I still want him. I’ve only fucked him twice, but I would devour him whole if I could. He hasn’t responded to my texts; he knows I previously deleted his number. The silence and the assumption that he now thinks I’m crazy keeps me wired like I’m on a cocaine binger. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep. I am a song from the Drive soundtrack. This is made worse by the fact that he’s written a book of erotica, and I’ve read a few bits. It may be even better than mine; although, I think most of it is supposed to be humorous, but what I read made me wet anyway. He writes similarly to me, but slightly more manic which I didn’t think was possible. He’s also emotionally detached; I can tell by the way he writes. Which makes my pussy wetter because I know I can’t have him. I hate that I’m like this. And I don’t want him to know because he’d play the game too well. I think I’m safe because he won’t read this anyway. But I don’t want to be safe.
I woke up, worked out, showered, put on pubic hair oil. I’m in-between waxes, and the hair is sprouting back much to my dismay. But it’s soft and sparse, and I kinda think it looks cute. I did my makeup, but I still look half asleep, and I almost look my age which upsets me. I need him to fix my insecurity. I need his cock to fix me. I put on my plaid schoolgirl skirt and white Are You Am I crop top that makes my tits look perky and my nipples look cute. I slide off my underwear and squirm around in front of my mirror, taking pictures of my bare ass peeking from underneath the tartan. I text them to him. I don’t think he’ll text me back. I’d be surprised if I ever saw him again and that sends me deeper into my sexual obsessions about this man. I have a UTI I think I got from fucking him and not pissing afterwards a few days ago, and I’m in pain. But the pain weirdly makes me hornier. Makes me want his cock as a distraction. You can still have a protected fuck with a UTI, I checked. It just may make things worse, but when has that ever deterred me from doing anything? I’d let him do anything to me. Does he realize how lucky he is? How few people have that power? I’m sure he does and doesn’t want it and because of that I’d choke on his cock until I died if I could.
I want him to text me that he’s here. He’s outside my apartment. I tell him to come up, and I nervously wait for him at the door, wearing my schoolgirl skirt without panties, my knee-high combat boots, ready to repent. He takes me in and his pupils go wide like he’s found his prey. He reaches a hand out and pulls me into him roughly by the nape of my neck. I bite his bottom lip in response. I pull back, smirking cheekily. I know I’ll be punished. I start to walk quickly down the hallway, but he’s on my heels, he’s going to get me. He grabs me by the wrist, pulls me back and slings me against the wall of my hallway, my head almost hitting the framed Rosemary’s Baby poster. He spins me around, so my ass is against his crotch. Grabbing my hair, he pushes my head against the wall, my cheek pushing so hard against it, that my teeth ache. “Will you be a good girl, now?,” he growls at me. No, I try to hiss, but it’s hard to say anything with my face pressed so hard against the wall.
He lifts my skirt to find my bare ass. “You need to be punished. You text me too much. You’re clingy and annoying. Obsessive. You need to be trained.” He spanks my ass so hard, I think my soul has just left my body. “Will you be a good girl, now?,” he repeats. I try to shake my head no under the weight of his hand, and he spanks me again. Harder. I’ve just seen Heaven. I can feel his mouth on the nape of my neck, in-between my shoulder blades, following my spine as he lifts my crop top above my head. He finally lets my head go, and I can turn around, tits out, to see him finally. I can put my tongue down his throat finally. I pant into his mouth, I want him so badly. I moan like he’s already got his fingers inside my pussy, but he doesn’t. He grabs my jaw and forces my mouth open. My heart races as he spits into my mouth. It’s cold, and it tastes like breath mints, and I could cry I’m so happy to taste it.
“Pray,” he says as I swallow his spit. I know what he means. I kneel in front of him as he takes his beautiful, big cock out. I spit on his cock and lick from his balls up his shaft slowly before taking him into my mouth. Suddenly, without warning, he grabs the back of my head and face fucks me. Tears come to my eyes because I wasn’t ready. His cock his all the way down my throat, and I’m choking on it, and I love it. I love it. I love it. He’s asking me questions as I suck, but I can’t hear him, I can’t understand his accent as I gag. He slaps me lightly across the face because my eyelids are shut. “Look at me while you pray.” I pray so hard. I pray the best. Because I’m his good girl.
When he shoots his load down my throat, I am fed life. And I’m exhausted. He lifts my shaking, spent body up and carries me to the rug on my office floor. He doesn’t want me to be too comfortable. He towers above me, looking down at me like God. I need him in me like God. I reach out for his cock; my body still trembling, but he slaps my face, a bit harder this time. I try to slap him back, but he grabs my wrist and holds it down. “Why won’t you be a good girl?,” he asks as I pretend to struggle, but really there’s no where else I’d rather be than pinned underneath him in pain. “What do you want?,” he asks me.
I want you, I want you, I want you. I beg for his cock. I swear I’ll be his good girl if he just fucks me already. I want it inside me. I want to feel that initial penetration when he tries to get his fat cock into my tight pussy. The sudden wave of pain that hurts so good. Please, please, please. I want your cock so badly. I want to feel you inside me. I want you to cum so deep inside me. I want you to fill me. I’m obsessed with you. I’ll love you forever. I will worship your cum. I will pray to you everyday. You finally push your cock inside me, and I gasp. Angels crying. You fuck be the best, daddy. You fuck me so good. You are my God.
My thighs shake, wrapped around your back, as you fuck me deep and hard. Your hands wrap around my thin, pale neck, and I think I’m going to die. I’ve even here before, but somehow this is fine. This is better. Because your cock is inside me. I want this. I’d die for you, but I know I’m safe. “Touch yourself,” he whispers into my ear before taking it into his wet mouth.
I spit in my hand and reach for my clit, rubbing myself as he grinds against me. “Are you a good girl?,” he asks me again, his hand getting tighter around my neck. I nod. Yes. Yes. Yes. I’m your good girl. I try to scream it as I cum all over his cock, but I have no more breath. He grasps releases just in time for me to gasp for air as I squirt. Holy water.
His hands grab the meat of my outer thighs as he pushes himself further into me, cumming, and releasing me. He makes me such a good girl. I’m such a good girl for him.