and she might be being raped.
I stood up, still wobbly, but reached for the door again with hands cold from shock. As quietly as I could, I turned the handle and inched open the door.
That first picture is still fresh in my eyes, burned into my brain, years later. It was Jessica, and she was mounted on top of Peter. Somehow, the female-dominant position made the betrayal all that much worse. A wet mess of cock, cunt and motion is central to the vision; a veiny pole, engorged with arousal and naked of any protective condom, stretching my fiancées vulva around it. They were either using lube or she was wetter for him than she had ever been for me. Jessica was grinding her hips, gyrating to the beat of the lecherous rhythm she was setting for herself every time she slammed herself back down on Peter’s dick.
“Fuck me, you’re such a slut,” came a deep growl from Peter’s throat. And Jessica moaned in wanton lust. If I had called her a slut she would have killed me. He was flat on his back, strong arms merely resting on my high school sweetheart’s hips as she massaged his cock with her insides. She was learning forward, face pressed into his neck, her perfect ass rising and falling with forceful intent. His eyes were closed, as if he was asleep, enjoying the sensations my wife-to-be was giving him.
They couldn’t see me, framed in the doorway, frozen by disgust yet feeling the shameful beginnings of arousal. But I could see them. I could see everything. All those times Peter had left for work soon after Jess had left for gym. Her seeming complete lack of sex drive, but the continuance of her dressing to her best every time she left the bedroom.
*How long?* I thought brokenly. *As long as we’ve been living together?* Suddenly I was glad I hadn’t fucked her in some time.
Jessica was really getting into it. I had never seen her take the lead, never seen her get this aroused. Her pussy lips were swollen and squelching with every downstroke as she picked up her pace. *Is she going to let him cum inside her?* The thought gave me an odd rush, and my own cock hardened rapidly. Yeah. I don’t know, maybe it was some cave-man instinct.
The rest is a blur. I dropped my pants and got on the bed directly behind Peter and Jessica. Jessica cried out in shock as she felt the motion of someone else shift the bed and twisted herself around on the cock that was still inside her as she turned to stammer something at me. I didn’t hear anything she said; I just roughly pushed her forward. Her perfect, untouchable ass underneath my gaze, Peter’s thick cock still half inside her cunt. Entry was easy and thoughtless. She’d never let me before, but this time I wasn’t asking.
I gripped my throbbing cock and pressed it against her asshole, ruthlessly stretching her around me. She yelped, and I didn’t take it slow. I slammed as hard as I could into Jessica’s forbidden asshole, feeling how comparatively tight it was to a vagina. Then I pulled almost all the way out and pushed in again with a bit more ease, almost sheathing to the hilt. She was absolutely sopping wet, thankfully, and I didn’t injure her – but at the time I wouldn’t have cared.
After a few strokes Peter had the nerve to moan and start fucking her cunt again and all Jessica could do was dig her fingernails in to Peter’s shoulders as she was double penetrated for the first time in her life. I felt Peter’s cock pressing against her vaginal wall, the sensation of moving pressure rubbing against my own dick as I struggled not to cum instantly. Peter groaned, and I realised with shock that he was cumming inside my girlfriend, and she was pushing back against us, trying to fuck herself on two dicks at once. Jessica’s asshole clenched around me and it squeezed until, against my will, I burst into orgasm. As Peter and I inseminated her rectum and womb, making her even more of a wet twitching mess, I heard Jessica gibbering something into the bed next to Peter’s head.
“I fucking came. Oh my god, I fucking came.”
I pulled out and left the room.
~
“How long have you known?” I asked.
Lily and I sat next to each other in the park, our backs against the tree and a cool breeze gently stirring her chestnut hair.
“A few months,” Lily said, green eyes distant.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” My question was utterly devoid of anger; it was merely curious.
She looked at me with the same sad expression she had worn when the girls had been discussing wedding plans the previous night.
“I’ve been writing a Facebook message to tell you and deleting it before sending all day,” Lily looked at me imploringly. “I’m sorry, Matt, but would you have believed me even if I did tell you? I did say she was a dick tease, and you didn’t believe that. You’ve always seen only the best in her.” She hesitated. “I guess I didn’t want to risk losing what he had.”
What she said about me seeing only the best in Jessica wasn’t entirely true, but I knew where she was coming from. I made a point never to say anything bad about her to other people; a couple’s problems are their own, in my opinion.
Oddly, I felt okay. Okay with Jessica cheating, okay with Lily’s justification, and okay that it was finally all over. A comfortable silence ensued, except for the swishing of the leaves above as they were rustled by the wind. I don’t think I’ve ever felt as peaceful as I did at that moment.
“I just fucked her in the ass, you know,” I said out of no-where.
Lily looked at me. And then she began to laugh.
