"Contrary to popular opinion, we did not start off as sexual degenerates who went looking for a religion to justify our moral depravity. In fact, quite the opposite. When we looked at something like infidelity, we saw it as something that was destroying marriages, and could be easily understood why. After all, if you make a promise that you don't keep, then there is something clearly wrong with your character. Right?
"The truth is, we could not find any justification for monogamy that brought anything positive to a relationship. At best, monogamy is about avoiding bad things, but usually it was about re-enforcing negative things like fear and jealousy. It definitely takes your focus off of the positive things that all relationships should be about.
"Eventually we began to see the same thing about monogamy as we did with sacrifice. As we stated earlier, if you see something as a sacrifice, you either need to change something about yourself so that it is no longer a sacrifice, or reject the sacrifice as something you should not do.
"So the problem with infidelity transformed into a problem with fidelity. If you look at the great relationships you have known in your life, they were great because of the things they did, not because of the things they avoided doing. I'm sure most, if not all of those relationships you're thinking about were monogamous, but we say they were great in spite of monogamy, not because of it.
"Your ability to remain faithful in a relationship may show a real strength of character, but it has nothing to do with building that character. There is no return on this like there is with something like exercise. Exercising regularly shows strength of character, but you also get a healthier body in return.
"Now, avoiding some negatives, and reinforcing others was not a good enough reason to jettison monogamy. It wasn't until we understood the positives that came out of it before we made a clean break from it. We have already covered one important thing, which is that we use sex to bind our kingdom, but there are some other very important reasons.
"We are sexual beings, and working with that sexuality brings us positive things in our lives, just as working against it brings negative ones…"
Lord Jacob interrupted his wife with a story he wanted to tell. "Girls, before my wife continues with positive aspects of rejecting monogamy, I want to provide a clear example of the negatives. What I would like to tell you may seem trivial to you, but it is very indicative of what we mean when we say that working against our sexuality does negative things.
"When you were taking sex education in school, I'm sure you heard about how boys had 'wet dreams.' Right?" After getting a few nods from them indicating they had, he continued. "I heard the same things. In the class I took, we were taught that they are perfectly natural, and nothing to be concerned about. Later that night, while I was masturbating into some tissue, I thought, 'why don't they teach us to do this before we go to bed, so that we don't have to deal with messy pajamas in the morning?'
"While I haven't actually conducted any surveys, I think it would be safe to say that most boys don't have many wet dreams, because of the messes they have had to clean up after the first couple times. Through an almost desperate need, boys learn to deal with this before going to bed.
"The thing is, particularly when I was growing up, masturbation was seen as a bad thing that only degenerates did. When you engage in an activity that you believe to be wrong, yet at the same time you believe you have no choice, a lot of non-trivial damage happens to your psyche.
"What saved me, and ironically happened the day before I was taught about wet dreams in Sex Ed, was something my uncle told me. He was much younger than my father, which made him not much older than me. I can't remember how the topic of masturbation came up, but he could tell I was very uncomfortable about it. He said, 'when it comes to masturbation, there are only two kinds of guys, those that admit it and say they do, and those who lie and say they don't.'
"What he said really shook me up. You may think I am over dramatizing this, but that simple, almost insignificant thing my uncle said was a seminal event in my life, so it had a profound effect in how I turned out. I no longer felt that I was spinning out of control, and was better able to get my life back on track."
"For much of the same reasons that our society's attitudes about masturbation harm us, so do the attitudes towards having sex with someone other than your spouse. We are taught that there is something wrong or weak about having sexual desires about others than our spouses.
"Sometimes the damage to our relationships is obvious, such as when a pretty woman walks past a couple and the man turns and looks. The man is only doing what is natural for him, but the woman sees it as a sign of disrespect, and so conflict, anger and recrimination is introduced into a relationship.
"When men are taught that their natural sexual desires are a sign of disrespect to the ones they love, they are literally forced to repress their sexuality, and this repression will take a toll on not only the man, but the enjoyment the couple shares in their sexual relationship."
Lady Jennifer then continued. "What my husband just covered leads into the first thing I wanted to cover about the benefits of rejecting monogamy. A man's sexuality is a complex thing. You can't ask him to suppress the things you don't like, and still be able to enjoy the things you do. Suppressing sexuality is an all or nothing kind of thing. You need to learn to work with your husband's sexuality, and not work against it.
"Using the example my husband just gave, when a pretty woman walks past us, not only does he turn and look, so do I. My willing and enthusiastic participation in the things he likes, frees his imagination to discover new and more interesting sexual experiences for the both of us. By learning to like the things he likes, my sexuality is so much more enjoyable.
"A few years ago a survey came out that was absolutely no surprise to anyone in this kingdom. It surveyed the sexual satisfaction in both frequency and enjoyment in couples that had been together for more than ten years. The results were divided into three groups: heterosexual, homosexual male and homosexual female.
"The homosexual males had by far the greatest degree of sexual satisfaction. The other two groups were not even close. Next after them were the heterosexual couples. While not to the same degree homosexual males, they still had an acceptable degree of sexual satisfaction. As for the homosexual women, their sex lives were almost nonexistent. Literally, nine out of ten reported that they did not have sex at all.
"Like I said, this survey was no surprise to us. We view men as sexually dynamic creatures whose imagination should be indulged in by us women, not suppressed. From my perspective, I'll bet any amount of money you want that the heterosexual couples that claimed that they didn't have sexually satisfying relationship, it is the woman that is dictating that aspect of it. I'll also bet that those same women would deny it, and also blame the man for it.
"And the benefits of rejecting monogamy go far beyond a better sex life. People who feel good about attracting sexual attention are more likely to take better care of themselves. Far too often, when couples get married, they just let themselves go. The most common impression people have for this is that people get lazy because they already have their mate. We believe that this laziness is a symptom, not a cause. The real cause is that keeping themselves attractive is seen as a sign of wanting to attract attention from someone other than their mate. In these cases, monogamy has not only generated laziness, it has reinforced it.
"Of course there are many attractive and monogamous couples in the world, but everyone of them has had to deal with this issue. Most importantly, these couples have remained attractive in spite of their monogamy, not because of it.
"Understanding the role a person's sexuality plays in motivating them to take care of themselves, helps to understand why we insist on the behaviors we expect of you. On the surface these expectations seem to be more about indulging in sexual perversion, yet the reality is that they are about what we believe is in your best interest.
"These expectations will require you to spend a lot of time naked, and in extremely intimate contact with both men and women. Not only will this motivate you to stay in shape, but more importantly, it will motivate you to be as clean as possible. …which also explains why the people of this kingdom have such great dental hygiene."
Lady Jennifer paused for a moment to look closely at each girl to see how they were taking what she was saying so far. She didn't see anything in their expressions to cause her any concern, so she continued, "OK girls, now for the hard part, which is getting you to understand our patriarchal kingdom.
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/2pydjo/next_generation_christian_kingdom_ch03_marcia