How do let her go? You, Let Her Be…Gone! I know you stopped finding value in my words but, if that weren’t the case, I would tell you how much I love, Dear Evan Hansen. It breaks my heart to know you may never know that.
Haha… It means you have stopped caring to get to know me. The me I am becoming. Not the me I was. That’s the one you cling too, that shameful hateful boy
You led me to a place of comfort many times, in understanding, “Things aren’t always as they seem, Huck.” Though equally wonderful and tragic, it’s that thrill of Wonder and Tragedy that keeps your scent in the air, your gracefully awkward silhouette in the sun filled door of the tea shop on Cornelia. I still look up when I catch shadow move across that light. That’s Good Light, Babe. That’s good light. It’s the moments when warm electric runs through me and again We, are again, for a moment…We are. I find comfort in those moments when I accept simply, this truth…That when Nothing makes sense on a physical level, then, and only then do I find understanding, compassion and power on the spiritual level. Nothing makes sense on that physical level for me anymore. I split babe. I didn’t even pack a bag, make a sandwich, I even forgot my wallet. Didn’t even check out of my room. Didn’t even put on my shoes. (PSSST…hey, In hindsight, if we have to do this again, remind me to grab my wallet and shows) I’m Audi Baby. Maybe later Gator. Maybe later.
And I know now exactly where you realized the enormity of what We could be together. The pure vastness of it…
It was our last true exchange of energy. On your DayBed. Laying, gazing, no touching, giggling, fully clothed, pretending we are watching Angus. God that was magic. That night was magic. Angus, is great yea sure. But that night was magic. I remember moving your energy and you mine. I remember giving you all of me. And, all of you, you gave that night too. I still taste the electric storm tingle of you in my mouth from that night. Still feel the heat run through me and back into you as my fingers hovered close enough to your cheek to feel you radiant and pulse on my fingertips. Without touch… We caress. Tantric. I dunno. We elevate in those moments…we transcend. Ride. We came together that night, too, no, not so basic, Nerd, as one, as truly one, we came together too, hehe, without touch…With gaze and with whisper, we exchange and linger and pulse. You, Me, the All of Us, together, as one beat of one heart, Us, feeling the power of our love as our spirits United instead of Collided. We danced again In that moment.