~~~
*Thank you for reading Guilt & Pleasure.*
*If you enjoyed this story and would like to own the collection as an e-Book, it is available on Amazon.*
[Link to Afterword](https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/4ci44x/its_not_cheating_if_you_get_caught_fm/d1idjwg)
**Afterword**
Well, it’s finally done. That last chapter came out more painfully that I anticipated. Oh, the writing was quick – it was finding the courage to write it that delayed this volume.
If you’re interested, everything is going well with me now. Lily and I are a couple, and while our sex has toned down since the beginning, I think we both get our fill, right Lili? Peter and Jessica were together for a few months before they called it off. I have nothing to do with them anymore but Emily keeps me up to date. Speaking of Emily, we haven’t fucked, and I’ve seen no more of her body than I did that afternoon out front of her house.
Dan, Emily, Lily and I still hang out frequently, and it’s not awkward at all – oddly. It seems that secrets are what makes things awkward, and we don’t have any more of those. I’m exclusive with Lily, and I’ve discovered how exceedingly easy it is to stay faithful when you’re getting enough sex. Lily’s no prude though, so who knows what might happen in the future! Hint hint, Lil.
Finally, a word of warning to anyone who was in my situation. Mismatched sex drives is not a license to cheat, nor is a death sentence to a relationship. I deeply regret my actions despite the supposed happy ending I’m living in. My confidence is shot, and sometimes I have trouble sleeping at night for guilt – I’m just glad I never had to explain myself to Jessica’s family, whom I have always loved and I still miss deeply. If you care, my advice would be to talk it out with your partner if you can, and make the decision that will leave you feeling as if you did the right thing. You can escape other people’s opinions, but never your own.
Thank you for reading.
Been waiting for this for what seems like a while. What a twist and what a story! ._. keep up the posting!
Dan and Emily:Oh my that had to be mind spinning,maybe you and lilly could do something as a group?
Peter and Jessica: My heart goes out to you,that had to suck finding out about that,atleast its over and your not married to her
You and Lilly:hope it lasts a good long time
Also a great story overall,
so Lilly acted knowing Jessica with peter,prob with some intention of getting some payback but she knew the truth,really sucks for you in the end
So, first off, you’re an amazing writer, and I thoroughly enjoyed the story. For what may be true, I’m very happy things worked out in the end.
However… I have to comment on this: The cuckold part really broke the realism for me. Affair circles are common enough to be believable, but… The way this is painted, you’re saying that your childhood closer-than-brothers friend had a huge fetish you didn’t know about? That at no point in knowing each other for so long did that thought surface? With how sex-driven you describe Matt to be? And not only that…
But also 1) in such a dominating relationship, you seem to say that Dan left Emily in the dark about WHY he brought you home in the middle of the night, 2) didn’t tell her about the scandal he witnessed, 3) that *coincidentally* Emily did this within the same 48 hours that everything else occurred, 4) that Dan wouldn’t bring up the cheating in the awkward cuckold-admitting situation, 5) AND that everyone still gets a happy ending??? It’s just too much. It seems to work out TOO perfectly, not only in your favor, but in the “perfect harem MC-fucks-all-the-girls” way as well.
Then the rest of the details just kinda… get piled on. The constant over-sexualizing, the ever uncertain timeframe of everything, the lack of work/financing details, the lack of nonimportant life events, the only groomsmen/bridesmaids being EXACTLY relevant to the story… The fact that there’s a park close enough to Peter’s place that Lily could have heard the car door slam? Even the phone recording story cliche that is really odd considering the active wrestling (which would jostle/damage the phone)!! It really seemed that none of the characters ever did anything non-sex related! Every situation turned into a scandal. **(edit)** Meaning, Jessica didn’t exercise, and Peter didn’t work – they were having their affair those times instead. You caught them cheating, and instead of emotion, anger, shock, or anything else, you manage to get a DP 3-way out of it! And Emily isn’t a bitch, she’s just a Dom to Dan’s Sub. No part of this story didn’t tie back together with sex. At one point, I thought Lily wanted to go to the wedding so she could have you cheat then!
I wanna believe it’s true, I really do. The vibrator app you referenced is real, the emotions and situations seem real… The first two posts were amazing and captivating to read through. But what I was looking forward to the most, resolution and dialogue from characters (How would Dan approach the knowledge? How would Jessica/Peter react when they found out? What would happen to the wedding?), ALL of these seemed to dissolve into “Matt gets MORE FREE SEX!” This whole thread was just painting sex scene after sex scene. Which was disappointing, honestly. Hot, very very hot, but unrealistic to me.
I hope I don’t offend you, and to each their own for their beliefs. I truly did appreciate the story, and if it is all true to life, then I respect that and your willingness to share.