I’m not gonna lie. Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and I nod and shake my little booty. I might not have a Kim Kardashian style butt, but for 47 years old, I look damn good. I don’t look like the other moms. And I attribute that to a few things. One reason is that I had Mara when I was 24. The other benefit of having kids early is, you’re done with that shit before you even hit 50. Mara is 23 now. I’m not 47 going to back to school night. Ugh. How dreadful.
The other benefit? I caught on early that this marriage thing was not for me and got divorced early.
So while the other moms overstayed their welcomes and their marriages collapsed, I was telling Mara to spend the week at her dads (they got along), so I could go work remotely in Miami for the week. And while the other moms compensated for their terrible marriage by complaining, eating too much, and drinking, I stayed in great shape. I didn’t need botox or lip fillers or touch ups. I didn’t have to shop excessively to fill a void.