Teenaged Angst and Sexual Awakenings: The sleepover (F) with Adam (M), who was “just a friend.”

Combined with the novelty of my sexuality, the unspoken sexual tension between Adam and me, and the eternal “what if?s” I’ll always have about him, the event described below will always be one of my hottest memories, even after many years. Apologies in advance/a quick N.B. that there is no “real sex” that occurs (if anyone is looking for that).

I first met Adam in middle school, the 6th grade, when we were both scrawny and awkward-looking. Meeting on the swim team, we became friends quickly, teasing each other and always competing to see who would finish the 50M sprint first. He lived in a different town, however, so the only time I ever saw him was at swim practice. After 7th grade, I quit swim team and didn’t see him again for a few years.

Right before I started 11th grade (my junior year), my parents split up, and my mom moved me and my younger brother into the city for her job. I transferred schools, saying farewell to old friends and preparing myself to meet new people. At my new school, I found that there were many different cliques, but that there were people who intermingled between the different groups, and that there was no real “hostility” between groups. Of course there was harassment and loners, but it wasn’t the cliché Mean Girls-esque type of social hierarchy.

During the first week of school, I became accustomed to my surroundings and endured the constant, “Who are you? Where are you from?” questions from people who were trying to find out more about the “new girl.”

It was during this week that I re-encountered Adam, who was in my AP U.S. History class. I didn’t recognize him at first, as I used to be taller than him. Now he, standing at about 5’11 or 6’0, towered above my 5’4 frame. His wavy, unruly dark hair and dark brown eyes were still the same though. And he had begun to shave. Though still a bit lanky and more on the thin side, I found that I was definitely attracted to him.

He had remembered me and invited me to sit with his friends at lunch, an offer which I gratefully accepted, as I still didn’t know very many students in the school. Soon the school year progressed, and I became one of those students who intermingled between friend groups, though I tended to hang out more with the girls from the soccer team, which I joined in the fall. It wasn’t until the spring of junior year until I began to become really close to Adam again.

During the course of that year, Adam had begun working out. Though he still liked to play video games at home all the time, he went with some of his basketball-playing friends to the gym on the weekends to lift weights. The progress showed, and I know *I* definitely appreciated the way he had begun to fill out his shirts more.

It was around this time I began to have more experience with boys as well. I had my first boyfriend in the beginning of junior year, and he was my first kiss, though we broke up a few weeks later. I began to learn how to masturbate as well, and that in turn led me to see boys in a very new light.

Throughout my time knowing Adam, I felt myself becoming more and more attracted to him. He was a funny guy, always making me laugh, and also very caring. I wasn’t sure if it was just with me, but he was always very touchy-feely when he was around me. He would place his hand on my thigh whenever I tapped/shook my leg (a habit). Whenever he did that, I would stop shaking my leg, but his hand would remain. Sometimes he would rub my inside thigh with his thumb and simply continue talking, as if his hand weren’t searing my leg with his simple touch. Obviously I could never concentrate on what he was saying whenever he did this.

Other times he would approach me and wrap his arm around my waist, leaving his hand on my stomach. He definitely noticed my breathing become more heavy, as he would smirk at me whenever I tried to disentangle myself from him. Sometimes when I was particularly horny, it was hard to not just grab him, push him to the ground, and straddle him right there. My virginal meekness would never allow me to though (a shame I never did, in retrospect).

Sometimes I would tease him in turn. At parties when we had to squeeze on the couch, I would sit on his lap and pretend not to notice his boner, shifting around on his lap to “get more comfortable.”

One particular occasion was a group sleepover after a party. A mutual friend of ours, Patrick, had invited us to his beach house for a party during the summer. There were girls and guys at the party, and we played typical games (Never Have I Ever, swimming games, Billiards, etc). Most of the kids were pretty drunk, but I knew Adam wasn’t drinking since he usually didn’t like to. I didn’t care much for it either, so we were one of the few sober people there.

