My .. ex? My only man. The man who helped me discover myself. Everything about me… he validated. Call me silly.. but I still feel him to this day. He is like 6’2” and i am 5’8”. Whenever we were together i felt like i was his possession. This boy held me like he loved me or some shit. I actually think he may of had some deep feelings there. I hope. .
This story about our very “first time”. It was so unexpected for me and still makes me get uncontrollably turned on. It was 2008. I was his best friend. We had been friends since elementary school. I was barely in high school when we first started this. He is my age. Both 29 now. Anyways, i was typing on the computer and he cuts the lights out and walks up behind me and says in my ear “its just us here. I have held this back for as long as possible. You can leave if you want, but you know i love you. I dont wanna see you hurt. But im begging… can I please just kiss you? I wanna kiss you. Thats all i can think about”. His breath was warm on my ear. He smelled like everything i wanted. And I turned around in the dim computer lighting and said “when we kiss, im probably gonna get hard. Because i like kissing.” And he said “well i can take care of that also babe”. (Very bold). And i kissed him so hard right then and there. I was in heaven. I felt everything- like heroin pulsing through me. I wanted every piece of him. I was encapsulated by his grip and gentle lips. He nibbled on my neck and pulled my hair back to control me. He wanted to control me. I wanted him to control me. I wanted- him.