Hey, posted chapter one of this about a month ago and chapter two just the other day, was advised that you might like it here as well! I'd post it as a self post but it's very long and all of the formatting I used (italic tags etc) were designed for a forum post, so rather than trying to reformat it for Reddit I'll just link to the original posts. If however a lot of people on Reddit seem to like it, I'll consider writing the next chapter with dual formatting, although I'm not entirely sure how I would do that :p
This is a Harry Potter fanfic, but I reckon even without any knowledge of Harry Potter, people into FemDom or BDSM can probably still enjoy it, although obviously a previous knowledge of the characters' backstories and relationships enhances the story.
Chapter 3 will begin being written shortly, so if you liked the story and have any suggestions, please let me know in the comments either here or in the original forum threads. Hope someone enjoys!
Chapter one: http://www.orgasmdenial.com/forums/showthread.php?t=13053
Chapter two: http://www.orgasmdenial.com/forums/showthread.php?t=13143
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/3ly09m/ron_weasley_and_the_wicked_witches_chapters_one
It’s not normally my preferred genre, but I gave it a go, anyway, since it’s Harry Potter based. I’ll write a few thoughts as I’m reading it: * culture shock doesn’t mean what you seem to think it means. It has nothing to do with the weather; instead, it’s about the shock experienced as a result of the actual difference in *culture* between two different places. * "herself and Harry" -> "she and Harry". In any case like this, simply remove the second person and see how it sounds. "Herself was throwing a party" doesn’t make sense, does it? "She was throwing a party", on the other hand, does. * "hitherto". No problems here. I just want to ask, is it weird that I find correct use of words like this hot? * Herself and Harry, again. * "The normally glamorous Ginny looked and sounded like a junkie for Hermione’s sex – hair messily strewn around her shoulders, arms clamped tightly against Hermione’s buttocks". Not normally my thing, but this description was really great. But anyway, this seemed really good. Mostly very well written, and I rather enjoyed it despite not being especially turned on by most of the content (as I said, femdom doesn’t do much for me in general). By the way, this sub is pretty much dead as far as good content is concerned. It’s mostly just people shilling their stories on Amazon and other paid content. You might be better off posting to /r/bdsmerotica, /r/erotica, and /r/sexystories.
/r/sexystories was where I initially intended to publish, but they don’t allow out-links to stories hosted elsewhere and I really, really, ***really*** despise Reddit’s formatting limitations when compared to forums, particularly the inability to have blank lines between paragraphs. I will consider trying to adapt it, however. Regarding your grammatical observations, I think the issue here is that I’m Irish, and as such speak "Hiberno-English" as opposed to standard English. In Ireland, the words "him" as "himself" tend to e used interchangeably (for example, "who was at the game last night?" "Well, ”twas myself and Johnny, and sure himself was still wrecked after his trip" etc). Same for the culture shock issue – in Dublin that literally just means the shock of coming from any environment into a vastly different environment, be it socially, weatherly, professionally, etc. But I’ll make an effort to keep such Irishisms out of chapter 3 if they’re a major issue in terms of enjoying the story. Thanks for the feedback, glad you enjoyed it :D