The Squirter Story

This is sophomore year of college and its finals week. My buddy Mike (a pretty boy player) and I have a final on Saturday morning and we drive in to school to take it. Another buddy of mine Arthur (chubby 5 ft tall munchkin looking fella) is in the library at this time studying for his final that he has Sunday morning.

Mike and I make plans to go play bball after our final and we ask Arthur if he wants to join. He says yes, but that he really needed to study so he was only going to play for a couple of hours. We meet up after class and go play basketball. Mind you Arthur thought that we would be playing in the school gym, we ended up driving about an hour away to a basketball court in Brooklyn. He hadn’t realized that was what he was agreeing to when we asked him if he wanted in, but he’s the kind of person who struggles with saying no to bad ideas so he agrees to still come reluctantly.

The entire time we are at the court he’s complaining that he needs to get back, that he needs to study. We got to the court at about 2PM and we were now leaving and it was around 7. Arthur is asking us to drop him off back at the school, but I convince him that he should just come to my place and we could study there, because I had another final on Monday that I needed to study for as well. Reluctantly he agrees again.

Mike drops us off at my house in Staten Island, and it’s about 9pm and we finally get to studying.

At 10Pm Mike calls me to let me know he was going to be headed to a house-party by my place and asked if I wanted in. I said no I had to study. Arthur was relieved.

At about 1130Pm Mike calls back, says the party was whack, says he’s headed into the city to pick up a check from this lounge he worked at and asked if we wanted to go have a few drinks. I said are we coming right back? He said yes, just there and back and I agreed. I told Arthur, dude I’m gonna head out. He’s like you fuck you told me we were going to study!

I said dude just stay here, you’re free to study at my place. He says he aint staying at my place without me and joins us… bitching the whole ride about how we ruined all his plans, that he should have never went to ball. That its midnight already and he hasn’t studied yet. I reassured him that we will just be there and back we still had plenty of time.

We arrive at the lounge and my promoter friend Doofy (Tall lanky kid with bad decision making and an alcohol problem) is there and he has two bottles and nobody to help him drink them. I look at Arthur and he’s like “NO! We are going home!”.. I said “dude common one drink and then we will leave”. We start drinking and everybody gets into party mode. Mike, myself & even Arthur. He was forgetting about those responsibilities rather quickly.

At this point Doofy has two girls dancing at his table and one of them decides to sit next to me. We start chatting and before you know it we are drinking and making out on the couch.

Arthur pops in and says “Fuck its 3! Let’s go I need to study.” Mike is also ready to leave since he wasn’t really there to party and was just picking up a check. I on the other hand don’t really want to leave as I am “getting to know someone a little better”. But something happens.

I get a call from my cousin at this very moment and she just popped two tires in her car a couple of avenues away from us. She drove the same car as Mike and asked if Mike could deliver his spare so that she could put it on her car to drive home.

I had no choice I couldn’t leave my cousin hanging so I had to leave.

The girl tells me that she also lives in Staten Island and that she was also going to leave soon and that we should meet back at her place. I get her number, and ask her what her address is. She mumbles something like Forrest. But I don’t really pay attention because she has her phone on her. I tell her to grab one of Doofy’s bottles when she leaves, because there was too much alcohol and we weren’t going to be able to finish it.

We leave, get my cousins tires fixed and are left with a decision. I call the girl and she tells me she is getting on the ferry right now, that it’s her and her friend, and that we should come by.

Mike says he isn’t willing to drive us to her place, Arthur is on the fence. I tell him “dude common you will get some ass, she has a friend”. He reluctantly puts his responsibilities aside and agrees to go on this adventure with me. My cousin agrees to drive us to their place. We leave Mike.

It’s about 415 and we make it into Staten Island. Not really sure where to go I try and call the girl. No answer. My cousin & Arthur are both telling me, lets just go home fuck it. I say no, she just doesn’t have service, let’s drive to Forest put it in your navi. Problem is, there’s a forest avenue and a forest street. Which forest do we go to?

I’m like uhhhhh, fuck it just pick street. Everyone in the car is pissed that I’m dragging them on this adventure. I tell my cousin, look at 430 she’s off the ferry if she doesn’t pick up then we can go. Arthur is pissed but is still willing to try and see what happens.

We pull up to Forest street and its 432 at this time. Girl is still not answering. Her phone screen is broken (old school flip phone- so texting her wasn’t an option). Waiting and waiting it’s now 437 and everyone is saying fuck this, she changed her mind. I’m like no let’s give her until 445 (it should take about that time from the ferry to make it where we were) so we wait.

Next thing I know this jeep comes swerving around the corner, parks like a plastered person. I’m like that has to be them! We get out of the car, Arthur and I.

Low and behold it is them! Fuck yea! She pops out of the car tipsy as fuck and says “OMG! I can’t believe you’re here!” We leave my cousin and go into her apartment. Me, her, Arthur & her friend.

A little back story for a moment; Arthur is a year younger than and was 19 at the time. I’m 20. My girl is 21 and her friend that I want Arthur to hook up with… she’s 26 and an accountant who’s visiting her friend from Connecticut. Remember Arthur is 5 ft tall and chubby, he barely looked 15 at this point.

