After a long day at work, Marcus finally gets home;
“Ugh its been a long day, it would be nice if shrek came to visit me tonight” he thinks to himself, sadly, hungrily, lustfully as he unlocks the door to this tiny, shithole he calls home.
“Is there any onion juice left?” he asks himself, knowing the answer; there was none left. He had used the rest as lube when he -unknowingly- contracted herpes from his stuffed ogre toy last night, by shoving its thick, stuffed foot all the way up to his lungs; he couldnt have enough of it.
That was his hobby then, shoving stuff up his tired, overly used asshole. He never thought anything of it, you see, Marcus lived a sad life. But that was about to change. After shamefully stating that he would beat his meat later to some Rick-Michonne roleplay porn, he headed to his room.
*CREAK*
He paused at the dim lighted hallway- “what was that? Could it be-”
*CREAK*
*CREAK*
Now he knew that it was , unmistakably, the sound of his old, cranky bed being used. How could he not know? Getting to bed and giving his husband, Waldo, heaD was the high point of his day, the sole purpose of his pathetic existance.
“Could Waldo have already started without me?” he quietly says to himself with a tint of fear on his voice.
*CREAK*
*CREAK*
*CREAK*
“OH WALDO YES, LIKE THAT YOU WHOR-”
“SHUT UP SLUT! He will be here at any time now, let me finish giving you what you deserve for being such a bad bitch, you fucking head”
Confusion, sadness, rage- Marcus was suddenly filled with those emotions. His husband was being unfaithful again, he was sure of it.
“I should of seen this coming, it was all a lie, he is just in it for my foot-jobs” he whispers to himself.
As the creaking and the muffled moans intensified, Marcus, with everything he has left, uses the last drop of courage inside him to open the door.
The first thing that hits him is the strong, overwhelming smell of onions, almost knocking his socks off. The second, is seeing his husband giving it to-
“Kenan?!” he screams in disbelief.
The creaking doesnt stop.
Waldo turns his face around to reveal that he was using nothing less than the sacred shrek mask; the one him and his lover shared many sexual fantasies through but stopped as the marriage went downhill.
Waldo, with a smirk on his face after realizing Marcus’s shocked expression and Kenan’s obvious increased horniness with the situation, gets his thick, ogre-like cock out of Kenan, to put it between his affair’s toes- he was gonna finish.
Marcus noticing this with incredulity written all over his face does the only thing he could; with one swift motion, he unbuckled his belt and took his micro, green tinted penis- which he painted as a surprise for his 4th year anniversary sex-date with his husband- out of his jeans and flicks it as all the moans get synchronized into one loud, anus tearing, shrektastic chant.
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/4926z2/may_shrek_bless_us_all