It’s a Saturday, and I’m horny as hell. I live alone, and I have nothing to do, so I figure I’ll watch porn and jerk off at some point. But it’s a beautiful sunny day, so I decide I’ll go for a walk first.
It’s when I pass by a yard sale that I first set eyes on it.
It’s on a table cluttered with all sorts of stuff, and an older lady is sitting behind. I’m immediately drawn towards it.
‘You’re interested?’, she asks. ‘It’s an obscene old thing. Can’t stand it. It was a present to my late husband from a friend of his. I’ve got no idea where it comes from, or how old it is.’
I pick it up. It’s a beautiful, tall, old-fashioned hourglass. It has a dark wooden top and bottom. The glass is a little dusty, but I’m fascinated by the sand inside. Because it’s black. As black as midnight.
‘I have a bit of a thing for time pieces’, I explain. ‘I collect clocks and stuff like that. But I’ve never seen an hourglass like this before. It must be volcanic sand or something’. Then I see the carving on the wooden top, and I laugh. ‘Wow. I see what you mean by obscene!’.