Am I doing this right?

[This is my first attempt at writing in a while, and my first attempt at erotic stuff. Is this how I do it?]

Jill was an amazing girl. I couldn’t help but sneak a peak at her every time she entered the room, it was almost as if I was always waiting for her to turn the corner, to come say hi. Her long blond hair flowing from side to side as she walked, washing her scent everywhere she goes. She was tall but just slightly shorter than I, slender, and had these delicious perky breasts. Her ass was great too, she hit the gym regularly and almost made her walking away from me worthwhile.

I hit on her occasionally, you know, just in case she ever changed her mind and became interested in me. For now though, we were just friends, but definitely not by my choosing. I would take her back to my room on a heartbeat if she wanted to. I liked powerful women. She was the RA in the college dorm I recently moved into and lived one flat below me. She was in charge of organizing all the events for us (she liked to party, so these were great) and had keys to all the rooms in case of emergency or, more likely, we should lock ourselves out in our drunken stupor.