Not particularly happy with this story, but I can't figure out a way to change it and make it better. So I'm finally posting it here to move on to other things. Any feedback is appreciated, and the full story can be found here. Thanks for reading!
He lay slumped on the couch, head tilted to one side at an appalling angle. His eyes, glassy and unfocused, were pointed in the general direction of the dingy, smeared screen. Trashy daytime TV illuminated his dark living room, distorted soap operas washing over the dusty floor, the cracked paint, the pile of unkept dishes in the sink. A casual observer might mistake Eli Stevens for a corpse if they were to miss the imperceptible rise and fall of his chest
The sun penetrated a tiny slit in the faded curtains, illuminating the pattern; one that had gone out of style nearly twenty years prior. The brilliant sliver of light crept timorously across the floor, synchronized with the dingy hour hand on the wall clock. It remained ignored until, finally, it fell on Eli’s face.