Are ancient gods really dumb, or am I really smart?
So that Babylonian artifact I found in my dad’s garage is now my keychain, and I just need to put a hand in my pocket to get anything I want. The little stone dude went from holding up three fingers, to two, to one, and now he’s permanently holding up all three again and forever because he fell for the oldest trick in the book.
There are rules to this thing, but you can experiment and find the loopholes all you want once you’ve wished for a million wishes. The first thing I found out is that you can’t force someone to do something they don’t want. Before I wished for unlimited wishes, my first wish was to get a titfuck blowjob from Ellie Ryan, the hottest girl in school and also the biggest nerd if you can believe it; that girl’s breast size and grades were on opposite ends of the alphabet. But it didn’t work. I saw her flinch like a nasty thought had popped into her head only to get shaken out. She walked away instead of dropping to her knees the way I hoped. Honestly, she should have taken my offer then; her pretty little mouth had a much bigger cock to deal with the day I figured it out.