This Is from the POV of a young girl, dreaming about sex with a man she used to date.
You. You. You’ve ruined me
I tried not to think about you. I failed. Bairly one night. I was so sensitively aroused all week. I ignored my urges. I ignored my thoughts of you. And then, last night, the dam burst. I can’t believe I couldn’t even last one week. We haven’t spoken to each other, or done what I’ve wanted in months. Yet, those few, rare times we had our love, your warmth and light permeated my body. You broke the woman I thought I was and helped me discover the woman I am.
Now, I can’t stop. It’s been 4 hours. I can’t sleep. It started with “him”. I wanted to look at some generic porn that doesn’t interest me deeply, doesn’t make me quiver and weak in my knees when I listen to it. Instead, I found “him”. He was too good to pass up. I found videos of him with his partner, and I was hooked. The gentle ferocity, the aggresice love. The sounds she made were exactly like the sounds I made for you. One, two, three videos in. I’ve spent over an hour watching them now. And just like that. A small strain of dignity holding me back snaps.