It’s getting late. But not too late. We are on the couch as usual, watching mindless tv. The best kind of tv for when my mind is preoccupied in a ball of nerves. It’s obvious in my head what I want. My body is practically screaming at me to go. But I hesitate, as usual. You have me in your arms. How can we be so close and yet I can’t get out of my own head? I watch the clock tick on, desperate with each passing minute. “Just do it. Just say the words”. I really want to…
I turn to face you. My head spinning, trying to get the words out. “I, kind of want to lay down. Can we?” Of course you say sure, and we sit up. You leave briefly to get ready for bed. I’m already ready, so I go to the bed and wait. You return finally. No longer alone trying to calm my nerves, my heart starts beating faster. You approach the bed as usual. But this time, before you reach it to lay down, I stand up in front of you. I wrap my arms around your neck and nuzzle you. I was too scared to go straight for a kiss, but I eventually do. All the while I’m just hoping you catch my drift and don’t leave me hanging. You seem surprised but I go on, hoping you’ll follow my lead. I kiss you again, and then kiss your cheek and down to your neck. You put your hands on my waist and hold me. You start to kiss me back. I close my eyes and let you shower me in kisses. I hold you closer as you do.