Not So Innocent VII…

Part I – http://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/32n5cr/not_so_innocent_mf/

Part II – http://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/32rfir/not_so_innocent_part_2/

Part III – http://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/32w211/not_so_innocent_part_3/

Part IV – http://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/336g6g/no_so_innocent_iv/

Part V – http://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/33vfns/no_so_innocent_v/

Part VI – http://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/34hczq/not_so_innocentvi/

May 17th, 2014

Graduation day. Holy shit, I would have never imagined this day would come. It seemed like yesterday I was lying on my bed, in my freshman dorm, asking myself repeatedly just exactly what the fuck I was doing here. Damn what journey. And to this day, I couldn’t ask for better to finish it with than with Ashley.

Regardless of her being engaged and the wedding less than a month away. She was there for me. She was sincerely there for and with me, at the finish line. To me, that’s a blessing, gift, and faith in one. I didn’t have any girlfriends in college, just some flings and FWB’s, nothing emotional. But Ashley was there for me. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually. She would bend over backwards for me, just so she could see me on this day.

Graduation was 10:30 if I remember right. Me and buddy Skyler were graduating together with Business degree, with a study focus in Finance. We’d call ourselves “Finance Boyz”, we were ridiculous in school. We had to be there at 9:30. Ashley was coming to my graduation. She arrived at my apartment at around 7AM, me still in bed and the front door unlocked, she came right in, took off her clothes, and hopped in bed with me. Her warm body pressing up against mine, her fruit water taste on her lips, and her eyes staring lasers into mine. My peripherals would fade away whenever I was with her. I kissed her, which led into a deep sensual kissing session, to me finding way inside of her and just having good sex with her that morning.

Now in between my last post, and this day, we didn’t fuck anymore. We were hate fucking. I mean, HATE fucking. I treated her like stripper/slut/whore/whatever in the bedroom. I wrecked her, dominated her, and belittled her as much as I could during sex. It was like anger, lust, and the thought of us not being together all in one. We would get wild, almost fighting/wrestling each other. I would go to smack her, choke her, bite her and pound her, and yet she would do the same. I mean, it looked like a cage fight in my bed, lol. When we were done, we would have marks all over. I didn’t care, and she didn’t care even if her fiancé saw them. We would fuck all night too. From literally pushing her down on my bed, forcing myself on to her, grabbing her neck and jaw, telling her how worthless she was, that she was just little slut and nothing more to me. She would never talk back because she was submissive, but she would get physical with me, trying to fight against my arms pinning her arms back, or while fucking her missionary to grabbing her throat with both hands and choking her until she would start slapping me, and of course I would let go when I knew she couldn’t hold her breath any longer.

Once we were done, we would chill for a while and watch The Office or Parks and Recs, and then whenever I got my energy, I would usually force her head down on my cock, and tell her to be good girl and start sucking. This would then lead to me grabbing her and laying her down, and face fucking her while she lay on my bed. Still, I didn’t care about her pleasure or well-being, I just wanted to fuck. That was us from mid-April to this day. I’m pretty sure it was because we weren’t going to be together, but we wanted each other. The thoughts and emotions just made us angry at each other for some reason. I knew I couldn’t have her and she knew she couldn’t have me.

But on this day, it didn’t matter. It was the happiest day of my life. And I wouldn’t want it any other way than to spend it with all of my family and Ashley. Come to think of it, when we had sex that morning, I remember just smiling the whole time.

So, almost done writing this fucked up, lovely, ambitious, gut wrenching, heart shattering, hell of time of my life, I just want to thank you all again for reading this. It took a lot to write this, as I have gone through everything to try and heal from this – from personal therapy, medication (Lexapro), massive states of depression, to literally breaking down and calling the suicide hotline one night because I was just broken. All of the regret, remorse, anger, and disappointment came all out at once and it broke me.

We still talked to each other after my graduation until her wedding day. We fucked one more time during that time… A week before her wedding, as pitiful as that sounds, but whatever, I was horny, she was lonely, and I told her to get her ass over here and let me take care of you.

I attended her wedding after telling myself multiple times not to. But I do what I always did when I can’t make up my mind and flip a coin. Heads I went, tails I drove back to my apartment.

Heads

I don’t remember much that day as I got plastered that night. Free beer at a wedding, fuck why not. I stupidly drove back to my parents’ house drunk. My brother was there, and I was sat there on the couch. He told me has never seen me do defeated in my life, considering he tells me I’m the most mentally strong person he knows. He said I looked like depression. He might have been right. I was drunk, tired, sad, and defeated. I watched another man marry my best friend my lover, my girl of the last 6 months. I know that sounds selfish, but we were unstoppable together. Nothing could touch us when we were a pair.

Well this timeline is almost coming to an end. The 8th installment will be the last. Again, thanks for reading. I hope I wrote well enough to transfer you to a realm of my life that I will always remember; no matter how hard I try to forget it.

I’ll end this post with some of my favorite quotes:

“It is a melancholy truth that even great men have poor relations.” – Charles Dickens

“Hide nothing, for time, which sees all and hears all, exposes all.” – Sophocles

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/35o4a3/not_so_innocent_vii