We get into her apartment and she takes off her jacket. BAM! She fucking brought the bottle like a boss!

All of us are stunned we start pouring out drinks.

We are drinking and it’s probably about 15 minutes into us being in the house. I ask her hey do you have any chasers. Now stay with what is about to happen.

She goes to the fridge opens the door and says “Yea I have cranberry juice”. I say “Can I have some cranberry juice”, She says “Do you want some cranberry juice?” I’m like yea “Can you bring the cranberry juice”. She’s like “cranberry juice?”. I’m like “yea for the shots”. She’s like “Shower?”. Gets butt as naked and walks into the shower.

I look at Arthur and her friend…. And say ummmm..should I correct her? Guess not and I decide to join.

I walk into the bathroom and we start showering.

Break for a second, you have to know what’s happening to Arthur at this point. Mind you its 5Am at this time, the dude has a final he has to be at by 9 and he hasn’t studied one lick. He is now somehow trying to smooth talk his way into the pants of a girl who’s way older, and who doesn’t look like she wants to be there at all.

He pours her a drink and they start chatting. Well I can’t really say they “started a conversation” this was the extent of it. Arthur- “Hey how are you”. Her- “Good”. Arthur- “Do you want to take a tour of the place?” Her-“ I’ve been here before. I know what it looks like”. Him- “Uhhh ok… CHEERS!”. Her-“ I’m going to bed”.

Yea, I know what you’re thinking right now. Poor Arthur.

Anyways so back into the shower, me and her are having awesome shower sex and its fucking hot as hell. Until….. Until all of a sudden she turns off the shower and says “I have to tell you something”. In my mind “ Oh fuck! Oh fuck! I have Aids I know it! Fuck! Why didn’t I wear a condom! Fuck me! I’ll never be bad again! Fuck!” She says in a soft whisper “I’m a squirter”. I said “huh?”. She said “I’m a squirter”. My eyes lit up! I picked her up and two naked wet bodies go running through the living room into her bedroom.

Arthur is on the couch drinking his sorrows away with the girl passed out. Arthur yells “Motherfucker its almost 6AM! You piece of shit! Hurry up I need to go home! I fucking hate you!”. I yell back “Dude be done in a couple of minutes”.

We get into the bedroom and I have probably what I’d consider the best sex of my life. I was at the perfect point of having enough alcohol in me where I could last forever and at the same time keep a boner and make it feel good. I’m not exaggerating when I say this but she came about 10 times that night. There’s no faking an orgasm with a squirter. She popped my dick out every time she came. Arthur- Will later describe this as “It sounded like a butcher shop. I don’t know wtf they were doing but it sounded like he was killing her”.

The entire time my twisted self didn’t want to cum because I wanted her to finish me off with a blowjob. I wanted her to lick her juices off my cock, so I could sleep peacefully. She’s about to agree to the blow job when we here the doorbell ring. WTF?

Thinking Arthur would answer it, it keeps ringing. She tells me to go answer it. I go to the door, see that Arthur isn’t in the living room. I open it and it’s him, he locked himself out when he went outside to smoke a cigarette. I remember this moment vividly, because the first thing I said to him was “Dude why the fuck are you wearing my shoes?”. Naked ass me, opening the door at 630AM see my friend who is pissed and angry, and the first thing I say to him is.. ‘yo why u in my shoes?”

He says “Are fucking done yet you bastard. I said dude promise 15 minutes tops”. I run back to the room and she agrees to give me head. As she gets into the position and as I lay down on the bed, everything shuts down. I pass the fuck out! Arthur also passes the fuck out! She passes the fuck out!

830AM- KNOCK!KNOCK!KNOCK! “MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!! I’m late for the FINAL! You PIECE OF SHIT!”

Oh shit, I dun fucked up now. It’s 830AM the dude has 30 minutes to make it to his final. We still have to stop at my place and we have no way of getting there. Mind you my cousin dropped us off last night so I have no car.

I wake up my girl and she says she can drop us off at my place, no problem.

Arthur is beyond pissed. We make it to my place, get my car and I get Arthur to his final by 945. He is 45 minutes late.

He will later go on to tell me that everyone looked at him and thought he was on drugs. His final was one of those where you had to write your answers in a blue notebook. 30 minutes into him taking the test he had to ask the professor for a new book. He was writing diagonally on the first one.

After dropping off Arthur I was also kind of pissed. I never got to bust my nut. I call up the girl and say hey I’m coming back. She agrees and I get to her place. We fuck some more, I finally get my blow job and I pass out.

Now mind you no one knows where I am at this point and my phone is dead. They know I dropped off Arthur but no one has heard from me after that. I wake up and it’s about 4pm.

Eventually being able to charge my phone, I was able to let my overbearing mother know that I was alive. It was much harder explaining where I was.. but that didn’t matter.

I ended up spending a week with the squirter and it was one of the best weeks ever. She was a cool chick and obviously a great lay. Ah to be young again……

So that’s the squirter story. It will forever live on in infamy. Arthur’s version is even greater. His perspective is hilarious; I wish you could hear it too. Oh yea.. speaking of Arthur he got a B on the Final and a story that will live on for the rest of our lives. I’d say that’s a win.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/36sidy/the_squirter_story