[Hey folks! I just discovered this subreddit, and I’d like to share something I wrote recently if y’all don’t mind. It’s intended to be read aloud, but I think it works OK on the page too. Hope you like it! – PBS]
## “Make Me Cum With Everything”
Once upon a time, there was a monk who was very, very, very ugly.
You might be picturing an ugly person right now, but he was much uglier than that. His hair, if you could call it that, was composed of three dry strands that tried, and failed, to cover his otherwise bald head. He had a wart on his upper lip. His teeth were brown and rotting, and he had the breath of a small, dying animal. He was rotund, and low to the ground, like a gourd. And his voice was, to put it charitably, grating – a piercingly nasal whine that would rise to a shriek at a moment’s notice.
This very, very ugly monk did not appear to know, or care, that he was a hideous monstrosity. The village would often see him walking around the outskirts of town, having conversations with strangers and passers-by. The village, while finding him grotesque, also believed he was harmless.