I lay on top of the bed, strapped tight, by their calm voice and guiding words only – no
ropes or ties needed to keep me restricted. Even the involuntary up and down of
my just barely breathing chest feels dangerously alike to brattier dares that I
enjoy so much on other occasions.
For tonight, they have turned me into this small, devoted, slightly afraid piece of
myself.
They got up a few seconds ago, left me waiting all naked, I can only hear them now
carefully making their way across the room, zig-zagging to not step onto our
cloths that are spread across the bedroom floor. (My cloths, to be honest. I
merely managed to free them of their warm socks and pullover, before their eyes
and pose transformed from their usual warm and friendly smile to this determined,
appreciative, thoughtful gaze, that I was longing to see all day long after we’ve
negotiated this endeavor over coffee this morning.) I cannot see them now. I
still feel the echo of their hand bending my head to the side. I am taking in
the intricate structure of the metal lampshade on their bedside table, further
blinded by the light that’s shining through, as I train my ears on their
barefoot steps on the parquet. Then there’s a short moment of silence, I’d
guess they’ve reached the chest of drawers that’s full of mean and delightful
joys.
The silence extends and I want nothing more than them to be observing me in
this state of sweet tension from across the room, enjoying their effect on me,
taking in every bit of my skin, smirking in anticipation themselves. They sigh,
heat grows in my body. They are gazing at me; I know it for certain now. The
sigh must feel like a traitor to them. They are going to work extra hard on
keeping this calm, controlled and determined façade up. I am so lucky today…