The Pleasure of Anticipation

[Str8]

Every lover in my past has taught me something.

In the same way I can chart my life with songs, musicians and bands, I chart my sexual journey in lessons learned from lovers.

Adam was my first teacher.

I was young. Only 21, just out of college and in my first job. My boss, Ben, was about 10 years older than me. He was a handsome, blond-haired, blue-eyed, 6’2” Ivy Leaguer who started his own company with his father’s money. His chiseled frame made me suspect he had been a rower or a swimmer in college. I was his first employee, something he mentioned every time he introduced me. Every time, except with Adam.

Ben had talked about Adam on my first day working for him. It was a Friday. I was sitting on sleeper sofa in his oversized corner office, trying not to reveal that I had no panties under my short skirt. My red satin garter belt, black stockings, and red bra were all new from Victoria’s Secret. Some women might celebrate a new job with a pair shoes or a purse. I bought lingerie.

The beginning of it all…

[Str8]

Almost drunk and a little high, I was lying across the smooth back seat of my boyfriend’s borrowed white Caprice Classic. My body relaxed, I let my eyes lose focus, surrendering to the symphony of road sounds reverberating through the soft leather. It was raining very lightly—enough for the water to have a voice in the chorus.

I wasn’t wearing a seatbelt. Out of defiance toward my mother, of course. My entire relationship with Josh was, in fact, an act of defiance. A clear “fuck you” to my parents for their unhappiness and subsequent divorce.

I couldn’t remember how I got relegated to the back seat. His friend must have called shotgun. He was talking animatedly while Josh pretended to listen. His greasy blonde head appeared just over the driver’s side head rest, and every so often, he caught my eyes in the rearview mirror.

It was those eyes and that smug grin that first got me. He was that guy who looked like he had a secret you wanted to know. A secret you should know. I was determined find out what it was from the moment I met him.