I [M] went down on therapist [F] and now I have to find another therapist – cool and not cool

I love oral. It's what I fantasize about. I've had oral with all women I've had relations with except 2 – one stopped me when my tongue went inside and not just on the clit.

OK – so I have no sexual relationship with my wife. I've masturbated since I was 5. I grew up in Mormon-ville with guilt. I pleasured myself in all kinds of places I shouldn't. I have OCD (never really knew it until recently), anxiety disorder, and possibly (testing underway) for manic-depressive tendencies. My job sucks. My sex life sucks. I spank at least once a day, mostly twice. I fantasize about going down on men – just once (I've actually gone down twice – once on a dare where it was a one-second thing, and another when someone was talking deep throat and I kind of found this secondary friend mildly attractive, and I deep throated for about 3 seconds, gagged, and he laughed and said that's enough. We later helped each other out a bit.)

OK – so I'm a head case. Over 20 years I've been through actual therapy twice. The first one was too embarrassing and discovery of maturity. The second i git serious but couldn't really come clean, and then said more of what I wanted to.

So – after 3 years of getting myself ready, I saw somebody new. An average looking woman about 50-53 I'd say. I'm 47. Sessions 1-5 were uncovering what we could objectively. Eventually we got to the "sex problems". I went through all the stupid stuff, and she asked if I was bi-sexual. I said no. Then i said maybe. She perked up. Maybe? And I told her of oral being my fav in the sack. I had 2 brief encounters with men – and it turned me on. I sometimes fantasize about it, but have never acted on it in 20 years.

"Is there something wrong with traditional intercourse?" Well, the discussion went on and on, and into another session. Sexual problems. Wife's sexual issues. Masturbation from age 5. sexual contact from age 5 to 10 with several other youth. But, the first time i really had oral with a woman, it was all I could think about. It just drove me buts. She asked about if anyone had done some form of oral act on me, which had not occurred.

Now – quite frankly – i wish it didn't, but this gave me a chubby. I said that I absolutely love doing this head scratch, back scratch, whole thing which leads me to go down, and for some strange reason i said I like it like crazy when a woman lies on her stomach and I start kissing her slowly down her back and make my way to the front.

She said that it's not appropriate to discuss things like this. Specifics are out of bounds. I said ok. But going down from behind gets me in trouble and I feel really guilty, but I just enjoy it so much.

She froze. Literally. Like, just stared. And I said, to her, "I must have gone too far. Did I say too much?" She said, and this freaked me out "uh, oh, (and she let her breath out, she shifted in her seat a bit) um, let's stop about specifics."

So I'm an idiot, I just got a b it hard. And I said, "you don't get people saying that, do you? Have you ever had oral sex? Have you ever had someone do that?"

Her response was, "well, not like you are saying. Oh my. I don't know what to say. We need to stop." I said, "we've got 30 minutes, how about you decide first hand."

OK – I'm a fucking idiot. So i stood up and she stared straight ahead and I started scratching her head, and it took about 30 seconds and she starts relaxing, so i start scratching her shoulders, then down her back a bit. So i kneel in front of her, and I scratch her calves just to see. I'm shaking in my boots.

She pants, and sighs, so I just hike her dress up slowly and massage and scratch her thighs, and by that point its all done. So I just went to her knees and started kissing up towards her vag. I'm freaking out. She's probably going to yell rape, right? So I kiss her through her panties, and slowly take them aside, and she is relaxing and leaning back, then rocking a bit, so I take her panties down while I'm kissing her. It took like 30 seconds and she's getting a little verbal so i put my fingers up in her mouth to quiet her down. She has an orgasm – not a great one – and immediately pulls away and says "you have to go right now. Please don't come back." She left into an adjoining room. Not really a surprise, but I've got a hard on. So I go to the car, drive around, and finish myself off in my car in a quiet location thinking about that experience that will never ever happen again.

I get a letter that says her services cannot continue and I need to inform her as to where to send my records.

So now I have to start over. And – as much as it sound bad – I will not go that far in my descriptions.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/31phyd/i_m_went_down_on_therapist_f_and_now_i_have_to