Hi! Long time lurker, first time submitter.
Looking to submit this at a few other sites, so I’d love any feedback you have. Is it hot? Did reading this turn you on? Does it flow well? Is the plot clear? Is it believable? Is it too flourish-y? Is the grammar acceptable-ish? Does everything make sense? I love tipsy/drunk/stoned sex, but consent is always an issue. I like consent. Do you feel like this is consensual? And how’s the ending? I feel like it needs a bit more but…
I’d even take spelling checks! Editing is always the hard part for me.
Thanks for reading!
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We’re both at a show. It’s loud, loud like I’m-going-to-be-regretting-it-tomorrow loud. The band is…meh? They’re fine. They’re from Wisconsin. They’re loud. They’re whatever.
By now most of the people who came to the show either left, are still in the crowd but clearly regretting it, or they, like us, went straight to the bar at some point in the last hour. It’s a long show. You and I have been eyeing each other for that last hour. Of our disparate groups of friends, we are now the remaining survivors at the bar. All our friends left us: for a smoke break, weed break, a different show down the block, or just plain ditched us, whatever, and for this moment it’s just you and I at the bar in a sparsely populated bottom of the barrel venue with cheap drinks.