MY PRIVATE SLUT, PT. 1 [Mf] [oral] [mast] [squirt] [facial]

Ella had fallen on hard times. She was working four jobs and taking care of her mother, who had fallen ill. There was no money. No savings. And no foreseeable end to Ella’s suffering. She was taking on debt, unable to save for her own future, and facing the grim reality that it might be time to turn to a career in porn.

Ella was stunning. She had naturally curly blonde hair, piercing green eyes, freckles, small, perky tits, a juicy little butt, and a flat stomach. She rocked a bikini wax with a thick, perfect bush. But it was her smile that really did it for Tucker.

They’d met at a bar one evening and became fast friends as they mulled over their similarly unhealthy relationships with their respective partners. They decided to take each other’s numbers so they could keep in touch. It didn’t take long for feelings to develop, but they respected the fact that they were both in relationships, and so they never slept together.

Over time, they drifted apart. A toxic relationship has a way of effecting friendships — but when Ella saw, via social media, that Tucker was newly single, she texted him …

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About a year ago, I met Kat while standing online at Starbucks. She was about ten years younger than me, but the connection was immediate. We hung out for months, casually dating and sleeping together. When I was 13, the internet was just becoming a thing. But when Kat was a teenager, the internet was as prominent as ever. Sexually curious, she found pornhub and the rest is history.

As a result, Kat was a very *very* open minded woman. Virtually nothing was off limits. Unlike the prudes a decade older than her who thought porn was disgusting and set unrealistic expectations, Kat grew up watching gloryholes, bukkake videos, and double anal scenes. If the women in the videos did this stuff — so could she.

And then, our fun came to a sudden, abrupt ending when her mother fell ill and she had to move back home to Montana, of all places. The job scene was bleak, the social scene was bleak. And she needed income to get by.

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Two years after Jack and Kibby broke up, they bumped into one another in a parking garage. He had just wrapped up a long day of shopping, and she was planning on going to the store to get her nails done. It was an awkward encounter, initially. They stood around pretending to make small talk. As they prepared to say goodbye, he said he had to rush home because he was starving.

“Well, why don’t we get some sushi?” She asked.

He hesitated. Things hadn’t ended well between them and he wasn’t sure lunch was such a good idea. As he hemmed and hawed, Kibby slapped him on the arm and said, “Babe, I’m totally over you. No hard feelings. Let’s just … catch up?”

“Okay,” he said, tossing his bag in the trunk. They headed to a new sushi restaurant she raved about and took a table in the corner. She ordered a Sake flight — there were three in all, and one was particularly cloudy.

“This one,” she said, giggling uncontrollably. “It looks like … you know …”

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I like to fuck around with my Tinder profile from time to time, just to see what bios get the best responses. My secret is to lead with a goofy photo. Something so outlandish that women scrolling past will simply have to click on my bio out of curiosity. My bio ranges from the serious to the absurd and everywhere in between. Sometimes its one word and other times, it’s a full paragraph of serious interests.

My bio that simply said, “Queso forever” got me over 13 matches, two dates, and one blowjob in my car.

My lengthier bios usually didn’t do so well from the people who were looking for something casual. And then, I wondered what would happen if I went purely sexual.

“Never been with an asian woman,” I wrote on a total whim. I planned to take it down right away, fearful that I might get reported for racism or something. But instead, I got six matches.

“Any luck yet?” One Asian women wrote.

“None!” I wrote back with a crying face emoji.

THE MOST BORING GIRL IN THE WORLD [Mf] [face fuck] [mast] [squirt] [anal]

I met Sasha on Tinder. I could tell right away that she was boring, which was interesting, given the fact that she was absolutely gorgeous. She seemed to have no personality. Her bio was brief and included a list of likes and dislikes. She was your standard white girl, in terms of interests: sushi, hiking, dogs. Dislikes were mirror selfies, gun selfies, and cats.

I swiped right and much to my surprise, we were a match. I tend to know my market. Heavier women who are a little less attractive at first glance, but you look at them and after a moment or two, you go, “Yeah, she’s cute, I guess.” I’m a nice looking average guy—no one is going to stop twice to check me out. But the heavier set women who are “cute, I guess,” love me. So … it’s very rare that I match with a 10/10 knockout. And when I do, I can’t help but get a little suspicious. Are they a bot? Are they fishing for Instagram followers?

