I’ve never longed for anything so badly. It started off so innocently. I didn’t want you, didn’t find you attractive in the least. You were just another man, someone else’s husband. Standing there while I struggled to even love my own. You were the last thing I needed.
Slowly you started inserting teasing gestures, silly comments. It had been months. We were friends. I didn’t want them, didn’t accept them. I moved on, switched the subject, brushed it off. I didn’t look forward to your messages, to seeing your stupid unwarranted selfies appear every morning. We talked about things we had in common. You held my attention as you held an excellent, everlasting conversation. I took what I wanted and left the rest.
As my own marriage continued to fall apart, something switched. Your eyes became all I longed for. I dreamt of you. Your attention melted me. I was all the mistakes you hadn’t made, all the ones you wished you had. You were the same for me. I started fantasizing about you with your wife, wishing I were her, or she and I were there together. I wanted you in so many ways, and in any way I could have you.