Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life

Disclaimer: This story is based on the 4chan story of the same name but has been altered to be more consensual and sex-positive.

FemSex Erotica: Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life It’s embarrassing to admit, but I have a serious Shrek obsession. I remember seeing the first movie when it came out way back in 2001. It’s been more than a decade since then, and although I can’t argue against the commonly-held belief that the movies have deteriorated in quality since the first installment, I can’t exactly say I’ve grown any less obsessed. I started out just liking the movie for the jokes and the dragons and the funny donkey. I’d ask my mom to buy me a piece of memorabilia to play with at home so I could recreate some of my favorite scenes from the movie. My siblings made fun of me for it but I had so much fun playing with those figures and imitating the voices that I didn’t really give a shit what they thought. After a bit of growing up, I started caring less about jokes and more about the characters themselves. Most of all, I started to really like Shrek. He seemed to be somebody who kind of just wanted to be left alone and who didn’t really care what people thought of him. That’s something I really liked and admired about him. It made him into a really interesting protagonist and also sort of . . . sexy? I know that sounds weird, but starting when I was about 13 or 14 I started to develop this weird attraction to him. Maybe it was the Scottish accent or something, but there was something about Shrek which, at the terminus of my pubescent years, I began to find oddly attractive and hot. I mean, his arms make him look really strong and he looks like he could smash through a wall if he really wanted to. His clothes make him look rugged and outdoorsy and his ogre skin looks nice and rough. And yet he’s also really sweet and his eyes give off this pleasant and friendly glow which makes him seem really approachable. I guess maybe you could say I’m into the type of person who’s rough on the outside but soft and vulnerable on the inside. Like a lumberjack with feelings. Anyways, as the years went by, my attraction to Shrek began to grow and expand in all sorts of ways. I began to almost worship him, for one. I’d think about him every night before going to bed, pretending to have a conversation with him about what I had done that day or just sharing a funny moment with him. I’d pray to him, asking him for his blessing and hoping that maybe one day I would get to see him in real life. “Shrek is love,” I’d mumble, “Shrek is life.” I would started fantasizing about him. I’d think about Shrek holding me in his arms and feeling his warm body pressed against mine. I’d think about his big ogre lips grazing across my skin, sending shivers up and down my spine. I’d think about his big ogre hand running up and down hips and touching my bare skin. With my face pressed into his chest I would take a deep breath through my nose and smell that sweet, sweet swampy aroma. The thought made me hard. I wanted so badly for him to be real. But of course life sucks and ogres aren’t real, so I could forget about that. That’s what I tried to convince myself of for a great many years and at one point I was actually really close to finally getting over my obsession. That is, until a few weeks ago when my life changed forever. It had been kind of a rough night at my house. My siblings were out of town and I had just had a really big fight with my dad. I was eighteen at this point and I was arguing with him about my college decisions. He wanted me to go to Stanford but I had told him that Stanford is for losers and that I really wanted to go to Berkeley instead. I had always dreamt about sitting on Memorial Glade one day, 4/20 blazing it with the astronomy C10 professor. But I digress. At one point in the argument I had had enough and fled upstairs into my room. I collapsed onto the bed, tears of frustration running down my cheek. Why does life have to BE SO HARD? This college decision is LITERALLY the most important decision I will ever make in my life! I thought to myself naively. I then did what I always do in situations like this: pray to Shrek. Oh please Shrek. Please just give me something to let me forget about all of this for a while. I was just about to fall asleep when I heard my window creak open. Through the darkness I could see a silhouette of a figure standing near my desk, facing towards me. His head looked kind of like an alien’s, with two trumpet-like ears jutting out from its head. Its body was massive and round. Its scent was . . . swampy. Oh. My God. Could it be true? In one swift motion I clapped my hands together, immediately illuminating the room. It was Shrek. I was so happy. Shrek looked at me and smiled warmly. “Will this do it?” he said in his sexy Scottish accent. I trembled with excitement, barely able to get out a response. “Y-yes, that’ll do,” I finally managed to say. He moved towards my bed, each step slow but confident. He sat down next to me, his ogre