Please enjoy this absolute clusterfucktastrophe that highkey is making me regret ever learning the English language.
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Muriel D’hiver was an interesting student at her university. She carried herself with a fearsome grace, often taking drinking bets of Monster Energy. If her challenger won, they were given an opportunity to use her body for one full day. No one had ever won a bet against her. She had gone through several leather jackets, pairs of moto gloves, and many different hairstyles – yet the one thing that never changed was her inability to lose a bet.
That all changed when a transfer student named Elliott Ciotto arrived. He was an avid Monster drinker too. He took Muriel up on her bet. They tied drinking times for three whole cans. Muriel declared a brief parlay, to which Elliott offered a new term – if he could defeat her record, he would be granted two weeks with her instead of one day. She agreed, mind blurred by her dangerously caffeinated state. And, for the first time in history, she lost the bet.