I mentioned this story in a comment the other day just to demonstrate that most people only tell their best stories here. This is probably one of the most disappointing sexual encounters I’ve been a part of; you probably won’t get off reading this, nobody got off when this event occurred either. The story more or less picks up at the bold text, feel free to ask any questions or tell me how I can improve on the writing.
Just to be completely honest, I was more or less dating someone when this happened, we weren’t really serious at the time and she might have encouraged me to hook up with other people on prior occasions. Anyway, I match with a lovely brunette on tinder named Tiffany, and we chat about books and movies, and I’m just taking an interest in her as I do with these things; I am just the worst at flirting, so I don’t know how to use tinder any other way. The next day I notice that our distance drops from 5 miles to 1 mile, and I message her asking if she goes to the same college as I do, and she does, we’re both a bit surprised by this coincidence and we were going to try and meet while we were both on campus but her schedule had her in some pretty long classes so I only got to meet her for a minute or two when she took a breather from her class.
Later that day she invites me to hangout at her place with two of her friends, I bring a bottle of Wild Turkey and a bottle of sour mix. It turns out she lives in an extremely expensive neighborhood, like on an island with a guarded entrance, I almost couldn’t get in because I wasn’t sure what her last name was. When I get there, she doesn’t answer her phone, so I have to ring their doorbell; her parents show up and ask me a ton of questions, mostly about my grades and about how I’m Jewish, it was quite awkward to say the least. Let me just say that their house was architecturally amazing, I think at the time it was on the market for like $10 million. Anyway, we’re on her back patio drinking out of a mason jar and she got the ratio wrong so the alcohol taste is rather strong, then we decide to drive around to see if we can get into a bar; she and one of her friends are only 19 and they don't have fake IDs which makes this an unlikely excursion. Our quest proves ineffective and we head back to her home to have more drinks; we sit around and talk about music or what have you as the night drags on.
Her two friends decide to leave, but we try to follow after them since it wasn’t too late but we couldn’t see where they went. We’re sloppily making out in middle of the road in this quiet residential neighborhood, and I try to nibble on her breast but she tells me she's not into it. As I start to lift the bottom of her dress I tell her how much I love to eat pussy, and I start rub her clit from the outside of her panties; at this point we are completely sloshed and clumsily swaying in the middle of the road. It begins to drizzle, so we head back to the covered patio, the lights on the first floor of her home so it's safe to say that her parents are off to bed. She tells me that I can eat her pussy if I want but she forgot to shave and that she was on her period; I have no qualms with this and tell her as much. She slides down her seat, lifts her dress, then slides off her panties. I get on my knees in front of her, spread her legs apart, and my tongue slips between her slit and I do my thing. I’m going down on her for what seems like a very long time, and then she starts to tell me that I should be going to the left which really perplexes me, I continue for a while but being this drunk and having my eyes closed for this long starts giving me the spins. In my most slurred voice, I tell her that it’s not her but I’m feeling sick, so she helps to her boat dock and I throw up into the bay. Clearly the night’s been ruined, and there’s no way I can get drive myself home in the condition I’m in. The doors to her house are locked, so we have to call her parents to open it up for us, her mom shows me to a guest room and I fall asleep almost instantly.
The next morning I wake up rather early, my phone’s been dead for hours and I head down to the kitchen where I talk to Tiffany’s parents and wait for her to come down so I can say bye. Her sister eventually comes down and tells me that Tiffany isn’t feeling well and won’t be coming down; my guess is that she’s either too embarrassed or too hungover.
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/41krbk/disappointing_sexual_encounters_ends_abruptly
You’ll be gratified to know that this story left me — and, apparently, everyone else who commented here — sad and limp: it reminded us of our own lives. But I salute your attempt to make your point: *well-put, sir*!
If it’s any consolation, she did give me another chance a couple months later; her clit was still misaligned, but I was sober enough to adjust and get her to climax.