We all know porn isn't real. We read instead about real life BDSM: consent, negotiation, checklists, communication. But sometimes real life doesn't work that way either. Sometimes it’s messy and spontaneous. We take risks. We do our best and, with love and trust, we try to meet our partners where they are. This is the (nsfw) story of a recent development with a cherished casual partner. It’s not a perfect example of kink protocol or best practices, but it worked for us. This story is dedicated to N, my friend who taught me to listen more closely and dare to figure out what a submissive needs even if he can’t tell you yet.
Let’s say this first. This boy is 22 years old. He’s in college, an art student, a stoner, skateboarder, tattooed with gauges in his ears. My teenage fantasies couldn't have formed him better. He’s one of the most attractive people I've ever seen. And god bless him, he wants me, a 30-something-year-old who is none of those things. We have some things in common, but we’re not the kind of people who would be friends. He is quiet and shy, sweet, and openly emotional. He’s young in a lot of ways. And because I don’t need him to be anything else, that’s okay. It’s kind of compelling.