I'm young, dumb, and in love. She's a slut, as others would say. Normally, I would say the same. I have a feeling that if any other girl at any point, before during or after, our relationship would have done any of the things 'she' did i would be out of that picture asap.
Here's a Tl;DR; (ok somewhat long tldr) of our relationship: I'm 22 as of writing, this started almost exactly 2.5 years ago.. She got dumped by a guy she put her heart into, was broken, rebounded with several freinds+benef., found me months later and immediately, as unbelievable or incredulous as it may sound, we both knew we wanted to date (this is some paranormal shit right here let me tell you). I've dated other girls, she's dated other guys, we both IMMEDIATELY and days after grew so close that I would have married her and vice-versa if we were older and had steady, secure jobs, I guarantee we would have! She was the perfect girl.. except for the fact that she wasn't yet over her ex, he has the same name as me so that was the 1st red flag.. anyways, enough drama-for-a-full-season-of-a-prime-time-Soap-Opera and a year later, and after a temporary break up, we both realize that holy shit we both fucked up several times and admitted it and forgive each other because we love each other enough to look past our mistakes and NOW we're ready to have a SERIOUS commited relationship
I come back from vacation a month later, see her that same night.. take her out to a lake on a dreamy night, under the stars, it's almost too perfect.. actually, it was definitely the most perfect night I could ever ask for in my entire life. We talked, kissed, and then.. wow.. it's just too magical for words.. but here it is in simplest terms: We imprinted on each other. There is no other explenation on earth. I felt her soul, she felt mine, I looked into the eyes of the woman I had been searching for my whole (young) life, "the woman i will some day marry", I no doubt thought in my mind. She looks into my teary eyes and asks whats the matter.. i just say, "i think.. i think i want to marry you", and she just gives me this look like " i know, i feel the same way", now, I'm smart enough not to fall in love for someone I won't love forever and THIS was the real deal. She kept asking me what was wrong, I kept crying and just holding her smooth naked body.. for the first time in over a year of our relationship I saw her the way i had always wanted to see her, and i couldn't believe my eyes.. she was pure, innocent, a beuatiful virgin.. and she was all mine, for the first time since i met her she was an angel, my perfect little angel. Just laying below by torso and giving herself up fully to me, entrusting me with her most valued and precious artictle; her love. I had the perfect girl, the one I had only dreamed about til that starry night. and a full year had led to this perfect moment of total emotional immersion of our two souls. Surprisingly I still hadn't penetrated her that night, my emotions were so strong and her gaze so pure that I hadnt even attemped it, I hadnt felt the need to physically do it. But even then we WERE making love. Caressing each other with so much meaning behind every touch, breathing hard into each others necks, gazing so deep into each others eyes as if we wanted it to last the entire night and in all honestly we both did. we felt truly connected as one single organism, we were in prefect union. and slowly but intensly we would touch lips and each time our lips grazed even a tiny bit was 100x better than any orgasm I ever felt before. We might as well have not even had penetration that night, what we were feeling was already far too intense, uphoric to the point of feeling as if we were close to overdosing on love, it was what I would only imagine to be felt by a husband and wife, who having waiting years finally gave each other up for the first moment of making love. We could have gone the entire night just holding each other and I content with having her by my side and to hold close; to hear her heartbeat on her soft breast. Eventually we did try to 'go in'. Excuse the imagery, but as hard as it is to describe is how unbelievably amazing it was. To experience this. Something many might not ever feel in their lifetime.. My penis could not physically enter, my entire nervous system seemed to stem from my member, each touch was like sexual lighting going through my body, I could only break down in tears and hug her so tight as if she was to leave me forever if I didnt.. but that's something I regretably would soon learn to be true
My story is true, the pain is real, and the story still continues to unfold.. I can only write this much for tonight. This is my life, I have been lost in a storm of pain and emotion for the last few weeks.. writing this down here seems like a good way to cope with it. This will be my journal, and I welcome you as friends and company to be part of it. If you wish to contribute and perhaps help me make the best decisions then I would sincerely appreciate your opinions and advice. It is now very late for me and I must be up early. I do wish to continue this story, perhaps tomorrow or perhaps another night. If you have made it this far I thank you for your time. I deserve nothing from you. You are lucky to not be in my shoes and most likely do not want to read about my sorrows. But if you do, I urge that you let me know, let me hear from your words how it is that this has made you feel. I want to believe that I felt was real, and if any part of you believes it was indeed true love then all my efforts and pain have been worth it, Thank you. -D.B.