FATHER’S DAY THROAT FUCK [brutal] [facefuck] [sloppy] [facial] [mast] [squirt]

Jeremy liked to be used. He liked the idea of having his orgasms withheld for days or even weeks while his wife barked out sexual orders to him. He was at her service and lived truly by the cliche happy wife, happy life motto. No matter where they were, no matter what they were doing, if she turned to him and said, “Make me cum,” he jumped to work. It was always one sided. And he loved it. Fingering her in the movie theatre or going down on her in the kitchen when the kids took the dog around the block.

He loved hoisting her up on the kitchen island, spreading her legs and sucking her clit until she came. And then, minutes later, the kids would rush in as if nothing had happened, his face wet from her pussy juices. He’d dip into the bathroom to wash his face and then they’d smirk at each other all evening.

Of course, she would take care of him, too. In fact, she wanted to fuck him more frequently than they did — but that was part of his kink. Being withheld. He would all but cum his pants from excitement when he would ask her and she would decline him and wag her finger ‘no’ while doing something provocative like deep throat a popsicle.

JUST ONE THING … I’M NOT GOING TO FUCK YOU [stoned sex] [mast] [oral] [facial]

Ronnie and Joe were old camp friends. He hadn’t seen or talked much with her in over a decade, but suddenly, she found herself being relocated to Boulder. She knew nobody … except for Joe, who had recently moved there himself. And so, she sent him a message via Facebook and asked if they could catch up.

The reunion was mostly unremarkable. They got sushi. They had a few drinks. The conversation was awkward. A few camp memories. A little small talk about the weather and legal pot. And then, they talked about her work. If this had been a date, there would not be a second one. But Joe felt bad for Ronnie. She was new to town and didn’t know anyone.

After dinner, they walked to their cars. They said they’d get together soon, but honestly, he didn’t care one way or the other. A month passed and then another and gradually, Joe kind of forgot about Ronnie. But by the look of things, at least via social media, she was adjusting.

“Do you think this girl is cute?” Ronnie asked via text. A photo appeared. The woman was not cute. He answered honestly: “No. Why? Who is she?”

I’M FLATTERED, BUT NO, PT. 2 [mf] [oral] [swallow] [quickie]

It was actually quite nice to have a regular sex partner who lived so close. Guaranteed sex virtually any time I wanted. All I had to do was text.

“You around?” I’d ask.

It meant one thing and one thing only: I want to fuck you.

One afternoon, as I was walking into the building, I saw her in the hallway. She was coming back from the mailroom and stopped when she saw me.

“Hey,” I said.

“Hey!” She said back.

We lingered, looking at one another. I smiled. And then, she smiled. Finally, she licked her lips, closed her eyes, glanced at her phone and exhaled.

“I have 15 minutes,” she said, smirking devilishly.

“Haha, okay.”

We rushed into her apartment. She threw the pile of mail onto the floor. I stepped up behind her and slowly started to undress her, trying to lift off her top.

“No time for that. Seriously. My friends are picking me up in 15 minutes. Just, here …”

I’M FLATTERED, BUT NO [mf] [oral] [mast] [squirt] [facial]

My neighbor texted me — did I know the name of an electrician? We chatted for a while. And then she asked how my night was going. “Eh,” I said. “Low key. What about you?” “Same …” she responded. I hesitated. She was pretty. Had a nice body. What I *wanted* to ask was, “Do you want to come upstairs and fuck?” But of course, there is a more diplomatic way of saying that, these days.

“Any chance you’d be interested in coming upstairs for a good ol’ fashioned Netflix and Chill? Sorry if that’s a weird thing to text a neighbor … can’t hurt to ask, though. Right?”

“hahahah,” she responded.

And then, silence. Guess that was a no.

And then, a few minutes passed and my phone buzzed.

“I mean … the Netflix part sounds fine. But I don’t just do casual stuff. Sorry!”

“No worries,” I said.

THE GIRL WITH HAIRY ARMPITS [Mf] [oral] [mast] [creampie] [piss] [grool]

It started as a joke. I saw this beautiful woman at the gym and pointed her out to a friend. He agreed. She was cute. But … she didn’t shave her armpits, so he immediately wrote her off, claiming it was disgusting. Of course, I could have launched into a who are you to decide what is socially acceptable for a woman to do with her body rant, but it was a lost cause — as most things are these days. People have made up their minds and will not and cannot be persuaded.

Anyway, from that moment on, we had ourselves a little inside joke. I’d point to a woman and say, “She’s just your type. She shaves her armpits.”

Soon, though, I found myself oddly mesmerized by them. They were like a public glimpse into an otherwise private world. I guess that’s how kinks develop. Innocent at first, but then … it’s all you can think of. I found myself checking women out everywhere I went. When they’d lean back, arching to stretch or yawn, I’d lean forward, try to catch a glimpse of their armpits.