During a round of Truth or Dare, Adam was asked what his favorite sex position was (or what he thought it would be, since he was a virgin). He looked at me as he answered, “Doggy-style.” Later, I was asked what my favorite sexual act was/would be, and I made sure to glance at him before I gave my response: a blowjob. It was the truth, too, though. There was something that seemed so hot about giving a guy a blowjob. I imagined what Adam’s face would look like, if I had his cock in my mouth.

That night, people slept all over the beach house. Most of the guys slept in the basement, as they fell asleep watching some horror movie. The girls took most of the bedrooms and guest rooms. I don’t remember why, but I ended up choosing to sleep on the couch in the living room. I was probably watching a movie there, after most of my friends had already gone to sleep.

Before I could fall asleep though, Adam came upstairs from the basement to join me in the living room. It was only the two of us, and it was around 3:30 am at that point. He set up a blanket on the floor near my couch, and he whispered good night to me before I began to doze off.

I’ve always been a light sleeper, and I woke up a little later feeling cold. I was a bit disoriented, as most people are immediately waking up. I sat up and was about to get up to go find an extra blanket, when I was stopped by the sound of heavy and rapid breathing. It was coming from the floor beside me, where Adam was. I immediately laid back down, not sure if Adam heard me get up in the first place.

I kept my eyes closed, pretending to be sleeping still, as I heard the telling sound, of skin rubbing against skin, and light grunts. I could hear my heart pounding rapidly in my chest, as all traces of sleep left me. I realized with horror and interest that Adam was jacking off right beside me, and I felt moisture gathering between my legs.

I stopped breathing, hoping he didn’t realize I was awake, but at the same time, I was tempted by the urge to move my hands to the warmth between my legs, which had begun to feel that restless desire, urging for some kind of release.

I swallowed nervously, realizing too late, that the gulping sound was louder than I had hoped. At the same time I tried moving my hand between my legs, but the blankets made a rustling noise. I heard Adam’s movements still for a moment, and I froze. A few seconds later, he continued.

I opened my eyes a bit, and saw the silhouette of his actions, hearing the slapping sound combined with his deep breathing. His breathing was extremely heavy at this point, and I myself was becoming extremely restless.

It was so hot, watching him, and I wondered if perhaps he was thinking of me. I began to massage myself, using one hand to fondle my breasts, and the other to play with my clit. In my fantasizing (of Adam, of course), I had forgotten to be discreet. My squirming on the couch had made rustling noises, which I forgot to care about, and I accidentally let a small moan slip out. When that happened, I froze.

I realized that the slapping sounds coming from Adam had stopped, but his breathing was erratic. When I froze, it was deadly silent, besides the sounds of our labored breaths. I was nervous, afraid of the potential awkwardness, when I suddenly heard the distinct slapping sounds again. Adam’s panting grew louder, and his grunts seemed far less restrained this time, and it seemed he had thrown caution to the wind. He definitely knew I was awake and watching.

He moaned to himself as he continued, and I continued to watch, transfixed. The floorboards began to creak, as he thrusted his hips up to meet his hand, and his motions sped up, as he became more frantic. He gave out a strangled last moan, before his motions slowed, and his pants became slower, as he gave a few final thrusts into his hand.

I heard him get up after a few moments, as I quickly shut my eyes again. I heard the sound of the sink in the bathroom turn on, as he assumably cleaned himself off. Thankfully he did not return. Instead, he went back downstairs to the basement, presumably to sleep. That left me alone in the living room, free to masturbate a countless number of times that night to the image of him pleasuring himself.

The next morning he acted normally, despite my fears of awkwardness. I would have almost believed I’d imagined it all, if it weren’t for one thing. When everyone went to pack their sleeping bags, I was left alone with him in the kitchen, as I had offered to wash the breakfast dishes.

As I was washing the dishes, I felt him grab my hips as he pressed his groin into my ass. I could feel his hardness pressing into me as he leaned down and placed his nose in my hair. He breathed in deeply. “Fuck,” he half muttered, half whispered, though I wasn’t sure if it was to me or to himself, before he quickly let go and left the room.

My heart beat rapidly, and I knew that as much as I tried to avoid it, I wanted him.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/4b8bgi/teenaged_angst_and_sexual_awakenings_the