I cheat on my long term girlfriend with men

Throw away account… I've been with my girlfriend for over 2 years and we got together when I was 17 and now I'm 20.

When I was 17 and before I was with her I discovered I was Bi by having sex with a 31 year old ugly broke at a party… extremely enjoyed it but only very few people in my life even know that that happened.

A few months later I met my girlfriend we will call her Asiia. 2 months into my relationship we are having regular good sex near enough every weekend. I eventually love her (which I still do) everything is great buy after a while sex with her is still pretty fantastic but it's missing that cutting edge… she goes to another country on holiday and my best friend comes over to stay for the weekend… lads weekend! We get a bit drunk and he goes on to tell me he hasn't done anything sexual with a girl in about a year (he doesn't know that I might be bi I don't think he is) he suggests to me that he just wants a girl to suck his cock and drunkenly I replied that I could do it instead and laughed… He said yea sure. So I start blowing him. We will call him Alan… so I am blowing Alan and I start getting naked… He says let me suck you off and I replied no because I just enjoyed doing it… His cock is a lot bigger then the 31 year old I enjoyed nearly a year ago at this point. He fucked me first from behind and grabbed my hair (no condom on, but I know he didn't have any STDs because of his sexual history and I didn't because I have only ever used a condom) afterwards he came in my ass which was a weird but almost beautiful sensation and pulled out… He said he needed to go wash his cock because there was a bit of shit on it but I said no because I wanted to suck it off… I don't know what it was about doing it but it was so dirty and filthy that I just didn't know what to think I just knew it would be the dirtiest thing I would do. We had sex once more that night but I was a bit too drunk at that point and it was all a bit of a blur.

Weeks later I find myself not even caring about what I have done because it was with a man not a woman… It didn't feel like cheating because all I could and still think now that it's only a dude and of my girlfriend found out yea she would dump me but she wouldn't feel sad about it.

Alan gives me a message some months after it had happened saying to me that he wants it to happen again even though we didn't do anything since that night or even spoken. I told him that I don't know if it was a good idea… eventually I got more and more curious about my sexuality so I rang him up and told him I will go to him. He was weird about it suddenly and didn't want to.

By this point I had a craving for cock which I never had before in my life. I knew my girlfriend wouldn't want to be dominating me in the bedroom because I was am a complete firm dominant person. I used anything I could find that was cock shaped and tried to shove it up my ass to satisfy my needs but it wasn't the same.

I remembered that the 31 year old guy I had sex with a year ago was friends with my best female friend who's party it was so I got his contact details and I explained that I was still curious and wanted to meet up. I saw him and he was fatter and more hideous then before and honestly it turned me on. He took me back to his and I have never been smashed and thrown around so much in my life the only way I could describe it was enjoyable rape… I started off by giving him a blumkin (Blow job while he shits on the toilet) I did it even though I wasn't into it and afterwards he stood up, told me to get on my back on the bathroom floor and squatted over my face and told me to lick his shitty ass clean I told him it was to much and he slapped me across the face and said he would hurt me even more if I said no again… I started crying but really I was turned on by what was happening… I licked his asshole clean for about 2 minutes and then threw up in the toilet. After I puked he grabbed my hair held me up and put me in the shower and pissed on my face… It was amazing so warm I swallowed as much as I could but I couldn't do it all… He went on to fuck me In the ass (didn't last long) I said thank you and left. I get a text from him the next morning telling me he knows I have a girlfriend and unless I satisfy him regularly he would tell everyone I know and destroy me. I felt trapped in a corner but again excited because I liked the thought of being a sex slave.

Once a month I would do horrendous things with this foul human being but (near enough) love every second of it. Some things included me eating lumps of shit occasionally, him and his friend with a really weird clock (it had a really small head but was much bigger then the other guys) taking their turn with me, my cock and balls being slapped a lot and once they took my phone and tied me up for about 12 hours and tested how much I could fit in my ass and mouth. Eventually the now 33 year old moved to another country and I felt like I was free because although I enjoyed it I had no choice because I'm in love.

After a while I get really bored again and just wanted dirty things to happen to me. So nights by myself I would try and contact his friend that would sometimes fuck me (the one with the weird cock) he wasn't that interested anymore.

I didn't do anything for a while but regularly browse Craigslist in my area to find a man that discretely wants to just use me. Waiting for it this is my life…

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/35ezfz/i_cheat_on_my_long_term_girlfriend_with_men