weight causing the bed to sag several inches. “What would you like to do?” he said in his sexy over-the-top Scottish accent. “Well, I was actually thinking about having you penetrate my asshole with that thick ogre dick of yours,” I said, blushing with embarrassment. He raised one of his eyebrows and gave a mischievous smile. “Well, that sounds great, if you ask me!” he whooped in his sexy, completely over-the-fucking-top Scottish accent. “But first,” I said, “some much needed foreplay!” We started making out, my lips interlocked with his thin but big ogre lips. Mmm, I can’t wait to feel these lips all over my cock, I thought to myself. We began to slowly undress. I removed his pre-historic swamp shirt while he used his big fingers to undo my jeans. I began to run my hands all over his naked torso and chest, relishing the feel of his ogre skin, a sensation I had waited so long to be able to experience. After a while of sitting next to each other, I suggested we change positions to something more comfortable. “All righty,” he said in his ridiculous, sexy, over-the-fucking-top Scottish accent. He began to slowly lie me down onto the bed, his strong arms lowering me inch by inch. By this time I was pulling down his pants with my hands to reveal the throbbing penis that lay beneath. “Is it all right if I touch your big Ogre surprise?” I asked sheepishly. He nodded, giving me that loving Scottish smile I loved so much. I slowly moved my hands lower and lower on his body, giving his ass a few tight squeezes before running my hands towards his member. Tenderly, I grasped his erect penis in my hands. I could feel it surging with blood and I could see the tip of it glistening with pre-cum. By now my penis was out in the open too, as excited to see the light as much as his was. “Want me to rub our cocks together?” Shrek asked in his ridiculous, sexy, over-the-fucking-top, to-the-moon-and-back Scottish accent. I agreed, and he got to work. I wasn’t really feeling it though and so I asked him to stop, which he did. “How about we cut right to the chase?” I asked him. He said that was fine in his something-something Scottish accent but added that he needed to put on a condom first. “That’s a great idea. Let me get some Astroglide water-based lubricant that I found recommended to me by a World Wide Web internet site called Amazon.com,” I yelled at the top of my lungs. Once the condom was on, I applied a shit-ton of lubricant and lay face down on the bed. “Please fuck me, but start out slow. I’ve never done this before,” I told him. With that, he positioned himself behind me, his ogre dick poised to enter my asshole. He lowered himself on top of me and let the tip of his penis rest against my anus. Shivers ran up and down my spine. He then proceeded to enter me, very slowly, using just the tip at first. I let out a long gasp as the first length of his cock entered me. I wasn’t used to this. He let it rest there for a few minutes, to let me adjust. “Are you ready for more of me?” Shrek asked in his beautiful, crazy, sexy, euphoric Scottish accent. I assented, and he proceeded to move the head of his penis in and out of me, preparing my rectum for the deeper and longer thrusts to come. He stopped briefly to check up on me. “Is this feeling good to you?” he asked. “Mhmm,” I moaned, “Just make sure to keep doing it slowly, ok?” With that, he began again, this time moving larger and larger segments of his penis through my asshole. I could begin to feel him hitting against my prostate, a sensation which felt fucking fantastic. “Oh god yes, keep fucking me with that ogre cock!” I yelled in euphoria. After a few more minutes of this, Shrek the Ogre came, letting out a monstrous roar and then collapsing to the side of me. “Want me to get you off?” he asked in his lovely and sexy Scottish accent. “Please do,” I said. With that, he rolled me over, placed a slime-flavored condom over my penis which he had brought with him, and took me into his mouth. His rough Ogre tongue felt good through the condom and after a few minutes I came too. Both exhausted from this short but intense meeting, we just lay there for a couple minutes. Just then, I heard the door open. Oh shit, it’s my dad. He’s probably gonna ask me about Amazon.com or something. “Hey son, I was just asking you why you yelled Amazon.com really loud—“ he stopped abruptly, seeing Shrek lying naked in the bed next to me. “What the heck is going on here?” my father said, clearly shocked. “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave this room immediately, or else!” Shrek lunged off the bed, clearly offended by the reception he had been given by my dad. “Whoa, whoa whoa. Check yourself before you Shrek yourself,” Shrek yelled defiantly. He then moved closer to my dad and whispered “Besides, it’s all ogre now.” With that, he jumped out the window. My dad was confused but did not ask me about it any further. Shrek and I still keep in touch. Shrek is Love. Shrek is Life.

Source: reddit.com/r/Erotica/comments/2chf96/shrek_is_love_shrek_is_life

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