I hear you sneaking into the bathroom, young man. Again. Come out here and sit for a minute. We need to have a talk. And you don’t have to hunch over and try to hide your problem from me. I know what your problem is. I can see that tent in your shorts. Come here. Don’t worry; it doesn’t bother me. It’s completely ok.
I know exactly what it is you need to do right now because you’ve been doing it two or three times a day since you got here. You think I can’t hear you in there? This is a tiny little apartment with thin walls. I can hear you in there panting and groaning. Now I want you to know—look at me, I am not mad, you are not in trouble—that it’s completely ok for you to do that as much as you need to. It’s completely understandable and it’s nothing to be embarrassed about.