My reluctance to say it out loud stems from a conversation I had once with a friend’s boyfriend in a pub. We were chatting about fantasises (you know the type, sex in public, Britney Spears in that school uniform) when he suddenly announced that it was every woman’s fantasy to be raped.
I thought it was the most misogynistic thing I’d ever heard because at that time, I saw rape as a woman being forced at knifepoint to have sex with a stranger in a dark alleyway somewhere. So why would any woman in her right mind want to endure that humiliation? No woman wants to be hurt and degraded like that.
But his words stayed with me and I was determined to prove him wrong in every relationship I had after that.
Every man I have been with knows that I’m no victim. I’m in control of all aspects of my life and I certainly don’t let anyone dictate to me what I should do: everything is done my way, especially sex.