Being highly insecure and not wanting to perpetuate stereotypes of gay men being slutty, Joel had always done his best to resist his own darkest desires. Knowledge of Yas’s threesome had thrown him for a loop! He sat on his bed, trying not to cry as he regretted telling his ex about his desire to have a threesome back when they were together.
It felt personal, as if Yas had done it just to spite him. Yas was the only person that Joel had ever told about such specific and lavish fantasies. Imagine telling your boyfriend of your specific fantasy of being spit-roasted, only to have it never happen, and then to have him do that for someone else so easily!
Internal kink and bottom shame had always been a problem for Joel, so admitting that he wanted two men that he could trust to be at each end of him overwhelming him and using him up, was a big deal. Monumental. Never mind the more taboo aspect of his fantasy, which usually included his own brother being the third.