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/3atinl/mf_i_might_have_fallen_too_deeply_in_love_and_i
hmmm. I have a somewhat bi-polar view of this. 1. You are none other than Paul Rudd’s character in 40 Year Old Virgin and will follow this story with a saga of stalker’s tales that would facilitate optioning the Catfish series to a major studio several times over. 2. You have a view of love, destiny and souls that is very similar to my own and, as the story did speak to me, I feel somewhat humbled by your ability to channel the feelings of loss that I know you are soon to intimate with the rest of the hive mind. I can see some real passion in there, but: " I’ve dated other girls, she’s dated other guys," -this implies you have *experience*. "My penis could not physically enter, my entire nervous system seemed to stem from my member, each touch was like sexual lighting going through my body, I could only break down in tears and hug her so tight as if she was to leave me forever if I didnt.." – Okay okay. I gotta stop you right there, man. This implies your experience did you nooooo good. Experience would tell you that there is plenty of time for: baring your all, crying after sex, brutal honesty, and entering into a legal binding institution with physically tangible ramifications–based on physically intangible feelings. I don’t even know how this ends yet, but I can see already that you rushed it. let the honeymoon phase marinate for awhile next time. Rings and contracts will NOT change anything. I mean that both ways; it will not reassure someone that you love them, and it will not reassure you that someone loves you! That shit is inconsequential when it comes to the things that you and I hold dear (soul mates, destiny and all that). The real TL;DR = I rushed into my first true love. But so does everyone. If we were really right there together, through this whole thing, she would have stayed. Therefore, at *some* point near the end, my fantasy diverged away from reality. Lesson learned, just take it slow.
Thank you SOOO frikin much man/gal. I’m glad I found someone who understands. I know I’m not ‘normal’ and yes you pegged me right, I’m a hyper-romantic type and I much prefer real feelings to just anonymous encounters. That’s something I learned the hard way. I have experience but she was my first, and only. I lost my virginity to her, then regretted it but ultimately came to terms with it and don’t care as much since it revealed so much of myself that I didn’t know existed. And no its wasn’t as much that I felt she would leave me at the time, more like I didn’t keep kindling the fire and it eventually died out on both parts due to my negligence, now there’s a giant empty pit where that fire once blazed. It hurts, it sucks, but lesson learned. I know she’ll be in my life again eventually as friends hopefully, you don’t bond with someone like that and just forget about them, even if you wanted to, I’m sure you understand.
Love is a fairy tale
Unfortunately not, doesn’t seem to be a happy ending here.. I’m depressed at this point. I’ve decided to cut her out of my life for good, I will see her one last time to explain why I will do this
of course. I actually married mine–in secret no less. Then, over three years, we ventured out into the real world and I realized, slowly, that we were totally different. She was pretty up front about what she wanted, and I thought I was too. But I realize now that I don’t believe in the same things she does. This depresses ME, because I know how easy it would be to just settle down the way she wanted. I just couldn’t do it. My options now are: 1. find contentment in a life not tied down to anyone/never have to open up/never have to take a risk/etc and risk feeling lonely at the end, or 2. Try to become more tolerant of women and their issues in general and either go get her back (she can’t seem to get over the breakup anyway) or find someone else I click with and REALLY hope that the fire doesn’t burn out. So many unknowns, my lifetime may be spent just feeling afraid to to take a single step in any direction. Life sucks when you think too much, man. :-