I hate getting flat tires, but they always seem to happen at the most inconvenient times. Like now: one in the morning on a dark service road running parallel to the freeway. I hear the muffled pop and *dugga dugga* rhythm of a tire dying under me and pull over to the shoulder.
I open the door and the humid night air hits me like a wet blanket and I retch. It’s never gonna cool down. As I step down from the SUV my tank top already starts to stick to my skin and tits and I feel like I’m being groped by the goddamn weather.
I round the back end to look for the culprit. The right rear glints with a head of a screw sticking out of the sidewall.
“Fuck.”
The Escalade, for all its size and power, was also a pain in the ass to maintain. The spare was buried under the third row and worse, I knew the impotent tire jack would be no match for the lugs screwed down by those idiots in the service center. I pulled my phone to call a car service when the road lights up at my feet. Someone’s coming and pulling over.