[F] My summer sub/dom relationship

My name is Mila. Ive had lots of reddit accounts and have posted a lot of pictures over the last 1 plus years and I've also told a lot of people about my special relationship that i've been involved in for the last 3 years. Reddit has been a way for me to talk about my relationship with people since its always been something I've kept secret from everyone in my life. I've really liked being able to talk about it even though I've had a lot of people be pretty mean to me about it too, which is why i delete my accounts a lot, but end up coming back because I miss being able to share this huge secret with anyone. Especially since its a huge part of my life. I'm just starting my sophomore year of college and am back living at the dorms on campus. Its been a strange adjustment coming back here after spending my entire summer living with my dom and not really seeing a lot of my friends. Its also weird since I feel like i spent half of the summer not wearing any clothes and having a lot of sex. Now i have to wear clothes everyday and I'm not having sex lol. Its weird too because looking back, I was nervous about living with him all summer and doing all the things he planned on doing to me, but now that its all over, I kinda miss it. There are a few things I don't miss i guess and my pussy definitely needs a break for a while though lol. The thing is, I feel like having been in a relationship like this and doing so many things sexually that I probably would have never done before, I feel like my whole life is based around sex. Its really all i think about and I feel like all I am is a sexual object to be used and manipulated and I don't like that. As i've gotten older I feel like my self esteem has gotten worse and I do have a lot of anxiety most of the time and I think it stems from this relationship. The problem is I don't want to end it. I love the way he treats me and the sex we have and normal sex doesn't even turn me on so I really don't know what to do. I know that nobody on here has the answer, its just comforting to be able to share it with people. Part of me just wants to pack up all my stuff and drive back to his house and take off all my clothes and just be his toy for the rest of my life lol. I know I can't do that tho. I'm happy to answer any questions people have for me and like i said it does help to be able to share with people. I think my real goal at this point in my life and with this new semester is to focus my life on more productive things and try to feel like a normal person again and not just a sex object. Having said that here is a topless picture I've posted before, just so you know what I look like. And since everyone always asks for some reason, I'm half black and half thai, I'm 5'6, I'm 19, and they are 32b lol.

me :) http://imgur.com/96Pg8mw

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/3jw3f3/f_my_summer_subdom_relationship