It was a college party. I was a late bloomer, still am. I think I'm reasonably pretty. Kind of cute in a girlish sort of way, kind of sharp features that come off like a forced smile. It always comes off as a bit unsure, a bit off. I've never been able to fix that. I've spent my whole life trying to fit into a mold set by other people and always coming out the wrong shape. It didn't help that I was a bit overweight too. Not in a way that would be noticeable, but enough to see a little belly. All in all, I was a mess without even realizing it. I had no fashion sense, I had no sense of social presence. Worst of all, I never learned the artifice of being a woman. I never learned to flirt, to feign interest, to act nonchalant and seductive. I wore a dress. The theme was something that involved pants. I sort of walked around, drinking my who knows what in an opaque cup. I was a part of a group, but my friends never really seemed to like me that much. Was I off-putting? Perhaps I tried to hard and in the end they gave up. I never knew how to connect with anyone.
He walked up to me and we started talking. It was inane, nothing interesting. He was a freshman, he went to prep school, studying finance. He was handsome, toned, and I never thought anyone like him even noticed me.
We left for his dorm. His roommate was out. I took off my clothes, and it seemed very natural. He didn't make any comments about my body.
Kissing was a strange experience. Who knew smushing your mouth against another person would feel so strange, so tense? I think it was more of a general pleasantry to get to business.
I climbed onto his bed, and he tried to perform cunnilingus. I didn't feel anything. I wasn't even very wet. He tried a finger, still nothing really enjoyable, just some discomfort. Then two. I screamed a little at the pain.
We tried for him. He wasn't very big when he was soft, and I didn't expect much. The spongy feeling of his skin against my hand wasn't anything like I expected or the fact that balls would be so squishy!
I licked, I sucked. I did everything like I saw in porn. I think my teeth might have brushed against him though, because he mentioned to do that less. He did seem to enjoy it as we went on, I could feel him gagging me as he grew another three inches. He asked me if I would be offended if he came in my mouth. I told him of course not. For some reason, he became soft again. I tried sitting down, and on my knees. No use, still soft
In the end, we gave up. He told me to get dressed and he'd call a cab for me. He was very sweet to me, and told me he had a great time, but I knew he was lying. Was I too unattractive?
I told him we could reschedule another time when we were less drunk. We exchanged numbers, and I had a polite chat with the cute taxi driver on the way home.
I got a text from him the next day. He was nice enough to know that all he really wanted was a fling, he didn't want to meet again. It would just be best to go our separate ways.
To be honest, I was a bit relieved. I didn't want to see him again. Yet, I still felt the rejection of it all. Was I only considered fuckable because of beer goggles? Was this my only shot of getting laid in college?
I didn't cry, because that would be stupid. I just sort of moped for a bit. My friend told me that's what I get for trying to sleep with a freshman. She was right.
It wasn't until a month later that things changed. I'm not sure if it was for the better or worse
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/30vrbx/kind_of_want_to_talk_about_my_first_sexual
Maybe he was into you. Then probably a little embarrassed that he couldn’t stay hard, which can happen if you’re drunk
Really? I wish I knew that two years ago! Well I’m going to keep writing about the rest of it all; how I lost my virginity, my first relationship, my first time with a girl, and the encounter that was kind of a three way but not really.
Now that I think about it, I never realized what people meant when they talked about the smell of dick. It really does have a smell. My hands smelled like him even after I washed them, my face smelled like him too. I think I enjoyed the act of sucking him more than anything else we had done that evening.